Category Archives: #fail

Throwback Thursday!

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Me, at last years half marathon start line.  Terrified, still not quite awake to know what was going on, and unsure of just about everything in the world.  But look at my crazy drunk grin!  No I wasn’t drunk – this was the face of a girl who wished this was the finish line.  Don’t get me wrong. I love running.  I love the half marathon distance.  BUT with that said…. I hate waking up early in order to do these things.  I need a half marathon that starts at 10:00am people.

This years race starts – like gun time – at 7:30am.  Which means I need to be there by 7:00am.  Which means I need to get up by 4:30 in the morning.  On Saturday.  This is still better than the Half in December, where we had to get up at 3:45am for a race that started at 8:00am because it was in Annapolis. I will no longer do that for races.

Except if it’s Disney.  I will do that for Disney.

So yesterday I posted an afternoon Vlog detailing how I felt day 1 after NROLFW workout.  I still feel great.  I am sore, there is no getting around that, but I feel great nonetheless.   I’m overdosing on water today so my muscles can repair themselves – along with protein, but part of me still feels “BLARG”.  I am not sure what I did to my jaw but it really hurts.  The left side is like kinked or something.  I can close my mouth all of the way without pain – so my tongue is acting as a barrier, and if I open my mouth too wide – like to yawn- it hurts even more.

GOOGLE READER WILL CLOSE ON JULY 1 2013!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Because my world is over.  I have so many blogs on there.  Wahhhhhhhhh.  I spent 45 minutes last night transferring all of my subscriptions to the Worpress Reader, and I hope that doesn’t go away because then I will just have to memorize everyone’s blog, or keep a spreadsheet on a thumbdrive of all of the addresses, and then I’ll lose that on the subway or something – because I’ll have it in my bag of tricks known as my purse, and then my life will really be over.  So stayed tuned for the post of “I LOST ALL MY BLOGS.”

I’ve updated my NROLFW page with my preliminary measurements and before photos.  I will not comment on the before photos, because they are hideous. My ass looks like I stuffed two basketballs in my pants, and not in a good way.   That’s why I am here.  That’s why I am doing this.  I can do this.  I can’t keep saying it’s too hard.  It’s too difficult.  OF COURSE IT’S HARD.

Today’s Plan!

  • Breakfast: Coffee w/ Cream, Protein Smoothie w/ Strawberry, banana, pineapple, skim milk and Protein Scoop, Yogurt
  • Snack: Water
  • Lunch: Spinach salad w/ chicken, walnuts, gorgonzola, carrots; baby carrots w/ hummus, yogurt
  • Snack: Apple or Banana
  • Dinner: Soup? Salad? Something?  Clean out fridge day.
  • Activity: NROLFW S1 Day 2 (Workout B) & 2 Miles running on treadmill

Well I am off to embrace the workday, and see where I am taken with it’s path.. or something.

Tuesday Things – Woe Is Me Edition

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Hebrews 12:1 More at http://ibibleverses.christianpost.com/

  • The race is fast approaching.  I remember this week last year, and how nerves and scared feelings and how I am also the same weight (give or take a few pounds) that I was then.  I am trying to see that nothing from the past matters, and I need to keep looking towards the future, and not continue to say “Next week will be better,” because even though it will, it can be better today.  I am taking immense solace in this verse today.  I know I don’t bring religion on this blog often, if at all, but this morning I needed my umph.  This is where I get that from.

  • Motivation, finding it and keeping it is hard.  The only reason I keep running so much is because I keep signing up for races, so in order to not collapse during said races I need to keep my endurance up.  So why is my weight loss effort any different?  If I miss a run it’s not the end of the world (though I may act like it is at the time) but if I have a bad meal, I am suddenly spiraling down into the abyss that is bad eating and I just keep going. And going. And going.  I am the energizer bunny of eating.  Ice cream 1/2 gallon containers fear me.  Bags of Chips hide from me.  Peanut Butter is still in therapy after the great jar epidemic of November ( I sat down and ate – literally- and entire small jar of peanut butter with a spoon).  The amazing thing is, I am not that far away from my lowest weight.  I haven’t fallen so far off the wagon that really old bad habits of mine have taken hold again.  I don’t go to Fast Food Places, and I know donuts are bad and I don’t buy cupcakes, and even I can realize when I’ve indulged too much.  But there is still that element after dinner, when I ask myself if I can go one night without snacking – constantly – the answer always ends up being no. 

