Defeating the Scale Tuesday – Week 7


  • Starting Weight: 190.8 pounds
  • Current Weight: 193.0
  • Week Difference: +1.6
  • Total Difference: +2.0
  • Emotion: Over it

I just, I can’t.  I can’t keep doing this.  I can’t keep letting myself down.  It has no explanation or excuse except I didn’t do it.  This isn’t because my body holds on to weight, or that I am bloated, or that it’s muscle over fat.

It’s that I just didn’t do it.

The scale number has come and gone, and I am just irking up closer to my weight when I started this whole thing 6 years ago.

I never really cared enough in high school to try and lose weight.  I figured that it wouldn’t happen because I wasn’t born that way, I wasn’t athletic, and well sitting in a parking lot eating taco bell and doing other destructive things to my body isn’t conducive to weight loss.

So what’s the plan?

I don’t have one.

The Before and After Weight loss Photos or Pictures by xyngitoff weight loss by vi vi90daychallengeI have no excuse.  “I can’t do it” is not true.  I can, and have before.  I am 20 pounds (TWENTY) pounds heavier than my lowest adult weight.  That was May 25, 2012.

I look back at that and think “GOD I WAS SO FAT”.

It’s depressing.

June 2012 – Not fat

I can’t fit into those pants now.  That shirt barely stays down because my stomach makes it roll up.

I would never wear something sleeveless now.

March 2012 – Not fat

April 2014 – May be not fat, but sure as heck not happy, not where I want to be

I think it’s a weird balance to strike.  I think that we will always seek improvement of ourselves, which is fine, but there needs to be a point of contentment or at least acceptance.

It’s no shocker that I am in therapy, and something she said last night was a real ‘A-ha’ moment, that I have to say people have told me before, but not as bluntly.

“You think you are the Queen of F***** Up.  Well I have news for you.  I’ve seen A LOT worse.  You aren’t even in the top 50%.  In comparison, you are not even bad.  You just think you are because you do nothing but compare yourself.  You compare yourself to the coworkers you have, the woman you see on the street, Kate Middleton, etc.  But what you don’t realize is NONE OF THEM are 100% happy.  If they say they are 100% happy with themselves and every aspect of their lives all the time, they are lying.  We all have insecurities, and we all have low points.  So yes, you might have more than some people, but you are still here.  You can change, but first you need to stop feeling so sorry for yourself and grow a pair.”

Harsh? May be.  What I needed?  I think so.

So on to another week.

 

 

Defeating the Scale Tuesday – Week 5 – Is It Failure?


  • Starting Weight: 190.8 pounds
  • Current Weight: 192.2
  • Week Difference: +0.8
  • Total Difference: +1.2
  • Emotion: So what happened was…

It’s not failure if you continue to try, but, what if you stop trying?

I ran 19.3 miles last week including my 10 mile race.  I was eating everything I wanted.  I figured that my running would cancel it all out – like I always do.  I drank some extra water, ate some more fruit, and then made too many trips to the cafe, too many excuses that I could eat more than the serving size, and only tracked what I felt comfortable tracking.

We went to the brewery this weekend, and while I composed myself and didn’t drink to excess, I could have only gone one day.  I could have taken better care of myself.  I could have.  I would have.  I should have.

Could’a, Would’a, Should’a.  But didn’t.

I look at all the women and men who are successful and I wonder what is different with me.  It’s not my metabolism, it’s not the exercise.  It’s the motivation.

It’s the belief that I am worth it enough to not let food control me.  To not turn to food or drinks to silence the demons in my head.

Being bipolar shouldn’t matter with regards to my weight loss, but it does.  While I am working with a doctor to get my meds straight and on the right levels, I am self medicating for what they aren’t doing.  I’m restless, and bored, so I eat.  I find a new recipe so I bake, and then of course I have to try it, which then turns into half of whatever I made.  I like trying new beers – something I never really liked (I used to hate beer) because my husband and dad like doing it, and it was a way to enjoy time with them.  Kind of like Baseball – never was a fan, until I saw my dad was.

