WW Trick #2 – Mental Talk Through and Physical Action


One of my biggest problems is night eating.  We are watching TV or doing something that is relaxing and all I want is popcorn, ice cream, candy, chips, etc.  Last night was no different.  This is how I now navigate it:

  • Don’t have the stuff in the house.
    • This is a big one.  I don’t have chips, ice cream, etc. in my house because I know what will happen.  I will eat them, all, in one sitting.  It’s a lot easier to not have it in the house because you have to make the effort to go out and get something.  I know for me, that when it means getting up, putting on shoes (and let’s be honest, a bra) and driving somewhere, I can usually talk myself out of it.  Now, if Jason wants to go, that’s a different story.
  • Track it before you Snack it.
    • If I desperately want something I look it up in the tracker and decide if it’s worth the points.  Now if I have no daily points left over, I weigh that in as well.  I don’t like just using Weekly Points or Activity points on unplanned things because that is a slippery slope to go down.  So if I have the points and I really want it, I’ll get it.
  • Are you Thirsty?
    • A lot of the time I am just thirsty and not hungry.  It’s hard to tell this since I am constantly craving sweets, but alas, most of the time a big glass of water does the trick.  Also, take a bit of a walk.  I went for a walk during work yesterday and it completely fixed my craving.  I just wanted to get up from my desk, not eat a candy bar.
  • Find humor In All things
    Weight loss humor~
  • Exercise is Important
    • You need to move.  I don’t care what you do.  You could do Yoga on a treadmill while punch a bag (I don’t suggest this, but you get the point) as long as you are moving.  Yes you can lose weight by just changing your eating habits, but exercise is good not only for the body, but the soul.  Sweating is therapy.  Being sore is working through things.  The elation afterward is your reward.  Do I like exercising?  When I’m done, I do.  I like the idea of running, but when I am running I hate life.
  • ….but eating is importanter
    • Yes I know that is not a word.  You can’t out-train a bad diet.  You can’t eat crap and then workout and expect to lose weight.  AT BEST you will maintain (Hello, I’m this person over the last year).  You have to do things in moderation.  If you don’t follow Weight Watchers, use your own program.  BUT FOLLOW IT.  this doesn’t mean you can’t indulge.  You just can indulge 100% of the time.

These are some of my “breakthroughs” over the past week – something that has been building over the past years of trying to lose weight, only now, I’m actually listening.

Goodbye April/May Goals


This month has not been kind.  I have made some pretty poor choices and they kicked me in the butt.  I am attempting to make May the exact opposite and work towards a better me.  I think that the trip to Italy in a few weeks will aide in this, or it will make it worse if I come back 20 pounds heavier (That’s not the goal).

I felt pretty good about myself this week so far (well Monday and Tuesday at least).  I did Yoga Inferno via Jillian Michaels on Monday and my abs are still screaming.  Well, my abs that are underneath my pooch and stomach flab, they are screaming.  The fat is just like “I look weird when you do planks”.

30 Days of Weight Loss Humor, Day 6 - "DEATH to CARBS!"

Yesterday I ran on the dreadmill and managed to eek out 3 miles.  I figured that after not running for a week I’d be fresh and good to go – hah.  That never happens.

I’m still bummed about the Nike Half Marathon.  Like really bummed.  If I think about it long enough I actually tear up a bit.  I hate that my stupidity made that happen.

But on to the good things this month:

  • I am blessed with a great group at school for our final project.  It has gone swimmingly.
  • The big milestone meeting at work went well – in my mind – and everyone seemed to exit the room at least with a hint that we are on the right track.  Plus my slides were almost perfect.  No complaints from management for the most part.
  • I hung out with a friend from work (Forcing friendship!) in order to break out of my constant shell of just watching Netflix (although, there is nothing wrong with that).
  • I ran a 10 miler on the 6th that although wasn’t my best time, was a great route and I had so much fun.
  • I’m finishing up 1 of 2 classes today for my masters – and my last in class session for this program.  It’s scary to think that I will have a higher education degree soon.  The idea of a PhD is getting closer and closer.
  • We found and decided on getting another dog who will be coming home this weekend!  I’ll post pictures!

