Learning From Mistakes


“Failure is not something that you are, it’s something that you do.”  - I can’t remember who wrote this and google isn’t helping.

What a concept.  What a truth.

I am not a failure for my mistakes.  I have failed in the past.  The point is, what I learned from it.  The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.

I do this too.

So I fail at things and I am insane.

I can work with that.

Step 1 – What’s not Working?

I can’t have ice cream, chips, crackers, cookies, 100 calorie packs, etc in the house without overeating, and overeating hard.  Except every week at the grocery store, these items make it into my cart.  WHY?  because I am a glutton for punishment?  Because I don’t actually want to lose weight?  because I don’t have control?

That is all B.S.

I do have control.  I am a strong person who doesn’t need that cupcake, that milkshake, that frap from starbucks, the box of cereal, the 1/2 gallon of ice cream, or that 4th beer.

Okay sometimes I need the 4th beer.

I can’t keep eating the way I’ve been eating and expect things to change.

Step 2 – Removing the Problems

It’s easy to say “I won’t buy that stuff” but when I am at work with a cafe downstairs, a candy jar on my bosses desk, and people constantly bringing in delicious homemade items, it’s hard to stay accountable.

Untitled

So how do I do this?  Plan plan plan.  Bring snacks with me to work that are healthy – fruit, veggies, protein bars, chug water, lots of water.  STAY OUT OF THE WORK KITCHEN.  I don’t even put my lunch there, so why am I constantly venturing back there?  IN HOPE SOMEONE HAS DROPPED FOOD.

I’m like a dog really.

Step 3- You will slip up, so don’t beat yourself up

When I do slip up, which will happen, I can’t beat myself up about it, and I sure as heck can’t throw in the towel and say “I’ll start again tomorrow” I’m starting now.  Today I pack my breakfast, snacks, and lunch all up for me to bring to work.  I have confidently walked past the candy jar 3 times and not even looked at it (Okay I looked once).

I saw the scary number on the scale, and I thought that would shove me in the right direction, but instead I just got comfortable with it.  I got used to seeing the number on the scale and stopped letting it bother me.  Instead I would just blame myself and state that I am too weak to lose weight, and it will never happen.

That needs to stop.  Yes, it’s my fault, but those bad decisions don’t define me.  I need to grow up.

Step 4 – Stop Chasing My Tail

I just run.  All I do is run.  All I do is run and run and run.  At first I was like “BOOM LOSING WEIGHT!” then I was like “Man I am hungry ALL THE TIME.”  Then I was like “Oh I can eat whatever the heck I want because I ran X miles today!  BRING ON THE SHEET CAKE!”

Oh that doesn’t work, does it?

So I was running like a crazy person, eating like a crazy person, and then running more to burn off the food, which would then make me eat more.

Hello Plateau.

I pretty much went between the same 5 pounds for the past 6 months.  Well how am I going to fix this?  I’m running 3 races in the next 6 weeks, and running a bunch in the fall – INCLUDING A MARATHON.

easy peasy.  I’m adding in other workouts.  I’ve started my DVD collection again.  Dusted off some Bob Harper, some Jillian Michaels, some Firm DVDs, and I am getting to it.  I plan one rotating them so I don’t get bored or too used to one over the other.  I have the Biggest Loser Bootcamp which I talked about before (that kicked my butt).  I have the Firm Strength Training DVD (which always kicks my butt).  I also just got Jillian Michaels Kickbox Fast Fix – while I know it will not be a fast transition from flab to fab, I like the motivation it gives.

Step 5 – Rinse and Repeat

I will have good days, and bad days.  Heck, I might have GREAT days.  I might also have HORRIBLE days.  That is life.  So instead of dwelling on the horrible days, and the problems, I’ll hold on to the good days.  I’ll use those as motivation.  I’ll keep going with those.

 

Today:

B: 2 eggs, 3 strips of bacon, coffee, and a banana

S: Orange

L: Wrap with turkey, provolone, onion and grain mustard; yogurt; diced pears; carrots

S: Quest Nutrition Bar

D: Where ever I go it will be a salad with protein

Activity: 4 mile run & 20 push ups

Biggest Loser Boot Camp DVD (I heart you Bob Harper)


I didn’t want to run last night, and the idea of just strength training from a book made me bored, so I looked through my stack of Workout DVDs.  Not wanting to be yelled at (Ahem, Jillian), I opted for the Biggest Loser Boot Camp DVD with Bob Harper.  I really enjoy these DVDs because they have people who haven’t completed their weight loss journeys, and also have people who are maintaining.  It’s more realistic and less intimidating.

