WW Trick #2 – Mental Talk Through and Physical Action

One of my biggest problems is night eating.  We are watching TV or doing something that is relaxing and all I want is popcorn, ice cream, candy, chips, etc.  Last night was no different.  This is how I now navigate it:

  • Don’t have the stuff in the house.
    • This is a big one.  I don’t have chips, ice cream, etc. in my house because I know what will happen.  I will eat them, all, in one sitting.  It’s a lot easier to not have it in the house because you have to make the effort to go out and get something.  I know for me, that when it means getting up, putting on shoes (and let’s be honest, a bra) and driving somewhere, I can usually talk myself out of it.  Now, if Jason wants to go, that’s a different story.
  • Track it before you Snack it.
    • If I desperately want something I look it up in the tracker and decide if it’s worth the points.  Now if I have no daily points left over, I weigh that in as well.  I don’t like just using Weekly Points or Activity points on unplanned things because that is a slippery slope to go down.  So if I have the points and I really want it, I’ll get it.
  • Are you Thirsty?
    • A lot of the time I am just thirsty and not hungry.  It’s hard to tell this since I am constantly craving sweets, but alas, most of the time a big glass of water does the trick.  Also, take a bit of a walk.  I went for a walk during work yesterday and it completely fixed my craving.  I just wanted to get up from my desk, not eat a candy bar.
  • Find humor In All things
    Weight loss humor~
  • Exercise is Important
    • You need to move.  I don’t care what you do.  You could do Yoga on a treadmill while punch a bag (I don’t suggest this, but you get the point) as long as you are moving.  Yes you can lose weight by just changing your eating habits, but exercise is good not only for the body, but the soul.  Sweating is therapy.  Being sore is working through things.  The elation afterward is your reward.  Do I like exercising?  When I’m done, I do.  I like the idea of running, but when I am running I hate life.
  • ….but eating is importanter
    • Yes I know that is not a word.  You can’t out-train a bad diet.  You can’t eat crap and then workout and expect to lose weight.  AT BEST you will maintain (Hello, I’m this person over the last year).  You have to do things in moderation.  If you don’t follow Weight Watchers, use your own program.  BUT FOLLOW IT.  this doesn’t mean you can’t indulge.  You just can indulge 100% of the time.

These are some of my “breakthroughs” over the past week – something that has been building over the past years of trying to lose weight, only now, I’m actually listening.

WW Trick #1: Prepare, Prepare, Prepare

One thing I have noticed a lot with my issues in losing weight is that I fail to plan.  With this new go around, I have begun pre-planning my weeks, just to know what’s up.

Yesterday I had planned my lunch meticulously, and then was invited out by a friend at work.  It was too good to pass up, so I looked at the menu, picked the least bad for you thing (Salad w/ Chicken) and tracked every bit.  I had worked out that morning, so it wasn’t too bad of a meal.

Last night we went to Flight Night at BadWolf Brewing Company, and shared a flight.  I have about 2 beers total, so I tracked.  I dipped into my weeklies by 5 P+, but it was worth the indulgence.

This is how things have to be.  I have to weigh what is more important.

  • Having numerous beers and feeling like crap in the morning vs. having a small amount of beer and having a slight headache but not feeling weighed down
  • Having a large piece of cake and shaming myself later vs. having a tiny piece of cake and staying in control
  • Beating myself up vs. Forgiving myself

I know these seem like a no-brainer, but there are so many times where I have simply chosen the bad route because it was easier.  I was searching for comfort and found it in food.

I need to find comfort in other things, like myself.  I need to learn to process emotions and feelings without stuffing my face with food.  Mainly because it never helps.  It makes me feel worse.

This song was something that I listened to on repeat because it actually made me feel better.  It made is seem like I wasn’t alone in my self hatred.  The heavier girl in the video is how I saw myself.  I would hide food, take an ice cream carton and go into the bathroom to eat it.  Buy numerous baked good from bake sales, and just chow down.  I always felt full afterwards, but sick.

I remember being about 7 years old and going to the Sizzler with my family, which is essentially a huge buffet (well it is a huge buffet) with really good food.  I loaded up my plate 3 times, and then had ice cream.  I felt so sick, and so horrible.  I couldn’t sleep that night because of the pain.

Or having to shop in the adult section of Caldor because the cute clothes of the juniors didn’t fit.  Wearing my dads pants to school because they did fit, and saying they were ‘vintage’ made the bigger size ok.