I am attempting to focus on the positive, and while that will be an interesting change of pace… I think it’s doable.

May Goals

  • Exercise in some way shape or form 5 days a week (Italy time will consist of walking everywhere… so that shouldn’t be hard.  Debating on buying a fitbit to measure all that)
  • Be more aware of what I am eating and make better choices (it’s hard to measure this, yes, but I think just staying within my points will be sufficient)
  • Lose Weight (Not a particular number, but I will weigh myself tomorrow, and will aim to be less than that come May 31)
  • Be more positive at work (Hah.  I think my coworkers will think I am on drugs, but oh well)
  • Run the Mother’s Day 4-Miler and may be not PR but do your best.

Defeating the Scale Tuesday – Week 7


  • Starting Weight: 190.8 pounds
  • Current Weight: 193.0
  • Week Difference: +1.6
  • Total Difference: +2.0
  • Emotion: Over it

I just, I can’t.  I can’t keep doing this.  I can’t keep letting myself down.  It has no explanation or excuse except I didn’t do it.  This isn’t because my body holds on to weight, or that I am bloated, or that it’s muscle over fat.

It’s that I just didn’t do it.

The scale number has come and gone, and I am just irking up closer to my weight when I started this whole thing 6 years ago.

I never really cared enough in high school to try and lose weight.  I figured that it wouldn’t happen because I wasn’t born that way, I wasn’t athletic, and well sitting in a parking lot eating taco bell and doing other destructive things to my body isn’t conducive to weight loss.

So what’s the plan?

I don’t have one.

The Before and After Weight loss Photos or Pictures by xyngitoff weight loss by vi vi90daychallengeI have no excuse.  “I can’t do it” is not true.  I can, and have before.  I am 20 pounds (TWENTY) pounds heavier than my lowest adult weight.  That was May 25, 2012.

I look back at that and think “GOD I WAS SO FAT”.

It’s depressing.

June 2012 – Not fat

I can’t fit into those pants now.  That shirt barely stays down because my stomach makes it roll up.

I would never wear something sleeveless now.

March 2012 – Not fat

April 2014 – May be not fat, but sure as heck not happy, not where I want to be

I think it’s a weird balance to strike.  I think that we will always seek improvement of ourselves, which is fine, but there needs to be a point of contentment or at least acceptance.

It’s no shocker that I am in therapy, and something she said last night was a real ‘A-ha’ moment, that I have to say people have told me before, but not as bluntly.

“You think you are the Queen of F***** Up.  Well I have news for you.  I’ve seen A LOT worse.  You aren’t even in the top 50%.  In comparison, you are not even bad.  You just think you are because you do nothing but compare yourself.  You compare yourself to the coworkers you have, the woman you see on the street, Kate Middleton, etc.  But what you don’t realize is NONE OF THEM are 100% happy.  If they say they are 100% happy with themselves and every aspect of their lives all the time, they are lying.  We all have insecurities, and we all have low points.  So yes, you might have more than some people, but you are still here.  You can change, but first you need to stop feeling so sorry for yourself and grow a pair.”

Harsh? May be.  What I needed?  I think so.

So on to another week.

 

 

Learning From Mistakes


“Failure is not something that you are, it’s something that you do.”  – I can’t remember who wrote this and google isn’t helping.

What a concept.  What a truth.

I am not a failure for my mistakes.  I have failed in the past.  The point is, what I learned from it.  The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.

I do this too.

So I fail at things and I am insane.

I can work with that.

Step 1 – What’s not Working?

I can’t have ice cream, chips, crackers, cookies, 100 calorie packs, etc in the house without overeating, and overeating hard.  Except every week at the grocery store, these items make it into my cart.  WHY?  because I am a glutton for punishment?  Because I don’t actually want to lose weight?  because I don’t have control?

