Wednesday Winning

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  • I can’t get past level 27 of Candy Crush.  you have to get 40,000 points in a minute and for whatever reason I am failing at it.  If you have the ability to send me gifts on that game (for free) that will help please do.  It’s causing me more anxiety than my Praxis Exam on Friday. 
  • I’ve fallen off the Paleo bandwagon – and hard – Trying to scoot back on.  It’s not like I threw caution to the wind and ate a loaf of bread, but I am just not feeling it, if that makes sense.
  • I’m not feeling a lot of things right now, actually.  I am just in a slump.  I am still working out, but I feel like it’s getting me nowhere.  I am still counting my food intake, but I know I could be better about measuring.  I’m just being a lazy lump.  I’m tired, sore, ready for the semester to be over – which it is tomorrow – and ready for a long nap.
  • Fat is apparently Incurable, Guys.  I’m not saying that they are wrong or right in this article, because I don’t know.  I’ve never been at goal, so how would I know if I could keep off the weight forever? That and I will, at the end, have lost at most 60 pounds, not the extreme 230 that most of the people are losing.
  • ( I type this as a eat a funsize candy bar.  Yeah I’ve just given up apparently. :-) )
  • Bur regardless of my ‘giving into my sugar craving – a lot this morning – I am okay with it.  I’m not a failure.  I’m an addict with a horribly large sweet tooth.  I could go without real for food days and live off cake.  Oh cake.  I love cake.  I could sit here and outline the ways I’ve failed, how in the past I used to hide food in my room or finish 1/2 gallon containers of ice cream, but there is no point to revel in the past.
  • I love myself now.  I am rocking Grad School this semester – with a 4.0 might I add – I’m ready to tackle Summer Session with vengeance (not the right word, but go with me here).  I’m sticking with my workouts as planned, no matter how much I don’t feel like doing them.  I am diligent in creating healthy meals, and attempting to stick to them.  Although I fall down a lot, I always get back up.  I have a lot to be grateful for, and I know once I get my head completely in the game, it will all work out.  I just have to get there.
  • I just had a mini debate about the Death Penalty at work.  I’m against the death penalty – I just don’t think we have the right to sentence anyone to death, and it’s an easy out for the sociopath as well.  Apparently I am in limited company with that feeling.  I’m anti-gun, anti-death penalty, democratic liberal basic equalist, and no one likes me here.  :-) HAH.  I live on my soap box.
  • Everything is blowing up at work, as per usual a week or two before a milestone meeting.
  • I am in a eat all the things mood today.  But I am oddly unapologetic about it.  Give me the food.
  • 100 Things a Teenage Girl Wants to Know

Food For Thoughts Wednesday:

Tuesday Things

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Me, at every finish line.

Me, at every finish line.

Yup.

  • I’m in a better head space than I was yesterday during my whiny annoying banter.  I am looking at things differently today, because I have no choice but to.  The negativity can consume you, sure, but then whats the point?  Why am I working so hard in my workouts to simply feel like crap the other 23 hours of the day? I am choosing to carry over those feelings from when I finish my strength training or a hard run – those feelings of satisfaction, gratefulness, pride – and letting them rule for the other 23 hours.  Or at least the hours I am awake.
  • Since the Husband is on travel, I have been going to bed earlier, and I have to say, I like it.  I will be making him follow suit upon his return.
  • Candy Crush on Facebook is pure evil.  PURE EVIL. I’m addicted.
  • I am pretty sure I am going to bomb the Praxis II test on Friday.  I feel not ready, and feel like I should be taking the entire week off to study.  Or I should reschedule.
  • I’ve learned that when talking to someone who is obviously not really interested in what you have to say, the best way to captivate them is to mention something they care about, and periodically respond with ‘Oh, yeah?’ and ‘Cool!’  Works like a charm.
  • Did you hear about these two women who have been missing for 10 years, and they were found alive??  Brings chills.
  • Gov. Christie of New Jersey has opened up that he has had Lap Band Surgery.  I applaud him for being open about it, and for being strong enough to take steps in the right direction towards his health, regardless of how he gets there.  Through Doctor Monitoring I am sure he will succeed at his goals.
  • YEAH THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT NORTH KOREA
  • Tweets I like:

 

 

  • I’m running today – 40 minutes of intervals ( 4 min @ 6.3 / 1 min @ 4.0)  We’ll see how this goes.  I miss being outside but with Rain/Allergies/Looming Cicada infestation I am afraid to be outside for fear of turning into the human version of a sneeze.  Or a puddle.  Or being eaten alive.  Like what if there was a radioactive cicada, and it bit me, and I became Cicada girl?  I’d be blind, and my sole purpose would be to mate and then die.  Great powers.