Having a friend of mine in the 3rd grade tell me that her mother said I should lose some weight.

These are the moments that stick out in my childhood.

I didn’t have a lot of friends, and those I did have pretty much were friends out of obligation of their parents.  I was socially awkward but outgoing – which is a horrible combo.

I never felt in control.

Now, with planning my food, and planning my weeks out, I feel in control.  I feel in control of what goes into my body, and the exercise I do.  I feel in control of my choices.

Preparing = being in control


Weight Watchers Meeting Week 1

So I walked into my meeting last night and I was pleasantly surprised.

Name tags!

The leader was really nice, the orientation afterward was great, and the people seemed to be really supportive.

This whole process seems new and exciting even though I have done weight watchers before.  I never did it like this, and I never felt the entirety of the weight I have on my bones now.

I weighed in.


That is 2.2 pounds away from 200.

That is 23.2 pounds away from my highest recorded weight.

It breaks my heart to know that not that long ago I was 10 pounds away from goal.  TEN.  Now I am 37.8.

I shouldn’t focus on this, because it’s going to get better.  I took the first step.  I walked in the building.  The rest is up to me.

I am taking this feeling as well with my mental health.  I have to be patient.

With my running.  I have to be patient.

Patience is the lesson of the day.



  • B – Coffee, WW Oatmeal, WW smoothie
    S: diet coke
    L: Salad w/ zucchini, bell pepper, onion, cheese; yogurt, apple
    S: apple
    D: Homemade Pizza

Weekend In Pictures


Oh yes…. it happened


Friday Collage


The Tattoo!


11 Miler on Sunday!

photo 1

My Favorite Things

photo 2

My Children

photo 3

Debuting the head piece for my sisters wedding

photo 4



Baking creation to start off the week – Apple Pie Bread

Marine Corps Marathon Training – Week 4

At the Marine Corp Marathon

This even applies to me

Week 4/18

  • Monday: REST DAY
  • Tuesday: 3 Mile Run (AM) (MY BIRTHDAY!) – 32’27″ – 10’49″ pace
  • Wednesday: 3 Mile Run (AM) – 33’44″ – 11’15″ pace
  • Thursday: 6 Mile Run (PM) – 1:10:05 – 11’41″ pace
  • Friday: Rest Day
  • Saturday: 3 Mile Run – 32’07″ – 10’42″ pace
  • Sunday:  11 Mile Run – 2:01:29 – 11’02″ pace

Weekly Mileage:

  • Running: 26 Miles

Week 4 concludes.  I can’t even fathom the 12 miler next weekend.  I know I’ve run farther then that, but it still seems soooooo hard.

I know it is hard.

If it was easy, everyone would do it.

30 Years and What I Have Learned

Another Morning Run

First – I got up again and ran.  I am proud of myself.  I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it this afternoon, and I was just going to skip it.  I was thinking up how I could change my running plan around to make it work, and every equation was bad.  So I got up and did it.

I’m 30 now.  It’s not really sunk in that I am older, only because I don’t feel that I am.  But, I have realized that things I’ve done in the past aren’t going to end up the way they used to.  Actions will not have the same endings as they did before.

What I Have Learned (For Better or Worse)

  1. You can not drink like you did in your early 20′s.  Don’t try.  It will end badly.  So very badly.
  2. Getting up earlier is easier – but not by much.
  3. Going to bed is easier – by leaps and bounds.
  4. Although I never had a strong metabolism, I really don’t have one at all now.  What you eat is way more important than the amount of exercise you do.
  5. The friends you still have are the ones you will have for life.
  6. Coffee is your best friend.  Never give it up.
  7. If you have a job you hate, don’t stay there.  No money is worth it.
  8. Don’t burn bridges at the job you hate, because frankly, you never know when you might need a paycheck – no matter how crappy the job is.
  9. Focus on the positive.  Life is too short to keep thinking about the negative.
  10. Spend time with your parents.  Spend as much time as you can.  They are getting older as you are.  Time is precious.
  11. We are still masters of our fate. We are still captains of our soul. – Winston Churchill
  12. You are not always the smartest person in the room.
  13. Arrogance is ugly.
  14. You can always learn something from everyone around you – regardless if it is useful information.
  15.  Nostalgia is something to hold on to
  16. Stop drinking liquor

I know this isn’t funny, at least mostly, but It’s a list of the lessons I’ve learned.  I’m embarking on my be healthier and be better kick.


let’s hope by the time I am 40 I can say that I kept up with all of these.