There are 3 workouts (20, 15, and 10 minutes in length) plus a 5 minute warm up and cool down.  I opted for the 20 minute and 15 minute workout with the warm up and cool down to give myself a 45 minute workout.  I had never actually used this DVD (weird) so I wasn’t sure what to expect.

You do everything in this workout and you are screaming at the end.

I had to stop a lot during the second workout, my arms were screaming and I was only using 8 pound weights.  This DVD made me feel WEAK.  Which is good.  It has some cardio intervals, but the emphasis is on body weight and strength strength training.  I really enjoyed it, and am looking forward to doing it again.  I plan on this being my workout twice a week along with running 3 times a week.

Menu:

  • Breakfast – 2 eggs, bacon, coffee, and half and half (6p+)
  • Snack – Orange (0p+)
  • Lunch – Flatout wrap, turkey, provolone, mustard and onion (7p+), yogurt (3p+), Carrots (0p+), Diced Pears in juice (2p+)
  • Snack – Before Class Banana and apple (0p+), during class Coffee (3P+) and Quest Bar (5P+)
  • Dinner – Black Bean Avocado Salad (Black beans, avocado, cherry tomatoes, onion, bell pepper, lime juice, cilantro, corn, romaine lettuce) (7p+)

No activity today because I have class this evening.  I can’t believe after this week, I’ll have 5 weeks left in the semester.  Lordy lou.  It went by quick!

I’m also looking forward to not taking classes this summer.  I am, however, trying to figure out how I can go about getting some certificates with regards to my Masters.  I know Jason is reading this watching his money fly away thinking of it… Especially since I am looking at PhD programs too….. Sorry hunny!

I hope you all have a blessed day!  I’m gearing up for races in April, and scared to death about running another half marathon so close to the one I just did.  I guess that’s good for marathon training right?

xoxoxox

Defeating the Scale Tuesday – Week 3 – Standstill


I already knew this secret.  Someday, I am going to try it,  I swear I am.  Just as soon as I finish pinning 100 more fabulous desserts!!!!!!

  • Starting Weight: 190.8 pounds
  • Current Weight: 190.6
  • Week Difference: 0
  • Total Difference: -0.2
  • Emotion: Motivation?

I was surprised that I didn’t gain this week, but also, as usual I was upset that I didn’t lose either.  I do realize that a lot of my weight at this point isn’t just fat, but muscle.  My calves are pretty tight and hard and so are my hamstrings.  I guess if I didn’t feel like an Ox barreling down the hallway when I walk at work, the number on the scale wouldn’t matter so much.

Buy, hey look, it does.

I ran my 7 miles yesterday which was painful and horrible and I hate treadmills.  I think I am developing a hate of running because of treadmills.  I don’t hate it when I am outside or when I am in a race (except for the last mile) so it has to be the treadmill.  I feel weak on it.  My legs and shins start to scream on it.  I think I have found the solution to my own problem.

Today I didn’t really have a workout planned so much as I was going to see how I felt at the end of the day and go from there.  I think I might do some HIIT and arm exercises but without a plan in front of me I look dumb just going through random exercises.  Ugh.

Maybe I’ll do a workout from Drop 2 Sizes and then sprints on the treadmill.  hmmm.

Food Today:

  • B – 2 eggs, 3 strips of bacon, coffee & fat free half and half (6p+)
  • Snack – Orange (0p+)
  • Lunch – Chipotle Salad – Lettuce, Brown Rice, Pinto Beans, Veggies, medium salsa (5p+)
  • Snack – Apple, Banana (0p+) or Quest Nutrition Bar (5p+)
  • Dinner – Gluten free pasta, Ground beef, pasta sauce (12p+)

weight loss motivation | Weight Loss Motivation (Part2) | waysforweightloss

I Got a PW at my Race; Working at Home; Need to get My Ish Together


I got a PW (Personal worst) at my race on Saturday

I was not really prepared going into this race.  I knew that the night before.  I was also not feeling mentally okay the night before or the morning of.  I was nervous about this race, and it wasn’t until I actually started running that I felt good.  I felt great walking through the water stops, and then running while pacing myself through the first 5.5 miles.  Then the bitch of a hill showed up.