That is all B.S.

I do have control.  I am a strong person who doesn’t need that cupcake, that milkshake, that frap from starbucks, the box of cereal, the 1/2 gallon of ice cream, or that 4th beer.

Okay sometimes I need the 4th beer.

I can’t keep eating the way I’ve been eating and expect things to change.

Step 2 – Removing the Problems

It’s easy to say “I won’t buy that stuff” but when I am at work with a cafe downstairs, a candy jar on my bosses desk, and people constantly bringing in delicious homemade items, it’s hard to stay accountable.

Untitled

So how do I do this?  Plan plan plan.  Bring snacks with me to work that are healthy – fruit, veggies, protein bars, chug water, lots of water.  STAY OUT OF THE WORK KITCHEN.  I don’t even put my lunch there, so why am I constantly venturing back there?  IN HOPE SOMEONE HAS DROPPED FOOD.

I’m like a dog really.

Step 3- You will slip up, so don’t beat yourself up

When I do slip up, which will happen, I can’t beat myself up about it, and I sure as heck can’t throw in the towel and say “I’ll start again tomorrow” I’m starting now.  Today I pack my breakfast, snacks, and lunch all up for me to bring to work.  I have confidently walked past the candy jar 3 times and not even looked at it (Okay I looked once).

I saw the scary number on the scale, and I thought that would shove me in the right direction, but instead I just got comfortable with it.  I got used to seeing the number on the scale and stopped letting it bother me.  Instead I would just blame myself and state that I am too weak to lose weight, and it will never happen.

That needs to stop.  Yes, it’s my fault, but those bad decisions don’t define me.  I need to grow up.

Step 4 – Stop Chasing My Tail

I just run.  All I do is run.  All I do is run and run and run.  At first I was like “BOOM LOSING WEIGHT!” then I was like “Man I am hungry ALL THE TIME.”  Then I was like “Oh I can eat whatever the heck I want because I ran X miles today!  BRING ON THE SHEET CAKE!”

Oh that doesn’t work, does it?

So I was running like a crazy person, eating like a crazy person, and then running more to burn off the food, which would then make me eat more.

Hello Plateau.

I pretty much went between the same 5 pounds for the past 6 months.  Well how am I going to fix this?  I’m running 3 races in the next 6 weeks, and running a bunch in the fall – INCLUDING A MARATHON.

easy peasy.  I’m adding in other workouts.  I’ve started my DVD collection again.  Dusted off some Bob Harper, some Jillian Michaels, some Firm DVDs, and I am getting to it.  I plan one rotating them so I don’t get bored or too used to one over the other.  I have the Biggest Loser Bootcamp which I talked about before (that kicked my butt).  I have the Firm Strength Training DVD (which always kicks my butt).  I also just got Jillian Michaels Kickbox Fast Fix – while I know it will not be a fast transition from flab to fab, I like the motivation it gives.

Step 5 – Rinse and Repeat

I will have good days, and bad days.  Heck, I might have GREAT days.  I might also have HORRIBLE days.  That is life.  So instead of dwelling on the horrible days, and the problems, I’ll hold on to the good days.  I’ll use those as motivation.  I’ll keep going with those.

 

Today:

B: 2 eggs, 3 strips of bacon, coffee, and a banana

S: Orange

L: Wrap with turkey, provolone, onion and grain mustard; yogurt; diced pears; carrots

S: Quest Nutrition Bar

D: Where ever I go it will be a salad with protein

Activity: 4 mile run & 20 push ups

Biggest Loser Boot Camp DVD (I heart you Bob Harper)


I didn’t want to run last night, and the idea of just strength training from a book made me bored, so I looked through my stack of Workout DVDs.  Not wanting to be yelled at (Ahem, Jillian), I opted for the Biggest Loser Boot Camp DVD with Bob Harper.  I really enjoy these DVDs because they have people who haven’t completed their weight loss journeys, and also have people who are maintaining.  It’s more realistic and less intimidating.