I am not blaming anyone for my actions in any regard.  I now enjoy baseball (A lot) and I enjoy beer (too much).

Jason mentioned yesterday that he felt this was getting out of hand – mostly for the money aspect – it ain’t cheap.  I agreed.

My world seems to teeter on the edge of being completely out of control, and being  completely numb.  Being diagnosed Bipolar was not a shock to me, but at the same time, it never felt real.  I look back at high school with every stupid thing I did as a way to stop the pain.

Now, that I am not part of that lifestyle anymore, I’ve been using food.  I did so well, losing 40 pounds and being in the best shape of my life a few years ago.  Somehow without realizing what was happening, it started to come back.  I’m up 20 pounds from where I was 2 years ago, and that is so sad.  I can’t believe I thought I was fat then.  I look at those pictures and think “Man.  I was freaking hot.”

So now what?

I’m not sure.  I could say I’m going to be better this week, and I will make the effort.  I could say “I’m not sure.”  Or I could do nothing and let my actions speak for themselves.

 

Race Recap: Credit Union Cherry Blossom 10 Miler


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Oh 4:30 am came quickly on Sunday.  We got up got ready and left for the Metro.  I don’t know what I did to deserve such an awesome man who will willingly wake up early for me so I can go run random distances.

We show up at the start area with a good amount of time so I head to the port-o potties and wait fro 20 minutes to use the most disgusting bathroom ever.  I’ve been in many a port-o potty before but this was horrid.

I walked over to my corral (green) and lined up inside.  Kissed Jason goodbye and then lost him in the crowd.  Once the race began I felt pretty good.  I ran through the first 5 miles with ease ( 15 st wrapping around the traffic circle at 23rd and crossing the memorial bridge.  We wrapped around the traffic circle at the memorial bride and headed down Rock Creek Parkway before turning around at F street and looping back down Ohio Drive before jumping back and then crossing Independence avenue.)

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I lost my speed and endurance at this point so I slowed and walked a lot.  We headed down East Basin Drive picking up Ohio Drive again to go allllll the way down through Haines Point (West Potomac Park) and then wrapping back around.  We hit of East Basin Drive again before running up Raoul Wallenberg road to the finish.

While the course wasn’t very hilly, because of my lack of outdoor runs it felt long.  I felt weak.  I know that before the Nike Women’s Half at the end of the month, I need to get my butt in gear.

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Great medal, nice course, kind of want to do it again next year.

Place Name Bib Age Div Place Gender Place 5 Mile Split 10k Split Clock Time Net Time Pace Hometown
14887 BETHANY BURROUGHS 17254 29 2256 8317 56:08 1:09:46 2:15:22 1:54:29 11:26.8 MANASSAS, VA

 

Learning From Mistakes


“Failure is not something that you are, it’s something that you do.”  - I can’t remember who wrote this and google isn’t helping.

What a concept.  What a truth.

I am not a failure for my mistakes.  I have failed in the past.  The point is, what I learned from it.  The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.

I do this too.

So I fail at things and I am insane.

I can work with that.

Step 1 – What’s not Working?

I can’t have ice cream, chips, crackers, cookies, 100 calorie packs, etc in the house without overeating, and overeating hard.  Except every week at the grocery store, these items make it into my cart.  WHY?  because I am a glutton for punishment?  Because I don’t actually want to lose weight?  because I don’t have control?

That is all B.S.

I do have control.  I am a strong person who doesn’t need that cupcake, that milkshake, that frap from starbucks, the box of cereal, the 1/2 gallon of ice cream, or that 4th beer.

Okay sometimes I need the 4th beer.

I can’t keep eating the way I’ve been eating and expect things to change.

Step 2 – Removing the Problems

It’s easy to say “I won’t buy that stuff” but when I am at work with a cafe downstairs, a candy jar on my bosses desk, and people constantly bringing in delicious homemade items, it’s hard to stay accountable.