Advice from a Former Loser


Beautiful truth.

Originally posted on OneCyndiSmith:

Did you know Indiana is full of rolling hills that burn your thighs? I didn’t either. But both ways out of our neighborhood are windy and hilly.

My thighs are on fire.

Especially after pushing this messy munchkin around.

We walked to Essenhaus, the Amish resort near our house, to meet my sister in law, my niece, nephews, and my grandparents. We are lucky that my brother and his family live less than 10 minutes away from us. My grandparents are here visiting from Alabama. We had a great time riding the horse and carriage through the rolling hills.

The boys got to sit up front with Rudy, our friendly guide. Bless him, he had so much patience with them and he even let them drive Chester, the gorgeous horse.

The kids were dressed in summer clothes and froze. It didn’t bust 65 degrees today and Quinn and I were…

View original 293 more words

Birthday Miles

WAHOOO Morning Run

I considered doing 30 miles.. but then I almost died laughing.

3.0 Miles for my 30th Birthday y’all.


Thir. Ty.

I don’t feel different, which is good, I just feel like wow.  I’m 30.

I woke up at 5 am because Schnoozarific was all like ‘I need to go outside’ and then after I got up to let her out, she still peed on the floor.  What a little bitch.

So I came back to bed and was like ‘I’m running this afternoon” to which Jason replied “Mmmdfhkhjkdgfnldsgkjo” or something as equally unintelligible.

Then I thought, No.  Get it done now.  Seriously.  So I got up put on my running clothes and busted out 3 (tired) miles.  But the nice thing is, I will not be thinking about the run for the rest of the day, except when I think I’m done with it.

I’m getting a massage this afternoon as a treat to myself, because I’m spoiled.  I am spoiling myself.  Go away.  I’m 30.

That will be my new comeback for everything now:  Go away.  I’m 30.

“Bethany, you drank too much.” Go away.  I’m 30.

“Bethany, you shouldn’t have cut that cop car off.”  Go away.  I’m 30.

“Bethany, you shouldn’t tell people you are 29.”  Go away.  I’m 30. 

It works.


Hope you all have a fantastic day!

9 Mile Run & Pre-Birthday Celebration

Pre-Run – oh how innocent and unassuming I was.

I woke up rather early (5:45 am) and set out by 6:15 am to get this over with.  I had originally planned to be out by 7:00 am so I was pretty happy about this.

That quickly faded, as that run was pretty much horrid.  I walked a lot.  My pace was 11’39″.  I had to stop and sit numerous times.  I also cheated and stopped my garmin.  Is that cheating?  Oh well.  It felt so wrong, but so right.

I ran the same route as last week with a bit of modification in order to capture that final mile.  Well, I overshot and had an extra mile on top of the 9 miles that I had to walk.  Oh well.  I guess had I been really motivated I could have run it, but I am obviously – or at least I wasn’t – motivated.

This is a road.

After my run and a big ass breakfast, it was time to meet up with everyone for the winery trip!

Always keeping it classy.

It was a great day that ended with me passing out drunk on the love seat on the deck at 10:00 pm.

Party animal I am.

It was great, and I made out like a bandit with gifts.  I woke up Sunday, nursed my hangover, made coffee and breakfast for Lisa and Jason and then prepared for the day.

I am shocked at how proactive I am in the mornings now.

It’s weird, and welcoming.

Marine Corps Marathon Training – Week 3

I will not be anywhere near these guys


Week 3/18:

  • Monday – Rest Day
  • Tuesday – 3.20 miles – 35’21″ – 11’03″ pace
  • Wednesday – 5.0 Miles – 53’39″ – 10’44″ pace
  • Thursday – 3.0 Miles – 33’18″ – 11’06″ pace
  • Friday – Rest Day
  • Saturday – 9.0 Miles – 1:44:47 – 11’39″ pace
  • Sunday – Dog walk and rest

I actually followed the training plan to a T this week, even on the days I was supposed to run.  I didn’t modify the schedule at all and I call this a win.  Those 9 miles were hard, lots of walking, lots of stopping, lots of wondering why the hell I am doing this in the first place.

I’m eager to get my mileage up because I know that once I see this isn’t impossible, I’ll feel better about it.  This coming week, my mileage jumps a bit, which is totally fine.  I have to push myself at some point.

I was very surprised at myself on Saturday.  I got up at 5:45 and was out the door by 6:15.  6:15!  I hope that continues.  It will make this whole training thing easier.

Have a great Monday!