There are 3 workouts (20, 15, and 10 minutes in length) plus a 5 minute warm up and cool down.  I opted for the 20 minute and 15 minute workout with the warm up and cool down to give myself a 45 minute workout.  I had never actually used this DVD (weird) so I wasn’t sure what to expect.

You do everything in this workout and you are screaming at the end.

I had to stop a lot during the second workout, my arms were screaming and I was only using 8 pound weights.  This DVD made me feel WEAK.  Which is good.  It has some cardio intervals, but the emphasis is on body weight and strength strength training.  I really enjoyed it, and am looking forward to doing it again.  I plan on this being my workout twice a week along with running 3 times a week.

Menu:

  • Breakfast – 2 eggs, bacon, coffee, and half and half (6p+)
  • Snack – Orange (0p+)
  • Lunch – Flatout wrap, turkey, provolone, mustard and onion (7p+), yogurt (3p+), Carrots (0p+), Diced Pears in juice (2p+)
  • Snack – Before Class Banana and apple (0p+), during class Coffee (3P+) and Quest Bar (5P+)
  • Dinner – Black Bean Avocado Salad (Black beans, avocado, cherry tomatoes, onion, bell pepper, lime juice, cilantro, corn, romaine lettuce) (7p+)

No activity today because I have class this evening.  I can’t believe after this week, I’ll have 5 weeks left in the semester.  Lordy lou.  It went by quick!

I’m also looking forward to not taking classes this summer.  I am, however, trying to figure out how I can go about getting some certificates with regards to my Masters.  I know Jason is reading this watching his money fly away thinking of it… Especially since I am looking at PhD programs too….. Sorry hunny!

I hope you all have a blessed day!  I’m gearing up for races in April, and scared to death about running another half marathon so close to the one I just did.  I guess that’s good for marathon training right?

xoxoxox

Defeating the Scale Tuesday – Week 3 – Standstill


I already knew this secret.  Someday, I am going to try it,  I swear I am.  Just as soon as I finish pinning 100 more fabulous desserts!!!!!!

  • Starting Weight: 190.8 pounds
  • Current Weight: 190.6
  • Week Difference: 0
  • Total Difference: -0.2
  • Emotion: Motivation?

I was surprised that I didn’t gain this week, but also, as usual I was upset that I didn’t lose either.  I do realize that a lot of my weight at this point isn’t just fat, but muscle.  My calves are pretty tight and hard and so are my hamstrings.  I guess if I didn’t feel like an Ox barreling down the hallway when I walk at work, the number on the scale wouldn’t matter so much.

Buy, hey look, it does.

I ran my 7 miles yesterday which was painful and horrible and I hate treadmills.  I think I am developing a hate of running because of treadmills.  I don’t hate it when I am outside or when I am in a race (except for the last mile) so it has to be the treadmill.  I feel weak on it.  My legs and shins start to scream on it.  I think I have found the solution to my own problem.

Today I didn’t really have a workout planned so much as I was going to see how I felt at the end of the day and go from there.  I think I might do some HIIT and arm exercises but without a plan in front of me I look dumb just going through random exercises.  Ugh.

Maybe I’ll do a workout from Drop 2 Sizes and then sprints on the treadmill.  hmmm.

Food Today:

  • B – 2 eggs, 3 strips of bacon, coffee & fat free half and half (6p+)
  • Snack – Orange (0p+)
  • Lunch – Chipotle Salad – Lettuce, Brown Rice, Pinto Beans, Veggies, medium salsa (5p+)
  • Snack – Apple, Banana (0p+) or Quest Nutrition Bar (5p+)
  • Dinner – Gluten free pasta, Ground beef, pasta sauce (12p+)

weight loss motivation | Weight Loss Motivation (Part2) | waysforweightloss

I Got a PW at my Race; Working at Home; Need to get My Ish Together


I got a PW (Personal worst) at my race on Saturday

I was not really prepared going into this race.  I knew that the night before.  I was also not feeling mentally okay the night before or the morning of.  I was nervous about this race, and it wasn’t until I actually started running that I felt good.  I felt great walking through the water stops, and then running while pacing myself through the first 5.5 miles.  Then the bitch of a hill showed up.