Calvert St. leaving Rock Creek Park.

Horrible.

My legs felt shredded and like lead after 9 miles.  BUT they did tick away pretty quickly.  I was kind of shocked how the mile markers never felt too far apart.  I felt strong during it, but my endurance seemed to pretty much suck.  I think that is mainly because of my lack of outdoor runs.  I need and will get back outside this weekend…

Working From Home

…If the snow melts.  Yes.  WE GOT MORE SNOW.  I’m so sick of this.  SO SICK OF THIS.  I’m just happy I have the ability to work from home, so I don’t have to take vacation.  Plus if there was ever a Monday where I needed to take the day off, it would have been today.  My legs still feel pretty shredded from the race, so I plan on doing an easy run later and some strength training.  I need to build up glute and hamstring strength – that is the only way that I am going to get better and faster.  I’d like to build up that strength before the massive training begins with the Marathon and all.  So I’m listening this time, and doing strength training as well as cross training that is not slow running.

Need to Get My Ish Together

I’m the Queen of excuses.  I’m the Queen of tomorrows.  I’m the Queen of “I’ve already screwed up”.  Now I am taking on the title of Queen of One day at a time.  I’m taking everything one step at a time, and going from there.  I’ve pre-tracked today and I hope that helps me stick to things.

I need to stop acting like what I have done up to this point is what I can continue to do and get the results I want.  I have to change to get change.  I have to make the choices that need to happen to evoke the change I want.  I have to decide that this is what I want and then go for it.

Today: 2-3 miles easy run, strength training (lower body)

Let’s do this.

Doesn’t Deserve a Title Apparently


70% FUNDED FOR THE MARINE CORPS MARATHON!

Thank you to all who have donated thus far.  It’s an amazing feeling to know that you all are supporting me and the animals with such a generous action.  Love to you all.

                                             Haven’t donated and want to?  Or feel guilt for not doing it?  Want a Tax deduction?                                                    Bethany’s Donation Page

Happy Friday guys!  We made it!  My hip is a lot better today – just in time for the Ortho Appointment.  I’m cautiously optimistic about this appointment, but have decided that I will not be exercising today.  I most likely will not workout at all till my race on Sunday.  I know this is so unlike me, but I want to go in strong, rested, and recuperated.

This could all blow up in my face, but eh.  I’m willing to take that risk.

My husband was in a fender bender this morning, and thankfully he is fine – I attribute his fine-ness to the fact that he is in a Subaru.  The car that is just amazing at everything.  I will be buying one the minute I can.

I purchased some casual dresses this morning, in hopes of becoming female this year…

I really like both of them, and got them both on sale – YAY COUPONS – and I hope they BOTH work out.  I’d love to be able to throw on a cardigan or blazer and have a cute work outfit that can transition to happy hour outfit easily.  How complete Cosmo does that sound?

I’m also embracing the fact that my thighs are just gonna get bigger as my training continues.  When I was training for my first half my thighs got bigger and more toned, and my calves got smallish (not really) and more toned.  I’m just never going to have slim legs, and that’s fine.  I’ll most likely have to sell all the skinny jeans without stretch that I bought for when I lose weight, because there is no way they are going to fit over these hamstrings.

The little issues.

@Amanda Farris : I laughed out loud when I saw this because I thought it would be perfect for Eric! Good thing he didn't get lost during the marathon or this would be him! ;)

Legit Fear Of Mine

I’m beginning (Prelim stages folks) to accept things about myself at this point.  I looked in the mirror this morning and noted how great my butt looks in these jeans.  Now granted, I am bias, because I love these jeans, but I don’t love my butt.  Except for today!  I also noticed how my skin is clearing up – FINALLY.  Being almost 30 with acne sucks – so that is a plus.  My hair is starting to go back to normal with a little help of sea salt spray, so i’m happy about that.  I’m just not giving up.

Running Humor: My mom told me I can be anything I want to if I put my mind to it....

Happy Friday Folks!

Don’t forget to donate!!!