  • So I post pinterest images of workouts and motivational sayings hoping that at least may be a reader will contract some motivation from them.  I look at them and find motivation in the moment, and then like turning a page, it’s gone.  Last year it was the Dominican Republic that I thought would be enough motivation.  Nope.  This year I am going to the beach with the Husband at the end of June.  I am trying to force the issue with myself, but for whatever reason I find excuses.  Too many excuses.  This isn’t a pity party, because frankly I know what I am doing wrong – it’s food.  It’s too much, it’s too often, and I am not being honest with myself or my tracker. 

Tuesday’s Plan

  • Breakfast: English Muffin, PB, Smoothie, Coffee
  • Snack: Water
  • Lunch: Spinach Salad, Baby Carrots w/ hummus, yogurt, apple
  • Snack: Banana
  • Dinner: Turkey Tacos (Over spinach for me, in corn tortilla’s for the husband)
  • Activity:
    • The above thigh workout
    • 3.1 Miles

67 Ways to Lose Weight – via Pinterest – what would you add to this list?  What have you tried?

  • So I am still reeling from finishing The Fault In Our Stars, I had a dream that they made it into a movie and Emma Watson played Hazel (the narrator).  I woke up at 3:45 am and was crying.  Yeah I need a new book (Looking for Alaska has shipped!).  All this time I should be reading for school but it’s Spring Break so NOPE!  

xoxoxoxo

Face It Friday – Weekly Weigh In – Week 9

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WI: +1.0
Total Lost: -1.6
Amount to Lose:  24.8 Pounds
Emotion:  *&^$&^$*$%#%)(*)*)!!!!!!!

I was expecting to gain.  I was.  This week kicked my ass in a way it hasn’t in a while.  I was stressed (Big Presentation at work and at school), I was exhausted from trying to fit everything in (still am, but i am planning on sleeping in tomorrow), and pretty much eating when I could with what I could.  I feel like crap for letting myself gain this much back in two weeks, but I am now focusing on the future.  I am not the girl I was 40 pounds ago and I need to remember that.  
My stomach is still off,and I am not sure how to get it back to not being queasy.  I am actually a bit concerned because it seems like anything I have eaten over the past three days has made me feel like death.  I felt bad because I was extremely uncomfortable last night in class and I had to keep getting up and leaving the room.  It was getting so hot in there and I just was stifled.

Well it’s Friday – March 1 – and the Sequester has happened?  I guess?  Are we all still here?

{The Londoner – My New Favorite Blog – has a tumblr.  My Friday is now going to be pretty entertaining. }

#Ootd

#Ootd

I am the anti-girl.  I tried to do skirts, dresses, etc.  But to be honest, I feel like a man playing dress up.  I am awkward and not remotely dainty.  Sometimes I have to remind myself to not be so much like a tomboy, because it comes across as such.  I am pretty much saying I am gross and awkward.  You’re welcome.

I’m running the Reston 10 Miler on Sunday!  WAHOO.  Today will be an easy 3 miles, tomorrow will be an easy 2 miles with arm circuit of strength training.  Then I’ll be all nice and limber for the 10 miler on Sunday!  I plan on doing some form of exercise on Monday, if I am not still sore, but it most likely won’t be running.  

  • How do you get back on track after falling off the wagon horribly?
  • What are your plans for the weekend?
  • Have you or would you ever run a 10 miler?

