I Got a PW at my Race; Working at Home; Need to get My Ish Together

I got a PW (Personal worst) at my race on Saturday

I was not really prepared going into this race.  I knew that the night before.  I was also not feeling mentally okay the night before or the morning of.  I was nervous about this race, and it wasn’t until I actually started running that I felt good.  I felt great walking through the water stops, and then running while pacing myself through the first 5.5 miles.  Then the bitch of a hill showed up.

Calvert St. leaving Rock Creek Park.


My legs felt shredded and like lead after 9 miles.  BUT they did tick away pretty quickly.  I was kind of shocked how the mile markers never felt too far apart.  I felt strong during it, but my endurance seemed to pretty much suck.  I think that is mainly because of my lack of outdoor runs.  I need and will get back outside this weekend…

Working From Home

…If the snow melts.  Yes.  WE GOT MORE SNOW.  I’m so sick of this.  SO SICK OF THIS.  I’m just happy I have the ability to work from home, so I don’t have to take vacation.  Plus if there was ever a Monday where I needed to take the day off, it would have been today.  My legs still feel pretty shredded from the race, so I plan on doing an easy run later and some strength training.  I need to build up glute and hamstring strength – that is the only way that I am going to get better and faster.  I’d like to build up that strength before the massive training begins with the Marathon and all.  So I’m listening this time, and doing strength training as well as cross training that is not slow running.

Need to Get My Ish Together

I’m the Queen of excuses.  I’m the Queen of tomorrows.  I’m the Queen of “I’ve already screwed up”.  Now I am taking on the title of Queen of One day at a time.  I’m taking everything one step at a time, and going from there.  I’ve pre-tracked today and I hope that helps me stick to things.

I need to stop acting like what I have done up to this point is what I can continue to do and get the results I want.  I have to change to get change.  I have to make the choices that need to happen to evoke the change I want.  I have to decide that this is what I want and then go for it.

Today: 2-3 miles easy run, strength training (lower body)

Let’s do this.

Doesn’t Deserve a Title Apparently


Thank you to all who have donated thus far.  It’s an amazing feeling to know that you all are supporting me and the animals with such a generous action.  Love to you all.

                                             Haven’t donated and want to?  Or feel guilt for not doing it?  Want a Tax deduction?                                                    Bethany’s Donation Page

Happy Friday guys!  We made it!  My hip is a lot better today – just in time for the Ortho Appointment.  I’m cautiously optimistic about this appointment, but have decided that I will not be exercising today.  I most likely will not workout at all till my race on Sunday.  I know this is so unlike me, but I want to go in strong, rested, and recuperated.

This could all blow up in my face, but eh.  I’m willing to take that risk.

My husband was in a fender bender this morning, and thankfully he is fine – I attribute his fine-ness to the fact that he is in a Subaru.  The car that is just amazing at everything.  I will be buying one the minute I can.

I purchased some casual dresses this morning, in hopes of becoming female this year…

I really like both of them, and got them both on sale – YAY COUPONS – and I hope they BOTH work out.  I’d love to be able to throw on a cardigan or blazer and have a cute work outfit that can transition to happy hour outfit easily.  How complete Cosmo does that sound?

I’m also embracing the fact that my thighs are just gonna get bigger as my training continues.  When I was training for my first half my thighs got bigger and more toned, and my calves got smallish (not really) and more toned.  I’m just never going to have slim legs, and that’s fine.  I’ll most likely have to sell all the skinny jeans without stretch that I bought for when I lose weight, because there is no way they are going to fit over these hamstrings.

The little issues.

@Amanda Farris : I laughed out loud when I saw this because I thought it would be perfect for Eric! Good thing he didn't get lost during the marathon or this would be him! ;)

Legit Fear Of Mine

I’m beginning (Prelim stages folks) to accept things about myself at this point.  I looked in the mirror this morning and noted how great my butt looks in these jeans.  Now granted, I am bias, because I love these jeans, but I don’t love my butt.  Except for today!  I also noticed how my skin is clearing up – FINALLY.  Being almost 30 with acne sucks – so that is a plus.  My hair is starting to go back to normal with a little help of sea salt spray, so i’m happy about that.  I’m just not giving up.