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So how do I do this?  Plan plan plan.  Bring snacks with me to work that are healthy – fruit, veggies, protein bars, chug water, lots of water.  STAY OUT OF THE WORK KITCHEN.  I don’t even put my lunch there, so why am I constantly venturing back there?  IN HOPE SOMEONE HAS DROPPED FOOD.

I’m like a dog really.

Step 3- You will slip up, so don’t beat yourself up

When I do slip up, which will happen, I can’t beat myself up about it, and I sure as heck can’t throw in the towel and say “I’ll start again tomorrow” I’m starting now.  Today I pack my breakfast, snacks, and lunch all up for me to bring to work.  I have confidently walked past the candy jar 3 times and not even looked at it (Okay I looked once).

I saw the scary number on the scale, and I thought that would shove me in the right direction, but instead I just got comfortable with it.  I got used to seeing the number on the scale and stopped letting it bother me.  Instead I would just blame myself and state that I am too weak to lose weight, and it will never happen.

That needs to stop.  Yes, it’s my fault, but those bad decisions don’t define me.  I need to grow up.

Step 4 – Stop Chasing My Tail

I just run.  All I do is run.  All I do is run and run and run.  At first I was like “BOOM LOSING WEIGHT!” then I was like “Man I am hungry ALL THE TIME.”  Then I was like “Oh I can eat whatever the heck I want because I ran X miles today!  BRING ON THE SHEET CAKE!”

Oh that doesn’t work, does it?

So I was running like a crazy person, eating like a crazy person, and then running more to burn off the food, which would then make me eat more.

Hello Plateau.

I pretty much went between the same 5 pounds for the past 6 months.  Well how am I going to fix this?  I’m running 3 races in the next 6 weeks, and running a bunch in the fall – INCLUDING A MARATHON.

easy peasy.  I’m adding in other workouts.  I’ve started my DVD collection again.  Dusted off some Bob Harper, some Jillian Michaels, some Firm DVDs, and I am getting to it.  I plan one rotating them so I don’t get bored or too used to one over the other.  I have the Biggest Loser Bootcamp which I talked about before (that kicked my butt).  I have the Firm Strength Training DVD (which always kicks my butt).  I also just got Jillian Michaels Kickbox Fast Fix – while I know it will not be a fast transition from flab to fab, I like the motivation it gives.

Step 5 – Rinse and Repeat

I will have good days, and bad days.  Heck, I might have GREAT days.  I might also have HORRIBLE days.  That is life.  So instead of dwelling on the horrible days, and the problems, I’ll hold on to the good days.  I’ll use those as motivation.  I’ll keep going with those.

 

Today:

B: 2 eggs, 3 strips of bacon, coffee, and a banana

S: Orange

L: Wrap with turkey, provolone, onion and grain mustard; yogurt; diced pears; carrots

S: Quest Nutrition Bar

D: Where ever I go it will be a salad with protein

Activity: 4 mile run & 20 push ups

Biggest Loser Boot Camp DVD (I heart you Bob Harper)


I didn’t want to run last night, and the idea of just strength training from a book made me bored, so I looked through my stack of Workout DVDs.  Not wanting to be yelled at (Ahem, Jillian), I opted for the Biggest Loser Boot Camp DVD with Bob Harper.  I really enjoy these DVDs because they have people who haven’t completed their weight loss journeys, and also have people who are maintaining.  It’s more realistic and less intimidating.

There are 3 workouts (20, 15, and 10 minutes in length) plus a 5 minute warm up and cool down.  I opted for the 20 minute and 15 minute workout with the warm up and cool down to give myself a 45 minute workout.  I had never actually used this DVD (weird) so I wasn’t sure what to expect.

You do everything in this workout and you are screaming at the end.

I had to stop a lot during the second workout, my arms were screaming and I was only using 8 pound weights.  This DVD made me feel WEAK.  Which is good.  It has some cardio intervals, but the emphasis is on body weight and strength strength training.  I really enjoyed it, and am looking forward to doing it again.  I plan on this being my workout twice a week along with running 3 times a week.