Day 1 of Not Giving Up


I know I shouldn’t weigh myself everyday or be a slave to the scale, but I was happy to see a dip this morning from yesterday.  It keeps me motivated.  I’m totally fine with doing this my own way this go around and not falling into the “What’s the newest and most innovative diet out there??” I’m just trying to be clean, Gluten Free, and full.  If I achieve those things, then I am golden.  I went to bed early last night to evade the temptation of eating.

I got more sleep, and felt better this morning than I have in a while, and I didn’t eat needless food.  I call this a win.

My run yesterday wasn’t very good.  My hip started acting up again and it made me have to jump off a few times.  I’ve decided to take today off and stretch/yoga and tomorrow I am resting completely with some stretching before bed.  I have to walk across campus to class, so that will count as my workout.  It’s about 3/4 of a mile one way, so it will at least get my legs loose.

I need to know when to rest, and even though it’s a massive worry, I think that after resting I will be good.  I did this last week and it went fine.  It was only when I over did it that I noticed the pain coming back.  So for now, it’s extra protein, water, tylenol, and icey hot.  Sorry for the menthol smell.

Fundraising

I’m at 61% ya’ll!!! In 7 DAYS!  That is amazing.  I am hoping to beat my goal of $1000.00 but I still need help.  As a loyal reader, if you could find it in your heart and wallet to support me (even with $5.00) it would mean so much to me.  I am in the process of coming up with a thank you gift for everyone that donates – SO DON’T MISS OUT!

Mental Stability

I’m getting there.  I will get there.  I looked at myself this morning and saw something I hadn’t seen in a while.  I saw acceptance.  Yes, I have cellulite.  Unless I get Lipo from the guys on Nip/Tuck it will always be there in some form.  Yes I have stretch marks.  They will be battle wounds that I earned.  I will look at them and remember how far I have come.  I have clothes that don’t fit now, which means they will fit soon, and I will look great in them.

Ode to the Weekend


I was off work on Friday (YAY FLEXING HOLIDAYS) so my weekend started on Thursday where we said goodbye to Lisa :-(  Sads.  But she will be back in like 4 months!

Moving on!  I ran 9 miles on Friday -which wasn’t great, but it wasn’t horrible either.  It was just so/so.  I am slowing down my pace A LOT, because let’s face it.  I’m not going to win the Marine Corps Marathon – or any other race for that matter (unless I am racing my Dog Moody who just gets tired from eating breakfast) so there is no point to kill myself with speed.  I’d rather hit distances like my 20 mile run, than do a really fast 5k (at this point, because I am not running anymore 5k races this year – yet).

Speaking of which!

Like I said last week, I’m running the MCM this year as a Charity Runner for the Washington Humane Society.  This is an amazing cause and one that I hold especially dear to my heart.  If you can possibly help me get to my goal, it would be SO appreciated.  I am planning on a giveaway in the coming months for people who have donated as well as personal thank you notes – in the actual mail, because email won’t show my gratitude!

I ran the 9 miles on Friday, took Saturday off to hang out with some friends at Delaplane Cellars.  If you are in Virginia and are looking for a great winery, this is it.

Don’t you just love my cheese face?

We killed 7 bottles that day.  It was a good day.

We ate too much at a Lebanese Restaurant for dinner, and then went home to watch Dexter and sober up – which didn’t happen.  I don’t sleep well on wine tipsyness so Sunday, I was pretty beat.  Jason headed out on Sunday and left me on the couch with Nip/Tuck and the idea of running later.

I did run, in fact.  3.1 miles of slow slow proportions, but it was still done.

Today’s Plan:

  • Walk 2 Miles
  • Yoga DVD

I’m craving healthy food as I was not very healthy this weekend, so we’ll see how that goes!

Have a great Monday and Please Donate if you can.  I’ll just be more and more annoying until I hit goal!

Goodbye January


Did this month go fast for anyone else?  I mean really.  I take the exam – AGAIN – next weekend.  Which is sure to be the weekend that kills me, as it is my sister’s birthday and my parents anniversary on Friday, Saturday is my exam, Sunday is my 5k in the morning, and then dress shopping for my little sisters wedding in the afternoon.  I hate when weekends are jam packed with crap like that.  Oh well.