Running Humor: My mom told me I can be anything I want to if I put my mind to it....

Happy Friday Folks!

Don’t forget to donate!!!

Day 1 of Not Giving Up

I know I shouldn’t weigh myself everyday or be a slave to the scale, but I was happy to see a dip this morning from yesterday.  It keeps me motivated.  I’m totally fine with doing this my own way this go around and not falling into the “What’s the newest and most innovative diet out there??” I’m just trying to be clean, Gluten Free, and full.  If I achieve those things, then I am golden.  I went to bed early last night to evade the temptation of eating.

I got more sleep, and felt better this morning than I have in a while, and I didn’t eat needless food.  I call this a win.

My run yesterday wasn’t very good.  My hip started acting up again and it made me have to jump off a few times.  I’ve decided to take today off and stretch/yoga and tomorrow I am resting completely with some stretching before bed.  I have to walk across campus to class, so that will count as my workout.  It’s about 3/4 of a mile one way, so it will at least get my legs loose.

I need to know when to rest, and even though it’s a massive worry, I think that after resting I will be good.  I did this last week and it went fine.  It was only when I over did it that I noticed the pain coming back.  So for now, it’s extra protein, water, tylenol, and icey hot.  Sorry for the menthol smell.


I’m at 61% ya’ll!!! In 7 DAYS!  That is amazing.  I am hoping to beat my goal of $1000.00 but I still need help.  As a loyal reader, if you could find it in your heart and wallet to support me (even with $5.00) it would mean so much to me.  I am in the process of coming up with a thank you gift for everyone that donates – SO DON’T MISS OUT!

Mental Stability

I’m getting there.  I will get there.  I looked at myself this morning and saw something I hadn’t seen in a while.  I saw acceptance.  Yes, I have cellulite.  Unless I get Lipo from the guys on Nip/Tuck it will always be there in some form.  Yes I have stretch marks.  They will be battle wounds that I earned.  I will look at them and remember how far I have come.  I have clothes that don’t fit now, which means they will fit soon, and I will look great in them.

Breaking Point

I’m not sure how I got this out of control.  I am not sure why I allow myself to continue to treat my body like a moving dumpster (Thanks The Oatmeal for the perfect visual).  I just don’t get how I can hate the way I look and feel so much, but still can’t turn around and do something about it.  I look at Jason and think ‘He can stop eating… hwy can’t I?’  Emotional issues, boredom issues, and the feeling of never being good enough to treat myself better, are the starting points.

How I always see myself (Heaviest Weight 221 pounds)

How I always see myself (Heaviest Weight 221 pounds)

221 pounds at Disney World

221 pounds at Disney World

Lowest Adult Weight - 172.3 Pounds (San Francisco, CA 2011)

Lowest Adult Weight – 172.3 Pounds (San Francisco, CA 2011)

Feb 9, 2014 : 180's-190's

Feb 9, 2014 : 180′s-190′s

That took a lot to type that.  I actually am sweating.  Putting my weight out there for anyone and everyone to see.  I’ve said it a hundred times.  I’ll say it 100 more.  I’m not giving up.  I’m not going to ever be that weight again.  I weighed in this morning, and reset my weight tracking day to Tuesday.  I’ve changed my macros on Myfitnesspal so that I can focus on the types of calories I am putting in my body and not just the number.

I’m doing 4 miles this afternoon and an arm circuit.  I am so lost without a plan and without any idea of what I am doing anymore.

I’ve hit my breaking point.  I’ve hit the moment where I can’t take the person that I’ve become.  I need to be held accountable.


  • Breakfast: 4 pieces of bacon, 2 eggs, coffee & half and half
  • Snack: Banana
  • Lunch: Big Salad: broccoli slaw, onion, carrots, mushrooms, feta, white balsamic; Taboule; Yogurt, Diet Coke
  • Snack: Apple & Shakeology mix
  • Quinoa, beef, and Egg mash

I’m going to win this fight.