Food For Thought Tuesday:

 

Oh Monday…

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I am having a fat day.  I feel bloated, and heavy, and restricted in my clothes.

I’m chugging water and eating on plan and tracking everything.  EVERYTHING.  Honestly.

I’m questioning my Paleo-ness at this point.  I mean I could commit to 30 days of Paleo again and see where it takes me in Month 2, but I am seriously questioning the point.  I mean I kind of moved my eating habits away from grains anyways – excluding the cheat meal of the week – and pretty much everything else is the same.

So now it comes down to portions.

Now it comes down to actually thinking through if I am hungry or just mentally craving something because of some addictive property in that food (Sugar, Caffeine, etc.).  This is where the mind change gets in.  This week – Starting today – I am simply tracking everything I eat – good or bad – and all the exercise I do (always good) and then reflecting on how I felt at the end of each day.

I am, for the time being, going by the Caloric Intake that MyFitnessPal.com generated for me, and will be doing that for the next week, to see how I do.  I will still be exercising like always, and eating back those calories.

I need to decipher mental vs. physical hunger, and that has to come first.


I put the Husband on a plane last night for his work trip, and it shockingly wasn’t hard to fall asleep, it was hard to not have anyone to speak to last night though.  I mean Blarney and Moody are great and all, but they can’t respond back in a language I understand.

Not Good For Conversation

Not Good For Conversation

I am having a very blah day, and it’s not helping that with that blahness, I am looking out the window to blah weather.  BLAH.

Workout:

  • NROLFW Stg 2 B3 & intervals (I’m kicking this up a notch today and going for 21 minutes at HIIT – 1 Min all out effort 2 min recovery for 7 rounds)

I’m not going to post my menu today, because since I started writing this post I veered off track (still track on MFP) so badly. UGH Monday.

I hope you all are having a better day than I.

Food For Thought Monday

Face It Friday – Paleo Week 5

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I’m really falling into the rut of “Is this working?”  I’m sure it is, deep down, and my surface has just yet to catch up.  Kind of like my acne medication.  I am sure it’s working but I have yet to reap the full benefits.

Speaking of Crazy, So I am now obsessed with Facebook games:  Farm Heroes, Candy Crush, and Pet Rescue.  Send help.  I am literally playing them whenever I can.

Candy Crush. Currently Locked Out because I lost too many times.

Candy Crush. Currently Locked Out because I lost too many times.

Luckily I have to take breaks, like when I lose too much and am locked out, or like when I have to study, workout, or do my job.

This weekend is pretty laid back with not much planned.  Tonight is dinner out with Lisa to congratulate her for finalizing her move to Sweden in July!  Tomorrow is most like a run in the morning while the Husband mows the lawn, and then who knows – Mother’s Day Shopping?  I’m done with my mom, but I am sure he needs to do some more shopping for her.

Might even stop at some used equipment places looking for a Barbell.  Who knows!

Sunday is my nephews 6 Birthday.  HOLY CRAP WHEN DID HE GROW UP?  That means the Husband and I will have been married for 6 years this June.  HOLY CRAP.  How have we not killed each other yet?

Then I am putting my husband on a plane and sending him to Floirda for work.  Lucky Duck.  I know he’ll be busy the entire time, but still, the idea of going anywhere at this point, even for work, sounds better than just being here.

Next week is my last week of the Spring Semester, and I am expecting A’s in both classes.  I BETTER GET THEM.  I’m about half way through one of the books for one of my summer classes, and even though it’s young adult, I really like it.