Calvert St. leaving Rock Creek Park.

Horrible.

My legs felt shredded and like lead after 9 miles.  BUT they did tick away pretty quickly.  I was kind of shocked how the mile markers never felt too far apart.  I felt strong during it, but my endurance seemed to pretty much suck.  I think that is mainly because of my lack of outdoor runs.  I need and will get back outside this weekend…

Working From Home

…If the snow melts.  Yes.  WE GOT MORE SNOW.  I’m so sick of this.  SO SICK OF THIS.  I’m just happy I have the ability to work from home, so I don’t have to take vacation.  Plus if there was ever a Monday where I needed to take the day off, it would have been today.  My legs still feel pretty shredded from the race, so I plan on doing an easy run later and some strength training.  I need to build up glute and hamstring strength – that is the only way that I am going to get better and faster.  I’d like to build up that strength before the massive training begins with the Marathon and all.  So I’m listening this time, and doing strength training as well as cross training that is not slow running.

Need to Get My Ish Together

I’m the Queen of excuses.  I’m the Queen of tomorrows.  I’m the Queen of “I’ve already screwed up”.  Now I am taking on the title of Queen of One day at a time.  I’m taking everything one step at a time, and going from there.  I’ve pre-tracked today and I hope that helps me stick to things.

I need to stop acting like what I have done up to this point is what I can continue to do and get the results I want.  I have to change to get change.  I have to make the choices that need to happen to evoke the change I want.  I have to decide that this is what I want and then go for it.

Today: 2-3 miles easy run, strength training (lower body)

Let’s do this.

Doesn’t Deserve a Title Apparently


70% FUNDED FOR THE MARINE CORPS MARATHON!

Thank you to all who have donated thus far.  It’s an amazing feeling to know that you all are supporting me and the animals with such a generous action.  Love to you all.

                                             Haven’t donated and want to?  Or feel guilt for not doing it?  Want a Tax deduction?                                                    Bethany’s Donation Page

Happy Friday guys!  We made it!  My hip is a lot better today – just in time for the Ortho Appointment.  I’m cautiously optimistic about this appointment, but have decided that I will not be exercising today.  I most likely will not workout at all till my race on Sunday.  I know this is so unlike me, but I want to go in strong, rested, and recuperated.

This could all blow up in my face, but eh.  I’m willing to take that risk.

My husband was in a fender bender this morning, and thankfully he is fine – I attribute his fine-ness to the fact that he is in a Subaru.  The car that is just amazing at everything.  I will be buying one the minute I can.

I purchased some casual dresses this morning, in hopes of becoming female this year…

I really like both of them, and got them both on sale – YAY COUPONS – and I hope they BOTH work out.  I’d love to be able to throw on a cardigan or blazer and have a cute work outfit that can transition to happy hour outfit easily.  How complete Cosmo does that sound?

I’m also embracing the fact that my thighs are just gonna get bigger as my training continues.  When I was training for my first half my thighs got bigger and more toned, and my calves got smallish (not really) and more toned.  I’m just never going to have slim legs, and that’s fine.  I’ll most likely have to sell all the skinny jeans without stretch that I bought for when I lose weight, because there is no way they are going to fit over these hamstrings.

The little issues.

@Amanda Farris : I laughed out loud when I saw this because I thought it would be perfect for Eric! Good thing he didn't get lost during the marathon or this would be him! ;)

Legit Fear Of Mine

I’m beginning (Prelim stages folks) to accept things about myself at this point.  I looked in the mirror this morning and noted how great my butt looks in these jeans.  Now granted, I am bias, because I love these jeans, but I don’t love my butt.  Except for today!  I also noticed how my skin is clearing up – FINALLY.  Being almost 30 with acne sucks – so that is a plus.  My hair is starting to go back to normal with a little help of sea salt spray, so i’m happy about that.  I’m just not giving up.