Goodbye January

Did this month go fast for anyone else?  I mean really.  I take the exam – AGAIN – next weekend.  Which is sure to be the weekend that kills me, as it is my sister’s birthday and my parents anniversary on Friday, Saturday is my exam, Sunday is my 5k in the morning, and then dress shopping for my little sisters wedding in the afternoon.  I hate when weekends are jam packed with crap like that.  Oh well.

Today’s Plan:

  • Breakfast: Eggs, and Meatballs, Coffee
  • Snack: Banana
  • Lunch: Mixed greens salad w/ carrots, tomatoes, onion, Gorgonzola, and chicken, yogurt, clementines
  • Snack: Apple, banana, Quest Bar
  • Dinner: Cauliflower Pizza

Activity: 7 Mile Run (On the treadmill because I’m dumb)

I have a doctors appointment straight after work and then I’m running.  I missed my long run last week and did 6 miles on Monday – which I have to say set me up for a really good week mood wise… might continue to have a longer run on Mondays… But I need to make up for it this week.  After two days of no activity, I think my legs are ready for it.  We’ll see.

ugliest-dog 2009 ~ (I don't think there is such a thing as an ugly dog. She is Beautiful~!!!)  ~♥~

Kind of how I feel today

We’ll see how it goes.

This weekend, however, my plans are kind of haphazard.

Tonight: A rousing night of gluten free cooking, DVR’d shows, most likely breaking my Gluten Free-ness and going to BadWolf for a beer, most likely then heading home – or to Harris Teeter for Ice Cream.. Let’s be honest.

Saturday: Rest Day.  Going shopping in the morning for something for my parents, and then heading home to do whatever – most likely clean, or grocery shop, and then dinner with Alex and Lisette afterward at a Japanese Steakhouse!

Sunday: Football day.  Dog Grooming in the morning, 3ish mile run at some point, baking a cake for my brother in law’s birthday celebration that night.  Ignoring the Super Bowl.

  • What are you up to this weekend?
  • Baking anything fun?
  • If you were a dog, what kind of dog would you be?

p.s. I lost 2 pounds this week.  It’s nice, and I am just going to keep on keeping on.


To To To Tuesday

Yesterday was Day 1 – 100% Wheat free.  It was beautiful.  I wasn’t hungry.  WASN’T HUNGRY.  I ate my meals, then had popcorn and some sorbet after dinner and that was it.  Ah-mazing.

I stuck to my planned meals from yesterday as well.  I was able to get a salad from the work cafeteria, and even completed my two a day workout.

Strength Training (At Lunch):

  • Tricep Press – need more weight next time, wasn’t nearly hard enough
  • Chest Press
  • Shoulder Press
  • Lateral Pull Down
  • Seated Row
  • Bicep Curl
  • Goblet Squat
  • Dead lift
  • Abdominal Crunch

Cardio (After work):

  • 6 Miles 1:04:51

I had meant to do 7, but something was wonky with my legs and my brain.  I need to figure out why they give out so easily now, it’s kind of redonkulous.  I’m going to do an interval workout today for building endurance and speed so may be that will loosen these lead legs up a bit.

Not a Happy Run Face

Today’s Plan:

  • Breakfast: 1/2 avocado, 2 scrambled eggs, bacon; coffee w/ half n’ half
  • Snack: Banana
  • Lunch: Mixed Greens Salad w/ Cucumber, Feta, Zucchini, cherry tomatoes, chicken; yogurt
  • Snack: Apple
  • Dinner: Taco Salad for me – Taco’s for the husband

Today’s Workout:

  • Running Intervals:
    • Warm up – 5 minutes
      • 5 minutes – 5.5 mph
    • Intervals (5 Times Total) – 20 minutes
      • 2 minutes – 6.0 mph
      • 1 minute – 8.0 mph
      • 1 minute – 4.0 mph
    • Cool Down – 10 Minutes
      • 5 minutes – 5.5 mph
      • Walk for 5 minutes at 3.5 mph

The State of the Union address is tonight at 9:00 pm EST – I imagine every channel will be airing it, so go forth and get up to date about what is going on.