Sherman Alexie

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie is about a kid who grows up on a reservation with his alcoholic parents, his older sister, and his one friend who comes from an abusive home.  His family is dirt poor, but with the motivation and encouragement from a teacher, he leaves the “Rez” for his schooling at a racist and white high school about 22 miles away.  So far I am really enjoying it, and I’m already brainstorming ways to teach this book if it is offered to me.

I also found out that Fairfax uses “The Fault in Our Stars” as summer reading for their 9th grade class.  HOW AWESOME IS THAT?

I had a bit of a meltdown last night that carried into this morning.  I am trying desperately to be positive, about everything, but alas my mental issues are catching up with me.  Since being diagnosed with first Depression, and then Bipolar Disorder a while back I have been on and off medication probably since I was 13.  While this is never what anyone should do with a diagnosed mental illness, it was my choice to go off medication because I couldn’t feel on it.  It wasn’t like I wasn’t myself, I just wasn’t anyone.  Since then I have tried many different forms of medication, but I haven’t been seeing a therapist or a licensed Psychiatrist, so my medication decisions have come from my primary care physician, which would be fine, but she is simply “trying things” out instead of looking at the root problems – which is fine, because that’s not her job to be my therapist.

So I am going to do some research and look into finding a doctor who can help, and get me back on track.  I think that could be a big reason why nothing in my head seems to fit together right and I can’t seem to find joy in much these days.

Wow that was deep.  And Heavy.. Sorry for that on a Friday!

So Today’s Plan:

  • Breakfast: 2 Eggs, 1/2 sweet potato, 2 sausage links, coffee, smoothie
  • Lunch: Chipotle Power Salad – lettuce, Chicken, veggies, Milk/Med salsa, Guacamole
  • Snack: Banana, apple, or almonds
  • Dinner: Big Bowl – Chicken Stirfry with Ginger Soy sauce (no rice) 1 Beer
  • Snack: Gelato (may be)

Activity: NROLFW Stage 2 A3 & 2-3 Miles on the treadmill

 

Food For Thought Friday:

Thursday Things

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  • Have you heard of DOMS? It stands for Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness (or something…) and I am in this stage in full effect.  Walking hurts, laying down hurts, sleeping I’m sure hurts, if I was able to know, Sitting hurts.  Eating hurts.  Everything hurts.  Today is a rest day.  It was going to be a rest day anyways, but now it is most certainly a rest day.
  • My breakfast of 1/2 a sweet potato and 2 runny eggs is officially the best meal ever.  I am pretty sure next week when I am cooking for one I’ll be eating this for dinner as well. Oh I am excited.  Not about being alone and left to my own devices, like remembering to wake up on time, and feeding the dogs, but that I can experiment with food a bit more freely.  If something I make now sucks and is horrible, I can’t throw it out and serve popcorn, the Husband won’t have that.  But next week, I can.
  • I am really trying not to be discouraged at this point.  It’s really hard not to be.  I’m going against everything I’ve ever learned about “dieting” or “losing weight” and it’s scary.  I mean on a given day I am still at a deficit in calories, and I am not hungry, so I am not thinking it’s that horrible, right?  My body will catch up eventually.  I am just ready to not feel trapped by the uncomfortable feeling that is living inside this body.
  • I got my hair cut yesterday:

Post Cut / Post Workout

  • It’s not drastic. I mean it’s shorter than it was, but there are more layers, and it feels less heavy and less dead.  My ends were horrible.  My hair is still damaged from doing the brazillian straightening system last summer, so it’s still getting better. Baby steps.  As with everything in life.
  • I have realized with this post I am very boring.
  • THIS makes me so happy.  Live in Northern VA?  Let’s help out a little girl with cancer!
  • I want this entire outfit, hair color, everything:

  • I think it’s really unfair that the mint jeans trend would catch on and was not disclosed to me by my fashion bloggers that I follow religiously, when I found the best pair of mint green jeans in January, but didn’t buy them, because I thought “Oh this will never catch on”.  NOW THEY ARE EVERYWHERE.  If I buy a pair now, I will just look like a fashion trend lemming.  I just didn’t want to be the weirdo in mint green jeans.  From now on, I will buy what I want and what I like, and if it’s trendy, I started it.  
  • This is like my anthem for this summer.  I love Ellie Goulding – ever since I heard ‘Lights’ like 2.5 years ago, and then she performed at Kate and Wills Wedding – COVERING THE HUSBANDS AND MY WEDDING SONG – and now this song is like all I can listen to.  It’s my song.  Mine.  She wrote it for me.
  • Cannibalism Evidence Found in Jamestown –  Well then founding fathers… You have some explaining to do.  My husband’s college friend’s sister was actually part of this press release, so a few degrees of separation between me and being involved in a CNN article.