Menu:

  • Breakfast – 2 eggs, bacon, coffee, and half and half (6p+)
  • Snack – Orange (0p+)
  • Lunch – Flatout wrap, turkey, provolone, mustard and onion (7p+), yogurt (3p+), Carrots (0p+), Diced Pears in juice (2p+)
  • Snack – Before Class Banana and apple (0p+), during class Coffee (3P+) and Quest Bar (5P+)
  • Dinner – Black Bean Avocado Salad (Black beans, avocado, cherry tomatoes, onion, bell pepper, lime juice, cilantro, corn, romaine lettuce) (7p+)

No activity today because I have class this evening.  I can’t believe after this week, I’ll have 5 weeks left in the semester.  Lordy lou.  It went by quick!

I’m also looking forward to not taking classes this summer.  I am, however, trying to figure out how I can go about getting some certificates with regards to my Masters.  I know Jason is reading this watching his money fly away thinking of it… Especially since I am looking at PhD programs too….. Sorry hunny!

I hope you all have a blessed day!  I’m gearing up for races in April, and scared to death about running another half marathon so close to the one I just did.  I guess that’s good for marathon training right?

xoxoxox

Defeating the Scale Tuesday – Week 3 – Standstill


I already knew this secret.  Someday, I am going to try it,  I swear I am.  Just as soon as I finish pinning 100 more fabulous desserts!!!!!!

  • Starting Weight: 190.8 pounds
  • Current Weight: 190.6
  • Week Difference: 0
  • Total Difference: -0.2
  • Emotion: Motivation?

I was surprised that I didn’t gain this week, but also, as usual I was upset that I didn’t lose either.  I do realize that a lot of my weight at this point isn’t just fat, but muscle.  My calves are pretty tight and hard and so are my hamstrings.  I guess if I didn’t feel like an Ox barreling down the hallway when I walk at work, the number on the scale wouldn’t matter so much.

Buy, hey look, it does.

I ran my 7 miles yesterday which was painful and horrible and I hate treadmills.  I think I am developing a hate of running because of treadmills.  I don’t hate it when I am outside or when I am in a race (except for the last mile) so it has to be the treadmill.  I feel weak on it.  My legs and shins start to scream on it.  I think I have found the solution to my own problem.

Today I didn’t really have a workout planned so much as I was going to see how I felt at the end of the day and go from there.  I think I might do some HIIT and arm exercises but without a plan in front of me I look dumb just going through random exercises.  Ugh.

Maybe I’ll do a workout from Drop 2 Sizes and then sprints on the treadmill.  hmmm.

Food Today:

  • B – 2 eggs, 3 strips of bacon, coffee & fat free half and half (6p+)
  • Snack – Orange (0p+)
  • Lunch – Chipotle Salad – Lettuce, Brown Rice, Pinto Beans, Veggies, medium salsa (5p+)
  • Snack – Apple, Banana (0p+) or Quest Nutrition Bar (5p+)
  • Dinner – Gluten free pasta, Ground beef, pasta sauce (12p+)

weight loss motivation | Weight Loss Motivation (Part2) | waysforweightloss

Defeating the Scale Tuesday – Week 1


  • Starting Weight: 190.8 pounds
  • Current Weight: 188.8 pounds
  • Difference: -2.0 pounds
  • Emotion: Starting Over Looks Good On Me

WOW that was hard to type.  That’s my weight y’all.  Eep.

My goal weight is still up in the air, I’m thinking 155-165? Who knows.  I think it will depend on what happens when I get to those numbers, which I will.

I’m tracking, and picking good choices, and am working on making these things a priority.