Today’s Plan:

  • Breakfast: Eggs, and Meatballs, Coffee
  • Snack: Banana
  • Lunch: Mixed greens salad w/ carrots, tomatoes, onion, Gorgonzola, and chicken, yogurt, clementines
  • Snack: Apple, banana, Quest Bar
  • Dinner: Cauliflower Pizza

Activity: 7 Mile Run (On the treadmill because I’m dumb)

I have a doctors appointment straight after work and then I’m running.  I missed my long run last week and did 6 miles on Monday – which I have to say set me up for a really good week mood wise… might continue to have a longer run on Mondays… But I need to make up for it this week.  After two days of no activity, I think my legs are ready for it.  We’ll see.

ugliest-dog 2009 ~ (I don't think there is such a thing as an ugly dog. She is Beautiful~!!!)  ~♥~

Kind of how I feel today

We’ll see how it goes.

This weekend, however, my plans are kind of haphazard.

Tonight: A rousing night of gluten free cooking, DVR’d shows, most likely breaking my Gluten Free-ness and going to BadWolf for a beer, most likely then heading home – or to Harris Teeter for Ice Cream.. Let’s be honest.

Saturday: Rest Day.  Going shopping in the morning for something for my parents, and then heading home to do whatever – most likely clean, or grocery shop, and then dinner with Alex and Lisette afterward at a Japanese Steakhouse!

Sunday: Football day.  Dog Grooming in the morning, 3ish mile run at some point, baking a cake for my brother in law’s birthday celebration that night.  Ignoring the Super Bowl.

  • What are you up to this weekend?
  • Baking anything fun?
  • If you were a dog, what kind of dog would you be?

p.s. I lost 2 pounds this week.  It’s nice, and I am just going to keep on keeping on.

 

So You Want to Play With Magic?


I’m on Day 3 of Wheat Free, and I have to say I am pretty much loving how I’m feeling.  Not hungry, more energy, no headaches, etc.  It’s a wonder.

I’m working on a post explaining a lot of my choices with this, and lots of sources on the subject.  If for nothing else, I am so far doing well.  I am liking the current state with myself, but like I’ve said before, it’s not for everyone, and I would never push a diet on here that I think everyone should do.  Find what works for you and do it.

FYI I’m still eating carbs, just not of the bread variety.

I’m obsessed with that Katy Perry song by the way, I’ve downloaded it for my running playlist and am not ashamed to say I’ve listened to it on repeat pretty much for the past 4 days.  I know that I sound nothing like her, so I apologize if you are caught with me in a small space when it comes on the radio, because you are in for torture.

Be My Friend.

Be My Friend.

So it’s Wednesday and I suck at taking pictures of my food.  So here is one picture of what I am eating today:

Clementines (0P+)

Clementines (0P+)

Yep.  that’s it.

Menu:

  • Breakfast: 2 Eggs, 3 strips of bacon, coffee with Half n’ Half
  • Snack: SO MANY CLEMENTINES
  • Lunch: Mixed Green Salad with: Cucumber, Zucchini, baby carrots, cherry tomatoes, feta, chicken strips, and balsamic vinaigrette.  Yogurt, Diet Coke
  • Snack: Apple
  • During Class Snack: Quest Nutrition Chocolate Brownie Protein Bar (Gluten Free!)
  • Dinner: Bacon Wrapped Chicken Breast with Parmesan Asparagus

No activity today because there is no time for a lunch time workout with all the meetings I have, and I’ll be in class till 7, not getting home till close to 8.

It’s okay.  I ran yesterday!

We got snow again last night, which meant that no one had school, and no one was driving normally, and everyone acted like it was the end of the world and all humanity.

If my hockey puck of a car can make it through, you have no excuse.  Unless of course you ride a bicycle, unicycle, rickshaw, or swim to work.

I’m noticing that my running is getting harder and harder.  At first I was like “My legs are obviously possessed and no longer wish to abide by their owner” but then I thought – Is it my shoes?  Nope, couldn’t be.  I’ve had these babies not even six months, and I don’t run more than like 20 miles a week, so there is no way I’ve worn them out – and I have two pairs which I interchange frequently.  So, could it be my alien parasite that I was talking about on Twitter earlier?

Untitled

 

and then I made, what I was told, is an insensitive comment

Untitled1I can see both sides.