Articles of Interest:

Wednesday Possibilities – National Runner Month #RunHappyIs @BrooksRunning

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#RunHappy

#RunHappy

Have you experienced this?  I didn’t think it was true, but man, after my Half Marathon (March 2012), I had one beer, and was like blitzed.  I couldn’t believe it.  I was like “But, it was just one?  and I ate stuff.”  My body was experiencing alcohol for the first time it seemed.  I felt like and after school special actress showing children why drinking is bad, and you should just enjoy running.

#RunHappy

#RunHappy

I was always an outcast or a loser in high school, and pretty much through college.  I didn’t get beat up, because I am female, but I had fair weather friends through out both phases in my life, and never quite felt like I belonged to any group, or anyone.  It wasn’t until I laced up running shoes and started running that I found my family.  I am welcomed and encouraged at each event, and even have been told that I inspired people post race.  This one woman at this years Rock n’ Roll Half Marathon told me my race shirt got her through the last mile.  She was going to walk it, until she saw me pass her.

(on the back of the shirt it says “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” – it’s from Team 413)

I never felt like I could be part of a community like this, that is so large.  A smile and a wave to other runners while I am in my neighborhood.  A high five to the girls from the summer Lemonade stand that saved me that one year when I ran out of water.  The woman at the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer 5K who is holding a sign that simply says “Thank You.”

I feel sorry for people who don’t have a family as large as mine, but I’d be more than happy to welcome them if they care to join.

#Runhappy

#Runhappy

PACE BE DAMNED.  I am not planning on winning any races.  I am not even planning on qualifying for races that need qualifying times.  I am only planning on finishing, and finishing with a smile on my face.  I don’t care if you can run 4’58″ minute miles.  THAT’S AWESOME FOR YOU.  Go to the Olympics and make your mom, country, coach proud.  For me, it’s about the moments where it’s me and the road.  I have my music, but that fades into the background and I can just beat peace as my feet hit the ground.  Yeah people pass me.  Old people pass me.  Pregnant women pass me.  Children pass me.  That guy in DC with one leg who does the half marathon every year, PASSED ME.  I don’t care.  I’m good where I’m at.

**Side bar… Just because I am okay with my pace doesn’t mean I enjoy being called a Penguin – a term commonly used by snooty runners in reference to slower runners – it takes a lot more guts to register and run a race with a slower pace knowing you will have to walk, than it does when you are elite and run like it’s your job.  Be kind to all paced runners.  We all have feelings.**

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It’s National Runner Month and Brooks has this handy little hashtag called #RunHappyIs and you can fill in your own statement and personalize it for your own blog, twitter, whatever, as your run happy mantra!

Go to http://is.runhappy.com and personalize your own!

** I am not affiliated with Brooks Running in any way other than I use their products, love their Ghost 5′s in Pink and would be grateful to be an ambassador for them some day (hint hint) **

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Today’s Plan:

  • Breakfast: 2 eggs, 1/2 sweet potato, Coffee, smoothie
  • Snack: LaraBar
  • Lunch: Quinoa, Ground Turkey & Tomato Sauce, Apple with almond butter, carrots
  • Snack: Almonds
  • Dinner: Chicken Stir Fry with Asian Slaw
  • Activity: NROLFW Stg 2 B2 (intervals included in workout)

I have an appointment this afternoon, so I get to leave work early and then I’ll be home to workout.  I woke up at 5:00am to workout but couldn’t drag myself out of bed, so I stayed there for another hour, contemplating my failure to rise early.  I figure once I am between a rock and hard place with my workouts this summer, I’ll get up easier, but for now, with the option of afternoon workouts, I am pretty set in my ways of sleeping till I have to get up to get ready for work.

I need motivation.  I am lacking in the morning motivation department.

Day 1/31 – No Weighing In and No Buying Stuff for myself