Weekly Plan:

Exercise

  • Tuesday – 3.1 mile run
  • Wednesday – 3.1 mile run
  • Thursday – 3.1 mile run
  • Friday – Rest
  • Saturday – Rock n’ Roll Half Marathon
  • Sunday – Rest
  • Monday – 3.1 mile run

Dinners

  • Tuesday – Guilt Free Fried Rice with Chicken
  • Wednesday – Gluten Free Pasta with Meat Sauce
  • Thursday – Greek Salad
  • Friday – Eh, something carby
  • Saturday – Eh? Something?
  • Sunday – Wegman’s Salad Bar/Sushi
  • Monday – Meatballs with Brussels Sprouts

I’m going to try and get to bed earlier each night, to aide in the not being exhausted all the time.

I’m pulling in my drinking a lot, because it’s becoming an issue.  I need to establish better limits, and until that happens, I really shouldn’t be going out.

I’m working on the mental stability, and the positive thoughts.  So here’s to another week!

Siesta


I decided this morning as I rolled over to turn off my alarm that running was just not going to happen.  I could feel my hips creak and strain as I rolled over in bed, and the idea of running on my sore hips, hamstrings, glutes, calves, ankles, feet was not something I could wrap my head around.

I’ve made a deal with myself though… After I get home from class, if I’m not exhausted, and it’s not too late, I will make up my run this evening.  I like running in the evening because it’s a great way to decompress from the day.  While I love the effect of running/working out in the morning, there will always be a special place in my cardio routine for evening workouts.

So we’ll see how the day goes, but the prospect of working out tonight actually makes me smile :-D  Plus.. if I’m running I can’t be sitting in front of the TV snacking on food, right?  Right.

I am in love with these boots.

The first day of Summer (officially) is tomorrow, although the DMV area has been the victim of some intense heat and storms already the calendar places the first day of summer as the 21 of June.  So what am I planning on doing to celebrate?  Most likely nothing special, I might pull out a sun dress, or drive home with my windows open, but the summer months have never really been my favorite (even though my birthday is in July and my anniversary is in June – after summer starts).  I am not a big fan of the heat.  I would rather live in Seattle with rain, overcast, and cool temps year round.  I would prefer England, but lets be honest, who thinks I’m going to convince the Husband to move to England someday?  Don’t all raise your hands at once!

I’m more of a jeans & knee high boots girl, than a shorts and flip flops girl.

So I might be insane as I am currently signed up for 9 credits this fall. 9 CREDITS.  That is 3 classes.  I’m okay with this, because frankly I have to be.  This will make next year a lot easier.  I’ll have to take 3 classes total for my Masters – assuming I get a job, I’ll be able to do this.  If  I don’t get  job I’ll have to wait it out till I do.

I don’t think I am biting off too much.  I am simply just trying to get as much done as I can this year.  I want to go into 2014 with a great step in the right direction.  I want to be as prepared for my next step in life as much as I can be.  I don’t think that is wrong at all.

I’m taking notice of the things I can control, and those that I can’t.  It’s freeing really.

I think I found the workout I will do this evening.  Instead of worrying about mileage I am going to do intervals to help increase my speed.

This should give me a nice endorphin release, get my cardio on, and sweat out today.  Plus it’s not too much that I’ll feel like death afterward.

Menu:

  • On the way to Work: Protein Smoothie
  • Breakfast (8:00am) : bagel thin w/ cream cheese and coffee
  • Snack (10:00am): water and banana
  • Lunch (12:00pm): Salad with Chicken, Water
  • Snack (2:00pm): Yogurt with fruit, Diet coke
  • During Class: TONS OF WATER
  • Dinner: Greek Salad w/ you guessed it.. Water
  • Workout: 30 Minute Interval Training on Treadmill
  • Post Workout: Water & Tea

Give It To Me:

  • Evening or Morning workouts?  Why?
  • Flip Flops and Shorts or Boots and Jeans?
  • Do You Think I am Crazy to Sign up for 9 Credits?

Food For Thought:

A picture of me in Paris France in October 2012 – exhibiting my favorite attire as well as enjoying my favorite weather

Happy National Running Day!


Happy National Running Day!!!

I woke up at 5:40 am and bustled down stairs to get my 3.1 miles in before work.  30’24″.  Not too bad! i also accomplished my Runner’s World Run Streak Day 10!  29 more days to go!