Or maybe it is the fact I am running on a treadmill?  I’m not sure.  I do know, however, my long run of 7 miles will be outside this Saturday because apparently it’s going to be in the 50′s?  I mean, Weather… come on.

Don’t tease me so.

Well, that’s all I got.

If you hate my Bachelor Recaps and want a better one each week go to: http://www.ashleyjonesy.com/

 

What I Ate Wednesday and Why I Can’t Do It


Here is what I was planning on doing yesterday….

I’ll try to do this when I remember, which might not be much, but hey, I am doing it this week!  May be it will be a good way to keep me accountable, truthful to myself.  We’ll see how it goes.

Breakfast:

Wegman's Lite English Muffin, Low Fat Cream Cheese, Wilkin's Strawberry Perserves (4)

Wegman’s Lite English Muffin, Low Fat Cream Cheese, Wilkin’s Strawberry Perserves (4+)

photo 2

Shakeology Smoothie – 1/2 Scoop Shakeology, 1 cup Skim Milk, Strawberries, 1/2 banana (4 P+)

photo 3

Coffee w/ Fat Free Half and Half (1P+)

Clementines (0P+)

Clementines (0P+) There were many of these

Not pictured:

  • Snyders of Hanover Nibblers (16 nibblers) – 3P+
  • 1/2 cup low fat coffee ice cream – 4P+
  • 2nd Cup of Coffee w/ Fat free half and half – 1P+

Water Count: 20+24+

That’s where I stopped.

I have a really hard time remembering to take pictures before I just start eating.  Yesterday started off well, because I was working from home, and took time preparing my meals for the first part of the day.  Then I got really busy, you know working, and then I had to shower and get ready to leave for class.  I was out the door by 3:00 pm and it took me over an hour to get to campus (about 16 miles from my house) because of the roads.  Everything was okay except for my neighborhood, and Braddock Road – the main road leading to campus.  Once on campus I was shocked to see that the main road (Patriot Circle) looked like it hadn’t been touched.  The parking lots were worse.

I parked on an incline of a snow bank.  Not joking.

I got to class, on time thankfully, and then hunkered down because my exposed skin walking to class was stinging and on fire from the extremely cold wind.

Bathroom Selfies Are Kind Of My Thing.

Class was class.  The teacher doesn’t really seem friendly or approachable.  Most of the time when I’ve asked questions in the past about an assignment or clarification on something else, I’ve received an answer.  This time I was met with “It’s in the Syllabus.”

Wow.

If this wasn’t a required course, and I hadn’t already bought the books, I would have simply dropped it last night.  I wish I had a different professor.  The only nice thing about this, is that it meets mostly online.  I can most likely do the larger projects pretty much in a weekend, so I am not worried about that aspect.  I might bang them out tomorrow really, since I am home from work with my flexed holiday.

I have my second class tonight, which was recommended to me by Zenkov (The most amazing Professor to have ever lived) so I am sure it will be at least captivating.  The one saving grace I have for this semester is that my classes are from 4:30 – 7:10.  SO AT LEAST I’m not getting out at 10:00 pm and then getting home close to 11, and then winding down by midnight and waking up at 6:00 am.

So far I am kind of “Eh” about this semester.  I met some people last night that kind of worry me about what I am getting myself into, and I am still unsure about how to go about actually getting through this.  Frankly, if I pass the Praxis this February (you know the 4th time I’ve taken it) then I figure I can do anything.  But I am not very confident in that respect.  I am also really scared of not passing, and then never passing, and jumping off a bridge.

But one step at a time.

I’m fully tracked for the day, and looking at food and food intake as something I can control.  I didn’t workout yesterday, as my legs were sore, and my heart wasn’t in it.  I doubt I’ll get the chance to workout today as I won’t get home till about 7:45 – 8:00 pm and by then exhaustion will have set in.  I plan on 5 miles tomorrow morning, and then a weight workout just to get me back into the groove of two a day workouts.  I notice I feel more empowered when I bust through those.  I am exhausted, but empowered.

My races are coming up quick, so it’s time to kick it into full gear.  As long as the sidewalks are clear this weekend, I’m doing 8 miles.  There.  I said it.  So I must do it.

xoxoxoxoxox