What I Ate Wednesday and Why I Can’t Do It

Here is what I was planning on doing yesterday….

I’ll try to do this when I remember, which might not be much, but hey, I am doing it this week!  May be it will be a good way to keep me accountable, truthful to myself.  We’ll see how it goes.


Wegman's Lite English Muffin, Low Fat Cream Cheese, Wilkin's Strawberry Perserves (4)

Wegman’s Lite English Muffin, Low Fat Cream Cheese, Wilkin’s Strawberry Perserves (4+)

photo 2

Shakeology Smoothie – 1/2 Scoop Shakeology, 1 cup Skim Milk, Strawberries, 1/2 banana (4 P+)

photo 3

Coffee w/ Fat Free Half and Half (1P+)

Clementines (0P+)

Clementines (0P+) There were many of these

Not pictured:

  • Snyders of Hanover Nibblers (16 nibblers) – 3P+
  • 1/2 cup low fat coffee ice cream – 4P+
  • 2nd Cup of Coffee w/ Fat free half and half – 1P+

Water Count: 20+24+

That’s where I stopped.

I have a really hard time remembering to take pictures before I just start eating.  Yesterday started off well, because I was working from home, and took time preparing my meals for the first part of the day.  Then I got really busy, you know working, and then I had to shower and get ready to leave for class.  I was out the door by 3:00 pm and it took me over an hour to get to campus (about 16 miles from my house) because of the roads.  Everything was okay except for my neighborhood, and Braddock Road – the main road leading to campus.  Once on campus I was shocked to see that the main road (Patriot Circle) looked like it hadn’t been touched.  The parking lots were worse.

I parked on an incline of a snow bank.  Not joking.

I got to class, on time thankfully, and then hunkered down because my exposed skin walking to class was stinging and on fire from the extremely cold wind.

Bathroom Selfies Are Kind Of My Thing.

Class was class.  The teacher doesn’t really seem friendly or approachable.  Most of the time when I’ve asked questions in the past about an assignment or clarification on something else, I’ve received an answer.  This time I was met with “It’s in the Syllabus.”


If this wasn’t a required course, and I hadn’t already bought the books, I would have simply dropped it last night.  I wish I had a different professor.  The only nice thing about this, is that it meets mostly online.  I can most likely do the larger projects pretty much in a weekend, so I am not worried about that aspect.  I might bang them out tomorrow really, since I am home from work with my flexed holiday.

I have my second class tonight, which was recommended to me by Zenkov (The most amazing Professor to have ever lived) so I am sure it will be at least captivating.  The one saving grace I have for this semester is that my classes are from 4:30 – 7:10.  SO AT LEAST I’m not getting out at 10:00 pm and then getting home close to 11, and then winding down by midnight and waking up at 6:00 am.

So far I am kind of “Eh” about this semester.  I met some people last night that kind of worry me about what I am getting myself into, and I am still unsure about how to go about actually getting through this.  Frankly, if I pass the Praxis this February (you know the 4th time I’ve taken it) then I figure I can do anything.  But I am not very confident in that respect.  I am also really scared of not passing, and then never passing, and jumping off a bridge.

But one step at a time.

I’m fully tracked for the day, and looking at food and food intake as something I can control.  I didn’t workout yesterday, as my legs were sore, and my heart wasn’t in it.  I doubt I’ll get the chance to workout today as I won’t get home till about 7:45 – 8:00 pm and by then exhaustion will have set in.  I plan on 5 miles tomorrow morning, and then a weight workout just to get me back into the groove of two a day workouts.  I notice I feel more empowered when I bust through those.  I am exhausted, but empowered.

My races are coming up quick, so it’s time to kick it into full gear.  As long as the sidewalks are clear this weekend, I’m doing 8 miles.  There.  I said it.  So I must do it.