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It was hard.  I had to jump off the treadmill a few times.  I think my body is still getting used to being awake and really active at that time in the morning.  Only way to improve is to keep on!  Am I right?

Last night’s class was awesome.  The teacher seems pretty laid back and kind of nerdy – and while I think that’s great I am more relieved he isn’t strict on the syllabus.  He has already allowed a lot more freedom on assignments than I thought he would, and this has made me very happy, as I hate working with other people on group presentations.  So this way I can be my little anti-social self and do all the work on my own.

In other news there is some craziness going on upstairs in my building.  Every few minutes the entire place shakes like there is an earthquake.  I got scared at first because it was shaking so hard and for so long I thought it might have been another earthquake like we had last year.  It also freaks me out because of all the random building collapses going on recently.  I’ll live, I’m sure.

When it rains, it pours though.  My parents can’t catch a break apparently.  Their fridge died yesterday and even though they are getting the new one delivered today, it was one thing that didn’t need to happen.  I feel like my family gets put through the ringer at least weekly now.  God?  Some Relief for the people who actually follow your commandments and are good faithful people?

In other news… I can’t get enough iced coffee apparently.  I am becoming a fiend.  It’s getting bad.  I need more.  I had too much yesterday and couldn’t sleep.  I tossed and turned all night.  Just thinking about coffee. ZZZZZmmmmmmZZZZZZZmmmmmm.  I sound like that mazda commerical…

“Zoom Zoom” but half asleep, and a massive frizzy fro of a hair style.  I know how to make the boys stare.

I signed up for the 2014 Rock n’ Roll Half Marathon this morning with my $20.00 discount for National Running Day!  Exciting.  If I only do the one other half I am registered for this year, that will be my 5th half marathon.  EXCITING!

One of these days I’ll do a full.  But right now I am enjoying the half distance.

Give it to Me:

  1. Are you running for National Running Day?
  2. What do you think of iced coffee?
  3. Do you prefer morning or afternoon workouts?

Food For Thought Wednesday

Tuesday Things


  • Woke up this morning after the first night back with A/C working in the house.  It was a beautiful restful sleep.  I was only doing 2 miles on the treadmill because it’s technically not a run day, but because of the Run Streak and the fact I am not lifting this week, I had to do at least 1 mile, and decided to actually get a workout in so I did 2 miles.  2.0 Miles – 20’18″  (Not too shabby).
  • First day of Class 1 was yesterday, and my teacher is hilarious.  HILARIOUS.  He is eccentric, different, brilliant, and amazing.  He also co-wrote  a book I just purchased, as I am sure it will come in handy with research I need to do this fall.  And because of my Amazon Prime free trial, I am getting it on Thursday!
  • I’ve decided next week (Which starts for me on Friday’s after I weigh in) I will have an Activity Point Goal. On Weight Watchers, you earn Activity Points for working out.  These can be measured by going to your tracker, finding the activity you did, and entering the duration you did it.  A lot of people find this way to be a bit misleading, as they don’t think the points calculated are accurate.  For instance:
    • On Saturday I ran 4 Miles and burned 564 calories.  Punching in “Running” and 40 minutes to the tracker I get 9 Activity Points, where as on My Fitness Pal I would just simply get 564 more calories a day.  If you aren’t familiar with Weight Watchers, 9 APs is a lot.  It’s more than I usually eat for lunch.  So a lot of people don’t trust simply entering it into the tracker.
  • So then Weight Watchers unveiled “ActiveLink”.  They jumped on the FitBit bandwagon (among others) and fashioned a clip that you wear all the time and it measures your activity expenditure.  You then plug it into you computer (I think) and it uploads (?) your activity to the WW website and spits out your points for the week.  I think this is a lot more reliable, because even though me and So and So weigh the same and run for the same amount of time, it doesn’t mean I burn the same as her.  I run a lot so it takes a lot for my Heart Rate to get high.  Everyone is different.  But I elect for option C, because I don’t want to pay for an ActiveLink:
    • I take my Calories and divide them by 75 (an arbitrary number that a good portion of WWer’s use on Twitter to figure out APs) and that is my AP for that exercise.  So this morning I burned 302 calories running / 75 = ~4.  So I earned 4 APs for this morning’s run.
  • Now you know more than you ever wanted to know about APs.  You are welcome.  Go conquer the world.
  • I’m selling stuff on Ebay.  Because I am poor, and I have a ton of stuff I don’t use anymore, that I need to get rid of.  Old HRMs, Purses, etc.  Here I go!  Anyone want a used but still perfect Polar FT4? 
Yup.