Thursday Things

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  • I printed out a training plan for run/walking a Marathon.  Yup.  The Marine Corps Marathon is hounding me, frankly.  Well I asked them to do so, but they are actually doing it. 
Well, crap.

Well, crap.

  • I immediately was like “TWITTER PEEPS.  HELP.”  My friend Melissa came to my rescue as she ran her first marathon last year.  She told me about Coach Jenny who has training plans that your shorter runs are based on time, and not distance (BIG MENTAL HELP FOR ME) and the longer runs are bi-weekly as in you run 14 miles one Saturday and then the following Saturday you drop down to like 8 miles, then you bump back up to 15.  There is always a recovery week involved.  PLUS the run/walk version I picked will have me running on race day for 5 minutes, walking for 1 minute.  I think the Marine Corps Marathon is a great race to do this in because it is so huge.  There will be people finishing after me.. which is still boggling my mind.  Last year there was a person who finished in 7 hours and 22 minutes.  I CAN EASILY FINISH IN THAT TIME.  I say this now, then at mile 18 mile hip will fall off and I will have to crawl because there is no crying in baseball (Thanks Tom Hanks).  Once I get through some of my training I will give more reviews on Coach Jenny’s plan :-)
  • Apparently we are supposed to get snow today.  I don’t believe it.  Nope.  Not one bit.

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  • I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY WEATHER.COM.  Every time they say it’s gonna snow and the federal government goes on liberal leave or whatever, nothing happens.  But every time they say ‘Oh it will be nothing”  and everyone goes to work, Armageddon occurs.  I’ll believe it when I see it guys.  I plan on leaving work around 3 just to give into the hype, and get my workout done earlier.  
  • I had this weird idea yesterday on my way home that I would do my long run, which this week is 6.2 miles. WHY WOULD I DECIDE THIS ON A WEDNESDAY? I randomly felt good, and was like ” I can totally do this under an hour.”  Ego takes over, and then whilst on the treadmill the bad habits of the past two weeks caught up with me and I was like “EFF 6 miles.  I’m doing HALF THAT.”  So I did half a 10K, or a 5k.  I felt happy that it was over.  I had to stop about 5 times to just stand next to the treadmill and curse it, and then  as punishment I did squats.  This did not help the feeling of sore legs.  This made sore legs worse (more sore.)
  • I am really liking the application of Lose it.  I am seeing results on the scale, and even though I can’t tell right now, if I am changing at all, I know that I will see results if I keep sticking to it.  I think I just needed something different than the same old to recharge my passion for weight loss.  Well my passion to not jiggle in the wrong places.
  • I START CLASSES IN A WEEK
  • I’m going to do a workout from NROWLFW tonight.  Haven’t decided which phase… but it’s coming back!

xoxoxox

Struggle Bus – When I Stumble #Fitblog

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  • I stumbled this weekend – may be I stayed with in my caloric limit.  May be I exercised and drank water.  May be I said no to the pot roast for lunch and had a lousy salad.  May be I did what I was supposed to do.  But the choices I made at points were bad ones.  Pizza and Hamburgers (Greasy cheesy messes of awesomeness) in one weekend most likely wasn’t the best decision.  Then I made dinner for my parents on Sunday and topped off my weekend with eating too much mac and cheese and not enough of the healthy salad I had intended.  Yesterday was a low point.  That is me being nice.  I have two pairs of “work pants” aka non-jeans – that fit.  I’m not talking that fit and look nice, I am saying I have two pairs of pants that zip up all the way and don’t feel as though they will rip when I bend over.  
  • We went grocery shopping last night, and got dinner at Wegmans.  I got Sushi – which the choices I made were ultimately healthy and for some reason I can fill up on sushi without ordering a lot – less than the average bear.  I then raided the produce section.  Grabbing veggies and fruits and clean items to stock my meals with.  I even grabbed bad foods and then put them back before hitting the checkout.  TPWSNBN laughed at me, but those chips didn’t make it inside our house, now did they?
  • I am chugging water like a mofo, and I am okay with the fact that now every 25 minutes I have to get up and use the restroom.

mlfw3491-117671_-_animated_i_need_to_pee_macro_pinkie_pie

Setting Goals Infographic

Attribution to OnlineEducation.net

Attribution to OnlineEducation.net 

 

  • I found it informative and well pretty on par.  I put so much stock in the new year starting to get better with so many things in my life, and really I should have just done it.  I think this is why I fail.  It’s always “I will start on {insert monumental moment}.”  
  • So I am taking it one day at a time.
  • Today’s Plan:
    • Breakfast: Light English Muffin w/ Better n’ Peanut Butter, Atkin’s Vanilla Shake, Coffee w/ Cream
    • Lunch: Mixed Greens Salad w/ radish, pepper, broccoli, chicken, lite balsamic dressing, Yogurt w/ Protein Powder, Diet Pepsi
    • Snack: Apple & Atkin’s Bar
    • Dinner: 2 Fried Eggs, 2 Chicken Sausage Links, 1 Piece of whole wheat toast
    • Activity: Plan was to work out this morning before work, but I wanted to be in bed so much more – this also needs to change – so I am going to workout after dinner.  30 Minutes of Circuit Training:
      • Run 0.25 Miles
      • 10 Shoulder Presses
      • 10 Bicep Curls
      • 10 Dead lifts
      • 10 Burpees
      • 10 Crunches
      • 10 Lunges (each leg)
      • 10 Squats
      • 10 Front Raises
        • 4 Rounds!
  • I can do this.  I will do this.  I have to do this.

Priority: Medium

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  • I love getting emails with the above title in the subject line.  Does this mean you need me to open it now, later, at some point?  Does this mean the contents aren’t a huge deal but they still need my attention?  The fact is, the label means nothing, and I should treat all of my emails as if they are life and death.  

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  • Where I stood from last Monday till yesterday.  The way this program works I am tempted to switch weigh in days, but I am so good when it’s on Friday.  I also haven’t weighed myself since Friday, which I consider to be a victory in and of itself. 
  • Today’s workout is a 4 mile run.  I will be doing this on the treadmill because my hip and knee have been giving me grief.  Not so much pain as just tightness.  Stupid muscles.  I will also be doing an arm workout afterwards.  Gotta keep lifting if I want to see this fat go away and lean muscle take it’s place.  I really hope deep beneath the layers of fat and skin there are muscles developing.  I upped my weight from 10 pound dumb bells to 15 pounds this weekend – I know.  I am SO strong – I’m hoping to work up to 25 pounds by the beginning of Feb.  Then I’ll have to buy more weight.
  • TPWSNBN and I went to the National Gallery of Art yesterday and saw many beautiful things, but two things stuck out a lot.
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Jackson Pollock “Lavender Mist”

The walkway between the east and west buildings of the National Gallery

The walkway between the east and west buildings of the National Gallery

  • It was pretty darn awesome.
  • I had a pretty even keel for the weekend with regards to food.  I ate Pizza, a hamburger, and mac and cheese, but I stayed within my calories.  I exercised, I portioned, and I feel good about it.  I am read to get back into lighter meals this week and plan on overdosing on veggies and water.  I am bloated and I don’t like it.
  • This Weeks Dinners:
    • Monday: Sushi at Wegmans
    • Tuesday: Breakfast for Dinner – Eggs, Sausage, Toast
    • Wednesday: Chicken Pot Pie – Deconstructed – Attempt 4 (I always screw this up, but not this time)
    • Thursday: Taco Salad
    • Friday: Dinner out with Lisa for her Birthday!
    • Saturday: Most likely take out at home – I’m hoping we go to Chop’t!
    • Sunday: Dinner with TPWSNBN’s Parents
  • AND THEN I HAVE MONDAY OFF!  I am so excited about Monday being a holiday.  I can’t even tell you.
  • I’m heading over to Old Navy on my Lunch break because I need a new pair of pants, and they have compression pants for running on sale, and I have no willpower.

 

Tuesday Things

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  • It’s technically Thursday for most who don’t have to work over the holiday weekend, and for this I am thankful.  I have to work tomorrow, but am planning on doing half a day in the office and half a day at home so I can bake pies and other desserts for Thursday.  I love baking.  I also love how I will have all of these treats in my house for a full 24 hours before anyone else will eat them, and then I will have the leftovers in my house for the entire weekend, with me trying not to eat them.  The main worry is the apple pie.  Oh how I love pie. (That’s what she said.  Oh yes she did)
  • A local radio station has been playing Christmas music since Veterans day.  Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Bing Crosby and Nat King Cole, but it’s a little early don’t you think?  I mean I may have cleaned my house on Sunday to the sounds of a She&Him Christmas, but I’m not forcing anyone (other than TPWSNBN) to listen to it (and he was outside mowing the lawn).  One holiday at a time people!
  • I am actually very proud of the Walmart Employees who are striking against working on Thanksgiving (or opening at Midnight Friday morning).  I think it’s ridiculous how companies expect their employees to just come in on a holiday where we should all be with out families.  Same goes for Christmas.  Even if you don’t celebrate in anyway, a day off is deserved.  NO ONE needs to go buy things that badly.  Line up the night if you wish outside, but don’t have people opening the store when they should be home in a well deserved food coma.
  • I had a good run yesterday 5k – 32’17″ – 10’25″ pace – I’m taking today off because I have class and before class I have to take an exam at the testing center.  Tomorrow will be 4 miles, Thursday will be an easy 5k in the morning to get ahead of the calories consumed that day, and then Friday is my 10 MILER.  My longest run since the half marathon in March, and subsequently my longest run till my half marathon on Dec. 1.  Eep.  I think I’ll be okay as I didn’t run farther than that before the last one during my training, and this time I am not in a walking boot 3 weeks before the race.

March 17, 2012 – Half Marathon Splits

  • I hope my splits/time is better and slightly more even than these were.  I would love to beat my time from March – and while that is a strong possibility, I am really doing this to have fun.  AND HAVE FUN I SHALL.  no but seriously.  I would like to beat my time.  No joke.
  • I really need a new pair of running shoes.  Since I stopped using the Mizunos – at least for now to see if those are the problem – I’ve noticed how old my other shoes are… But I have a half next weekend, so breaking in a new pair right now is not going to happen. AGH Runner Problems.
  • I think it sucks that I didn’t take this week off.  I should have.  But because of England, I have no more vacation hours.  But it was worth it.  So worth it.  Let’s go back to that happy week, shall we?

  • Sigh.
  • I am having copious amounts of salad today for lunch and dinner.  I noticed last week how great I felt eating salad everyday, and now that I have a great mindset of things to add to a salad I am very happy.  GIVE ME ALL THE KALE.
  • Well I guess I should get to work.. whine.

Fit It All In

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  • After my epic loss last week, I had an epic race on Saturday!  I was very negative the entire time leading up to the race and how I would surely come in last and how there was no way in hell that I would do better on this race than I did the race three weeks ago.  Well I did do better.  

01:04:35 Chip Time

ELATED

  • I shaved just under 4 minutes off my time from the MCM 10K 3 weeks ago.  I went from a 10’51″ pace to a 10’11″ pace, with the first two miles run in under a 10’00″ pace each.  If it hadn’t been for a really bad cramp that I couldn’t run through I might have finished at a flat 10’00″ pace.  There is always next time.  Since I am still reeling from my epic run on Saturday I really want to sign up for more races.  But I need to hold off at least until I complete the half marathon in two weeks.
  • I know I want to sign up for the Reston 10 Miler, and possibly another half marathon – Nike Women’s? – But I need to curb my enthusiasm for the moment, as I have been racing almost every other weekend.
  • This weekend was okay.  I went a little eating happy and well the scale wasn’t kind this morning.  I am combating it with lots of water, eating cleanly and 3.1 miles after work.

Workout Plan This Week

  • Monday: 3.1 Miles
  • Tuesday: Ripped in 30
  • Wednesday: 3.1 Miles
  • Thursday: 2.5 Miles
  • Friday: 10 Miles
  • Saturday: Rest
  • Sunday: Ripped in 30

Seems like a lot doesn’t it?

  • I might take another rest day in there somewhere… Like Tuesday I might.  I haven’t decided.  It really depends on how I feel.  The only run I know I have to get in is the 10 miler so that the following weekend’s Half Marathon will go well.  Jeeze Louise.  I’ll be running a half marathon again in less than two weeks.  My thighs are burning just thinking about it.
  • Thanksgiving on Thursday – Tonight is the final hull of grocery needs.  I am actually at ease this year, it being the fourth time we’ve done it.  We’ve made a list of exactly what we need, and how to make it, and well that has served us this year without having to guess what is needed and how much.  I am really looking forward to Thanksgiving.
  • I am also looking forward to this work week being a short one.

But aren’t we all?

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I’m Only Half Crazy

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I decided yesterday with a heavy heart to downgrade from the full marathon in March to the half marathon.  I realized that running was nothing something I was finding joy in and the idea of those training runs looming over the next two months, pretty much made me want to cry – and I did.

I got home later than I wanted to from work and that meant that running outside + cooking dinner + laundry + cleaning to prepare for Friday couldn’t all happen at once.  This meant I would be running on the treadmill, no big deal, not a huge let down, but it still sparked me in a negative light.  I was tired, my achilles tendon on my left side was throbbing, and after some battling back and forth I went upstairs and changed.  I got on the treadmill and after approximately 0.10 a mile I stopped.  I started crying.  I hated this.  I hate running.  I hate running because I am not getting better at it, which is my own fault.  I’ve relied on the treadmill which has made training for outdoor races impossible.  I’ve been comparing myself to other people and their paces which just makes me angry at myself for not being faster.

I lost the point of it.

I went upstairs and got in the shower and cried for about 15 minutes knowing that with my mentality, workload, school load and such, I could not train for a marathon in March.  I knew I had to immediately drop down from the full to the half component before the deadline – which even though is in January – if I didn’t do it know I may, in my crazy state, try to talk myself into running the full and thus – with a promise – injuring myself or going stark raving mad.

The rest of the evening was kind of a blur.  I went in and out of fits of wanting to cry, feeling like a failure, and desperately wanting whatever it was that I had before back.  Where did my passion go?  Where did this desire to go out and run and run and run leave to?  Last fall when I was training for the half, like clock work, every run day I would go home, change clothes, and head out.  I was running 6-7 miles on WEEK DAYS.  Now I’m like “My long run is 7.  I can’t even hit 8 on my training plan.”  I talk myself into 2 miles, and hope that will be enough.

It’s not enough.

So after taking yesterday off, my achilles tendon isn’t stellar, but it’s not throbbing.  I’m doing stretches of it at work today and when I get home I am doing 3 miles, intervals of 3 minutes at 5.9 mph, and 30 seconds a 4.0 mph on the treadmill.  Why on the treadmill you ask?  Because I need to not feel daunted today with terrain and hills.  Wednesday I plan on – if I get home from work early enough – doing 4 miles outside.  If Wednesday is too late, I’ll do an easy 2 on the treadmill, and then Thursday I’ll run the 4 outside after work.

Friday I have 4.5 planned outside that I will do.  Saturday I’ll rest and Sunday I’ll do the 10k road race. I’ll get back on track with this.  I’ll get my head back in the game.  I know what my body is capable of, and I know I can do it.  I just have to decide that I want to do it, and that I can do it.  Because I can do it.  (I can.)

So I am taking a step back.  Looking at November with other things going on in my life and realizing where I can and can’t do things.

November Workouts

I need to take care of myself first, and here is me trying to do just that.