Running Humor: My mom told me I can be anything I want to if I put my mind to it....

Happy Friday Folks!

Don’t forget to donate!!!

Day 1 of Not Giving Up


I know I shouldn’t weigh myself everyday or be a slave to the scale, but I was happy to see a dip this morning from yesterday.  It keeps me motivated.  I’m totally fine with doing this my own way this go around and not falling into the “What’s the newest and most innovative diet out there??” I’m just trying to be clean, Gluten Free, and full.  If I achieve those things, then I am golden.  I went to bed early last night to evade the temptation of eating.

I got more sleep, and felt better this morning than I have in a while, and I didn’t eat needless food.  I call this a win.

My run yesterday wasn’t very good.  My hip started acting up again and it made me have to jump off a few times.  I’ve decided to take today off and stretch/yoga and tomorrow I am resting completely with some stretching before bed.  I have to walk across campus to class, so that will count as my workout.  It’s about 3/4 of a mile one way, so it will at least get my legs loose.

I need to know when to rest, and even though it’s a massive worry, I think that after resting I will be good.  I did this last week and it went fine.  It was only when I over did it that I noticed the pain coming back.  So for now, it’s extra protein, water, tylenol, and icey hot.  Sorry for the menthol smell.

Fundraising

I’m at 61% ya’ll!!! In 7 DAYS!  That is amazing.  I am hoping to beat my goal of $1000.00 but I still need help.  As a loyal reader, if you could find it in your heart and wallet to support me (even with $5.00) it would mean so much to me.  I am in the process of coming up with a thank you gift for everyone that donates – SO DON’T MISS OUT!

Mental Stability

I’m getting there.  I will get there.  I looked at myself this morning and saw something I hadn’t seen in a while.  I saw acceptance.  Yes, I have cellulite.  Unless I get Lipo from the guys on Nip/Tuck it will always be there in some form.  Yes I have stretch marks.  They will be battle wounds that I earned.  I will look at them and remember how far I have come.  I have clothes that don’t fit now, which means they will fit soon, and I will look great in them.

Finally Friday


We made it folks.  It’s Friday.

 

Myself and Lisa at Oyamel

Myself and Lisa at Oyamel

We started the celebrations last night at the Bon Voyage Party for Lisa who is heading back to Sweden today.  This of course saddens me, but, we tried to make up for it with drinks.

1621788_10101445631504827_497119865_nHEYO.  Pomegranate Margarita’s at  Oyamel in DC have got to be one of the best drinks I’ve ever had.  EVER.  I had two.  After two vodka drinks at dinner.  Needless to say, I ‘m a bit slow moving this morning.

After not running for 3 days, I feel strong and well enough to tackle my 9 miles today.  I wish there was a bit more snow melt outside, which would mean I could run outside, but there aren’t enough cleared sidewalks, and after all these car accidents with runners and cyclists, I am a bit weary of trying.  So the treadmill it is.

Speaking of running…

994049_10151696763731892_2071878291_nI’M RUNNING THE MARINE CORPS MARATHON IN OCTOBER OF THIS YEAR!

I’m running on behalf of the Washington Human Society to raise money to help the shelter help animals, because I can’t do this to everyone:

1506410_514527558664824_1268964027_n

So there is this!  I’m in the process of raising money for this charity while beginning my training.  It will start hardcore once the half marathons are over.  I’m not looking forward to the hot summer training but that just means I’ll have to get up early on Saturdays to get my runs over with!  Another perk!  I’ll have to go to bed early on Fridays and clean up my act when it comes to eating, all things that will benefit me.

But I need help.

If you can donate, even a little bit, I would be most grateful.  If you can’t donate, please pray and send good training and running thoughts my way.  It would be most appreciated.

http://support.washhumane.org/goto/BeBegetsWordy

xoxox and Happy Weekend!