Yup.

  • I am still upset over Game of Thrones – if you don’t watch, you won’t get it, so I won’t go into detail, but man.  I AM JUST BROKEN.  AND DESTROYED.
  • Bachelorette – lordy.  What is wrong with this bitch?  THIS IS NOT A FAIRYTALE.  CINDERELLA NEVER HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN 25 MEN.  THAT IS WHAT WE CALL A SLUT TALE.  GEEZE.  Anyhoodle, last nights episode affirmed my thought that she is three sheets to crazy.  First one on one date with her first choice – Brooks.  Okay he’s cute, I get it.  He has a great jawline, hairline, butt line.  I see the package.  I see why he was her first choice.  But their date is going to a Bridal Gown Shop (WHAT IN THE LOVING EFF?) and they dress up like a bride and groom, go to a cupcake truck, get surrounded by fans (Fans?  Really?) and then they go to the Hollywood sign and have a little cuddletime as “Newlyweds.”  Um.   First date.. and this is what you choose?  This is like when Coutrney was like “I planned a fake wedding!”  And Ben was all like “durrrrrrrr.”

Sound it out… you almost got it…

  • Then the group date was a rap video with “Souja Boy”.  Right.  Which was called “All the Right Reasons”.  When the guys had private time with Des, Ben (The guy who used his Kid as a pawn in this game on night one – not the dumbass above) was like I wanna kiss you – and then they did, and he was like “This will be our little secret.”  Um Idiot… she already kissed Brooks.  So then he gets a rose, obviously.
  • The second one on one date was with Bryden (?) and he got all emotional because he almost died in a truck accident, and that’s why he’s all deep and introspective.  He even happened to be carrying pictures of his mangled truck and face.  So OF COURSE he gets a rose.  He also got her into a bikini and in a hot tub.  BUT he lacks moves.  There was the awkwardness of them staring at each other, and she is like come on… make a move and he just looks away.  So she says “Oh just kiss me already.”  And he still doesn’t move.  So she kind of pathetically lunged at him.  Poor Des.  Poor Mangled Bryden.  Poor Chris Harrison having to still host this show.
  • So then at the cocktail party, everyone is vying for time with her before she makes her final decision, and this guy (I can’t remember his name) comes up and is like “I need to tell her I have type 1 diabetes.”  I’ll call him Diabeetus.  I get that all the guys without abusive or sordid pasts need to pretty much play whatever hand they are dealt, and use any medical issue to their advantage as why they need her to love and heal them, but seriously dude.  If you got that shit under control, that is not something you need to bring up and be like “Yeah… it’s been really hard dealing with this.”  You’ve been good for 16 years.  It’s not like you just found out.  That is like a 3rd date convo (yeah I’m a bitch, but this is a game.. and he is playing with a wonky defense.) Well while he is pouring his heart out, who should come in but Ben!  BUT HE ALREADY HAS A ROSE.  HE IS SAFE THIS WEEK.  WHAT THE HELL.  He and Des sneak off and kiss again (Secretly!) and Diabeetus gets his panties in a twist about it.  He confronts Ben and is like “that’s not cool” and all the other guys say the same thing.  He’s like “I’m here for Des!”
  • Guy Drama.
  • She sends home the token Black Guy who can’t dance, and 2 other white dudes that I don’t remember being there.

Food For Thought Tuesday: