I am not sure why suddenly the act of getting out of bed to workout is something I can talk myself into. I actually woke up with my alarm (first one, fake) at 5:10 and thought, ‘I’m not going to workout. I’m sore. I’m tired. Rest Day.’ The second alarm (also fake) went off at 5:20 and then I was like ‘You are never going to get fit if you sleep through workouts.’ Then I hit snooze, granting myself more time because Hey, I deserved it right? I just told myself the truth. Bonus Points. Then my third alarm (real one) went off at 5:30 and BAM. I immediately, almost robot like, stood up and got ready for my workout. I went downstairs, got my water bottle and headed to the basement to lift. Lifting in the morning is more enjoyable to me than cardio. Because it’s slower movements than running. I have to concentrate more, so it involves more brain work than well, body work in my mind. What was most shocking to me was using the mirror that the Husband moved over so I could watch my form. My legs don’t look half bad. When did my calves get that kind of definition when not being flexed? BY NO MEANS do I look like “An After” but man.. my in progress is pretty damn spiffy. THANKS 89 Million LUNGES!
Not sure if I was awesome or not… Should I go back to sleep and try again?
In other news regarding exercise… HELLO BUTT. No it doesn’t look much different, but man does it hurt. Thanks Squats! I kind of hate you constantly, but the soreness is proof that I am doing something (whether I’m doing it right or not is another story. This could be pain from some injury I am causing myself over and over again). I am fully aware of hard surfaces now, and the act of sitting on them takes finesse and well time. The waddle down to a semi-squat position which hurts to hold for more than negative 10 seconds, basically makes me fall into the set or object that I am trying to land on. When I am alone, this is okay. It’s in front of an entire class that we have a problem.
I am focusing on cleaner eating. I find myself walking to the candy jar at work too often – it should be never – so I am focusing today on not doing it. I know it seems like a small thing, but it’s huge to me. Little changes, baby steps, etc. I’m also going to aim for a gallon of water a day – 128 ounces – so that I am fully hydrated and my muscles can heal from the torment I am putting them through. Come on baby muscles… GROW.
I had a very ‘poor pitiful’ me night last night. So I like that little reminder. At least my husband thinks I’m hot.
5:30 am – Workout (NROLFW Stg 4 B1)
6:45 am – Post Workout Protein Smoothie
8:00 am – Bagel thin w/ Cream cheese, banana, coffee
10:00 am – Apple & Tea
12:00 pm – Spaghetti Squash w/ sauce and hot dog, yogurt, carrots
2:00 pm - banana & Quest Protein Bar
4:00 pm – Coffee w/ Class
8:00 pm – Chicken Stir Fry w/ Asian Slaw and Quinoa
Woke up at 5:30 and rolled out of bed, into my workout clothes, and then downstairs to the treadmill for 3 miles. I will say I felt really good this morning on the treadmill. I thought my soreness – that had already hit in full force from yesterday – would hurt my running, but in all actuality, it didn’t. I was shocked. It hurts like hell now, but man, I ran a pretty good 3 miles.
3 Miles – 30’15″ – 10’15″ pace
After a cool down and then breakfast prep, I went upstairs, showered and shaved my legs because holy hell it’s too hot for pants. So i am wearing cropped pants. Getting me into a skirt is pretty difficult again. I am not sure why I go in phases, but I just feel like a line backer in football when I wear a skirt. Plus it’s supposed to storm today, and walking across campus in the rain and a dress, blows.
I’m really bad at taking pictures.
Class last night was good. I got in a heated discussion over some themes in the book we are reading as a class. I think the problem is that certain people believe we all have to agree, and I don’t think that’s true. If we all had the same opinion it would be boring. Oh well he can get his boxers in a twist. I think it’s funny that I’m in a class with all of these people who are already teachers and they already have classrooms, but they obviously don’t know how to handle someone who doesn’t see things they way they do. Well it’s really just one. THERE IS ALWAYS ONE PERSON I DON’T GET ALONG WITH. It doesn’t hurt that he is kind arrogant. Ugh… 5.5 more weeks.
I find myself a bit overzealous at the moment. Between running (and pretending to train for races I have this year) lifting, dieting, school, work, and the attempt to find a job once I leave the one I am currently at, I think I might be biting off too much. We’ll see. I think that the more I can get done this year – whilst still employed – the better. Plus if my new plan works out – the new plan fed to me by my Professor last night – i will only have three classes to take next year TOTAL to finish up my masters. Which means internship in the spring, 1 class over the summer, and then the capstone in the fall – THEN I GRADUATE. Is it bad that I am like “But then what? PhD? I don’t want to not be a student. I want to keep going. I WANT MORE.” Then the Husband is like “Um. No. Because Money.”
Hopefully the act of teaching high schoolers will be enough of a learning experience for me.
Post Workout: Protein Smoothie
Breakfast: Bagel Thin w/ Cream Cheese & Coffee
Lunch: Spaghetti Squash w/ Hot dog and Pasta Sauce, yogurt, Carrots
Friday night we ventured to Ashburn to pick up my race packet and dilly to Sorrento Grill in Herndon for dinner. When we lived in Herndon we ate their at least once a week, and for good reason. The food is amazing. Better than anything Manassas has to offer – I’m really started to loathe the town I live in. It’s becoming a bit too much and I need a change. Plus it’s Monday. I’m not in a stellar mood.
DID YOU WATCH GAME OF THRONES? WERE YOU PISSED TOOO? If you didn’t just skip this part and scroll to the next bullet. Are we really supposed to live for the next 9 months on that alone? I mean really HBO. That’s the ending? Why didn’t you just end the freaking season at the Red Wedding episode. I mean really. If you were going to have such a lackluster ending to the season.. I mean COME ON. I was waited the entire time for something – ANYTHING – to happen. The closest thing was Grampy Lanister sending little shit Joffrey to bed without his supper. Oh and that guy receiving his son’s penis via Medieval Express. That was pretty bad ass how his sister was like “I’M BRINGING HIM HOME.” Go girl! And seriously. Like two weeks without my Khaleesi and you bring her back for the last 3 minutes? Jerks. Now that True Blood is starting back up I should be all like “Well at least I have this,” but that whole series is like ‘WTF?’ and ‘HUH?’ to me now. Vampires are like so last year.. or something. Twilight’s over. I have no more vampy love.
Saturday was Lisa’s surprise Goodbye Party – AND BOY WAS SHE SURPRISED!
Heh. Of course, I got the balloons in Blue and yellow for the Swedish Flag – because I’m awesome and think like that. It was a great time, where I ate too much, had too many cupcakes, and should not have had alcohol because Saturday night was also….
My race. See how unsure I look? that’s because my stomach, at this very moment was like “HAHA. YOU’RE NOT RUNNING.” It was like “Bitch it’s time to sleep!” My legs were like “Yo, maybe you should listen to stomach. I think this whole running thing might be a bad idea. I think you aren’t prepared for this.” My mind was like “You have to run 1 mile, that’s it. RUN STREAK!” My heart was like “You can do this, I believe in you.” While my face is saying “Balls.” It was slow. Hot. I felt myself almost vomit like 4 times. I ran the first mile in 9’11″, and everything after that was horrible. My final time was 43’34″ which is 3 minutes and 56 seconds slower than my 4 mile time on Mother’s Day. The fact I didn’t vomit on the course (or at all) is a win.
Sunday was another day of fun and running around. We met Lisa at 1:00pm for lunch at Chop’t and then we traveled to DC to see the Munch exhibit at the National Gallery.
And then Lisa took a quick visit to Stockholm
All in all it was a good day. We dropped Lisa off, and then did our grocery shopping before heading home to continue the bad choices in eating with Tony’s Pizza and Game of Thrones.
Needless to say my Workout at 5:30 am did not happen – but lucky for me I don’t have class in person tonight so I can get it in after work. Day 15 of the Run Streak and Day 1 of Stage 4 of NROLFW! Let’s do this!
HAPPY FRIDAY! Oh my did this week fly by or what? I’m actually happy because it seems like things are moving along in the right direction with school. I’m not really stressed yet, except when finding parking and then running through the rain in a dress and flip flops, and that is a good sign. I can do this. I can do 6 credits in a fast track setting for 8 weeks over the summer. I CAN.
Runner’s World Run Streak Day 12 in the books with a 3 miler this morning. I played around – since I was on the treadmill – with pushing myself. I did the following running workout – which basically had me at an average pace of 6.0 mph:
2 min @ 5.5 mph
3 min @ 6.2 mph
2 min @ 5.5 mph
3 min @ 6.2 mph
1 min @ 5.5 mph
1 min @ 7.0 mph
repeat for 5x total
2 min @ 5.5 mph
2 min @6.2 mph
2 min @ 5.5 mph
2 min @ 6.2 mph
2 min @ 5.5 mph
Cool Down at 4.0 mph
Because I am crazy and a sucker for countdowns and challenges, I will also be starting this tomorrow:
A few extra squats couldn’t hurt, right? Lord knows I could use more butt strength. Fear the butt.
I am getting more and more fearful of crossfit people – mainly because I feel like they look at me and wonder “Can I deadlift her? Would she be a PR?” I don’t feel judged by them, not at all! Every single one I have come in contact with has been more than pleasant (actually some have even been nicer than runners I have come in contact with!) but I feel like a barbell with a set amount of weight to them. I get that up and down look. Like hungry people see people turn into “food” at least in cartoons, and I turn into a barbell. These are the things I think about when left to my own devices. You’ve been warned.
I’ve been taking a conugated linoleic acid (CLA) supplement recently after it was introduced to me by another person on the NROLFW board. While it’s not a diet pill, it can aid in the use of fat as fuel for workouts. Because I am still running so much I was worried that I would be burning muscle I was building, but this is supposed to aid in that, I guess? From Wikipedia:
The most promising science around CLA concerns its effect on weight management. Thirty-five intervention studies have been conducted using CLA in humans to investigate the effects of CLA on weight management. These studies, which vary widely in CLA dose and duration, show the most significant effect of CLA on weight management is on body composition, a reduction in total body fat and an increase in lean body mass. The effect of CLA on fat mass is modest and at the recommended dosage of 3.2 g/day produces a statistically significant 90 g fat loss per week (about 1 lb in 5 wk) as shown by a 2007 meta-analysis. Doses higher than the recommended 3.2g do not seem to have any additional effects on body fat reduction. Another meta-analysis found that CLA supplementation produces about 1% increased growth in targeted lean body mass per week With the simultaneous decrease in fat mass coupled with increases in lean body mass, often the net change in weight is small. However, the effects of CLA on body composition is a healthy effect, since the degree of fat mass is related to many causes of mortality and lean body mass burns more calories than fat mass, which may help to increase resting metabolic rates. CLA use itself is not an answer to the prevalence of obesity, but it can be a useful tool in addition to a healthy lifestyle and exercise program to achieve and maintain a healthy body weight.
Since I am focusing more on getting rid of the jiggle juggle in my body than the number on the scale, after speaking with my doctor, I decided I’d try it out. Not sure if it’s from the CLA, or that everything is finally starting to work, but I have a good amount of energy, and I have no adverse effects. So something that occurs naturally is just getting an added dose. We’ll see how I feel once the bottle I have is empty.
What are you up to this weekend? I have my next race tomorrow night! Twilight 4 Miler in Ashburn! YAY NIGHT RACES!
Woke up this morning after the first night back with A/C working in the house. It was a beautiful restful sleep. I was only doing 2 miles on the treadmill because it’s technically not a run day, but because of the Run Streak and the fact I am not lifting this week, I had to do at least 1 mile, and decided to actually get a workout in so I did 2 miles. 2.0 Miles – 20’18″ (Not too shabby).
First day of Class 1 was yesterday, and my teacher is hilarious. HILARIOUS. He is eccentric, different, brilliant, and amazing. He also co-wrote a book I just purchased, as I am sure it will come in handy with research I need to do this fall. And because of my Amazon Prime free trial, I am getting it on Thursday!
I’ve decided next week (Which starts for me on Friday’s after I weigh in) I will have an Activity Point Goal. On Weight Watchers, you earn Activity Points for working out. These can be measured by going to your tracker, finding the activity you did, and entering the duration you did it. A lot of people find this way to be a bit misleading, as they don’t think the points calculated are accurate. For instance:
On Saturday I ran 4 Miles and burned 564 calories. Punching in “Running” and 40 minutes to the tracker I get 9 Activity Points, where as on My Fitness Pal I would just simply get 564 more calories a day. If you aren’t familiar with Weight Watchers, 9 APs is a lot. It’s more than I usually eat for lunch. So a lot of people don’t trust simply entering it into the tracker.
So then Weight Watchers unveiled “ActiveLink”. They jumped on the FitBit bandwagon (among others) and fashioned a clip that you wear all the time and it measures your activity expenditure. You then plug it into you computer (I think) and it uploads (?) your activity to the WW website and spits out your points for the week. I think this is a lot more reliable, because even though me and So and So weigh the same and run for the same amount of time, it doesn’t mean I burn the same as her. I run a lot so it takes a lot for my Heart Rate to get high. Everyone is different. But I elect for option C, because I don’t want to pay for an ActiveLink:
I take my Calories and divide them by 75 (an arbitrary number that a good portion of WWer’s use on Twitter to figure out APs) and that is my AP for that exercise. So this morning I burned 302 calories running / 75 = ~4. So I earned 4 APs for this morning’s run.
Now you know more than you ever wanted to know about APs. You are welcome. Go conquer the world.
I am still upset over Game of Thrones – if you don’t watch, you won’t get it, so I won’t go into detail, but man. I AM JUST BROKEN. AND DESTROYED.
Bachelorette – lordy. What is wrong with this bitch? THIS IS NOT A FAIRYTALE. CINDERELLA NEVER HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN 25 MEN. THAT IS WHAT WE CALL A SLUT TALE. GEEZE. Anyhoodle, last nights episode affirmed my thought that she is three sheets to crazy. First one on one date with her first choice – Brooks. Okay he’s cute, I get it. He has a great jawline, hairline, butt line. I see the package. I see why he was her first choice. But their date is going to a Bridal Gown Shop (WHAT IN THE LOVING EFF?) and they dress up like a bride and groom, go to a cupcake truck, get surrounded by fans (Fans? Really?) and then they go to the Hollywood sign and have a little cuddletime as “Newlyweds.” Um. First date.. and this is what you choose? This is like when Coutrney was like “I planned a fake wedding!” And Ben was all like “durrrrrrrr.”
Sound it out… you almost got it…
Then the group date was a rap video with “Souja Boy”. Right. Which was called “All the Right Reasons”. When the guys had private time with Des, Ben (The guy who used his Kid as a pawn in this game on night one – not the dumbass above) was like I wanna kiss you – and then they did, and he was like “This will be our little secret.” Um Idiot… she already kissed Brooks. So then he gets a rose, obviously.
The second one on one date was with Bryden (?) and he got all emotional because he almost died in a truck accident, and that’s why he’s all deep and introspective. He even happened to be carrying pictures of his mangled truck and face. So OF COURSE he gets a rose. He also got her into a bikini and in a hot tub. BUT he lacks moves. There was the awkwardness of them staring at each other, and she is like come on… make a move and he just looks away. So she says “Oh just kiss me already.” And he still doesn’t move. So she kind of pathetically lunged at him. Poor Des. Poor Mangled Bryden. Poor Chris Harrison having to still host this show.
So then at the cocktail party, everyone is vying for time with her before she makes her final decision, and this guy (I can’t remember his name) comes up and is like “I need to tell her I have type 1 diabetes.” I’ll call him Diabeetus. I get that all the guys without abusive or sordid pasts need to pretty much play whatever hand they are dealt, and use any medical issue to their advantage as why they need her to love and heal them, but seriously dude. If you got that shit under control, that is not something you need to bring up and be like “Yeah… it’s been really hard dealing with this.” You’ve been good for 16 years. It’s not like you just found out. That is like a 3rd date convo (yeah I’m a bitch, but this is a game.. and he is playing with a wonky defense.) Well while he is pouring his heart out, who should come in but Ben! BUT HE ALREADY HAS A ROSE. HE IS SAFE THIS WEEK. WHAT THE HELL. He and Des sneak off and kiss again (Secretly!) and Diabeetus gets his panties in a twist about it. He confronts Ben and is like “that’s not cool” and all the other guys say the same thing. He’s like “I’m here for Des!”
She sends home the token Black Guy who can’t dance, and 2 other white dudes that I don’t remember being there.
Morning all! It’s a Rainy One in the DC/VA/MD area and there were many accidents on all roads – the inner loop of the beltway was pretty much at a standstill for 3 hours before Connecticut Ave. due to a tractor trailer accident. Can you imagine? Being stuck in the same spot for 3 hours? omg. I just can’t.
Lucky for me, I don’t have to go anywhere near the Beltway to get to work or school – or anywhere I usually go for that matter – So I sailed by a bunch of fender benders, nothing serious, but still.
66 East Bound
I woke up at 5:40 am – supposed to be 5:25 but whatever – and then changed quickly and went downstairs to bang out my 3.0 miles for the day. It was TOUGH. Actually it was so tough that it was TUFF. I struggled, had to jump off a few times, felt like I was going to vomit, etc. I know this is because of dehydration (I sucked at drinking water this weekend) and lack of sleep.
Our AC unit is getting fixed today – THANK GOD – so the Husband is home waiting for them to arrive. Should be any moment. $6700 bucks. To say things are going to be tight for a while is an understatement.
I am not awake.
I start class tonight. SUMMER SESSION! In 8 weeks I’ll be done, but still. My God. So much work. I just populated my folders for my assignments in Google Docs (Where I keep my existence) and now I am less overwhelmed. Except for one thing…
WHY DO THEY MAKE US DO THIS? Seriously. We are adults. I don’t think it’s fair for me to have to rely on someone else to do their share so I pass. NOT COOL. I’ll work my way through it. After this week, I plan on spending next weekend working through as many of the assignments as I can, so it will be a simple publish and submit on Blackboard when they are due.
This should be interesting to say the least!
Plan for the Day:
Workout: 3.0 miles + Cool Down – DONE
Breakfast: Bagel Thin w/ Cream Cheese, Coffee w/milk, Protein Shake
Lunch: Spaghetti Squash, Keilbasa and pasta sauce, yogurt
I’ve realized that not only my focus on the scale, and the number it exudes when I step on it, is not the only bad habit I have when it comes to my weight loss/fat loss journey. I also then publicly post my loss or more recently my gains and then berate my actions from the past week in an effort to shame myself into not repeating them. Well obviously this hasn’t worked. I think the negativity I put on myself on the daily is only compounded by the fact that I am self deprecating (and most of the time not in a funny way) on this blog. How am I supposed to motivate anyone else to do anything healthy if all I do is show myself doing these things in a negative light?
I am going to continue to trust the process. I am going to continue to workout and lift heavy and be hopeful.
I did not workout this morning. I woke up at 4:00am having to use the little girls room, and the minute I put my weight on my feet, my legs ached. It was Friday. All of my workouts were coming back to hit full on. Once classes start on Monday (UGH) I will be in class Monday – Thursday 4:30-7:10, so working out in the morning is my only option. For those days I plan on working out in the morning. But Friday’s? I’m free once work is done. Why not give myself a break from the early morning and workout in the afternoon? Exactly. Studies conducted in my basement show it doesn’t matter when I workout, as long as I workout.
So I am starting today, again. Like every Friday after I check the scale and then threaten to jump off the roof, I am coming back down and realizing that things take time. Things that are worth it take time. It will happen. I just have to trust the process and follow though.
Out exercise a bad diet. It might work some weeks, but really if you eat like crap it will not workout for your in the long run.
Be mad when I ‘only Burn 300 calories’ during my weights workout. The after burn isn’t measured. The muscle I am building from these workouts isn’t visible immediately. I feel defeated if I don’t burn like 600 calories a day, but really, I should be proud I burned that much JUST doing weights. A friend of mine who kills it at each weight workout has to go for like an hour to burn that much, and I am doing it in half the time (Heavier people burn more calories in general).
THINK THAT MY CALORIE BURN IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS
THINK THAT THE SCALE IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS
Listen to a million different trainers and expect to get results. This is where I really struggle. When I get overwhelmed or think that I am obviously failing at (Insert lifestyle change here) I immediately go to the Internet and start googling everything. I then get a few tips from every site I find and start putting them all into motion, which just ends up with me being overwhelmed and confused and not successful.
My plan: Stick with Weight Watchers, Running, and NROLFW. Eat cleanly as much as possible, hydrate like a boss, and get more sleep.
Guess who woke up early again and worked out? This girl. Yep. 320 calories burned with NROLFW Stg3 B4 & 15 minutes of interval run/walking. I satisfied day 4 of the Runner’s World Run Streak and I finished up Stage 3 of NROLFW! I’ll update the NROLFW Page this afternoon with my measurements and such. I don’t notice a massive change in this stage – it was a short one really – appearance wise, but I am noticing that my lifts are getting easier. My form still sucks at times, but that’s because for some reason I am trying to rush every move. I need to slow down. This is where working out with a buddy would help. Oh well. Stage 4 I am going to make an effort to take the full rest period between sets, and really focus on form with each move. I say that now, but who knows what will actually occur (most likely more of the same)
Tomorrow is a run day – aiming for 3.1 miles (same old same old) and I will likely do this in the morning. I like getting up early and getting this done so that in the afternoon, if I so wish to sit on my bum and do nothing, I have that option. Hurrah for laziness after 3pm!
I can’t believe it’s Thursday. I know it is a short week because of the Holiday and all, but still. It went by soooooo quickly. Friday’s are usually dead around here given that my Parent company (those I contract for) has 9/80 work weeks. This means, that the employees work 9 hours a day for for 9 days and take every other Friday off. Um, can I get in on that? After almost 4 years of asking, the answer is still no. I know I could attempt to use it as a bargaining chip “Don’t give me a raise, just let me do 9/80!” but then they would have to do that for everyone, and well, then the world would apparently implode.
Is it weird that I talk to my baby muscles? I urge them to grow and promise them things like steak and extra protein shakes if they burn off the fat that surrounds them. I figure it’s one thing I haven’t tried, so why the hell not? May be they just need a little TLC.
Yesterday at around 2:00 I crashed. Hard. I was sitting at my desk and the entire room got warm and cozy like. I closed my eyes for a moment and felt myself drift and then realized I was at work. This is bad. I need to go to bed earlier if these early morning workouts will continue. I also need a barbell still.
I bought sandals this morning, because The Londoner had them in her post and I was like “OMG THOSE ARE THE SANDALS I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR.” Style, color, everything. They were from TopShop, and luckily reasonably priced, and my size was somehow available. For the big footed women of the world, we don’t have many options as it seems we all like the same shoes, and there is a group of us somewhere who go around and buy all the cute ones up, leaving the rest of us with well, the not so cute ones. So I immediately bought them. This ruins my ‘Don’t buy anything for yourself in May.” rule, but I figure with the cheaper shipping I won’t have them till June, so it all evens out.
I will affectionately refer to them as my Jesus Sandals. He would have totally rocked these back in the day.
I am beginning to like where this year is going. I know, Little Late Bethany… but with classes starting on Monday and the countdown till Lisa moves to Sweden chugging along, there is a lot of change afoot. I am excited by it, well except for Lisa leaving.. I’m excited for her, yes, but not for her to leave. Why does Sweden have to be so darn far? But nonetheless, things are changing. Happy things. Good things. School things. I am hoping that this summer session goes by as quickly as I imagine it will. 8 weeks of classes. Luckily some of those Mondays/Wednesdays I’ll be meeting online so I won’t have to immediately rush to campus after work, I can mosey on home and then do homework. I am lucky in that I have the ability to get shit done quickly and still have it be “A” work.
I am really looking forward to The Husbands and my mini-vacation in August to Chincoteague. The beach will be a nice change, and the sun will be great. I can sit on the sand under an umbrella and read alllllll day. I’ll have my cooler filled with water and fruit next to me, and my SPF 70000 on. Life will be grand. The Husband can go off and run through the water, chase seagulls, or capture fish… whatever he normally does on vacation at the beach. I’ll just sleep. It will be soooooo nice.
Plan of the Day:
Breakfast: Bagel thin, Cream Cheese, Coffee w/milk, Protein Smoothie
Lunch: Spinach Salad, yogurt, Apple
Snack: Baby Carrots & Banana
Dinner: Some sort of Salad dish without lettuce. I’ll let you know how it goes
Oh, my eating. What am I going to do with you? This weekend wasn’t as big of a fail as it could have been. I could have added funnel cake at the ball park and another beer. I could have had a third slice of pizza, or ordered the large sundae. I could have indulged in the key lime pie at my in laws (I hate key lime pie), I could have had even more food last night at my parents house. I could have… could…. have…… But I didn’t. I am by no means congratulating myself on my efforts to stop at certain points. I am simply stating that it could have been worse. BUT. It also could have been better. Scale aside, I feel gross. I feel bloated, huge, expanded, sluggish, unable to get comfortable in the upright position. Back on the wagon today. I’ve pre-tracked everything.
Breakfast: Protein Smoothie, Coffee w/ skim milk, Bagel thin with a bit of spreadable cheese (I woke up too late for eggs)
Snack: Fresh Cherries
Lunch: Spinach Salad w/ apple, walnuts, gorgonzola and onion, yogurt
Snack: Apple & Baby Carrots
Dinner: Chicken Stir Fry with Asian Slaw
Water Goal: 128 ounces (or one gallon)
Activity: NROLFW Stg 3 A4 & 1 Mile Run
How am I already almost done with Stage 3? This is craziness, and officially the longest I have stuck with a weight program. I am thinking after this one is over, I’ll buy the Ab one. Because my Keg of a stomach is no longer a funny joke I like to make. I don’t really want a six pack, I would just settle for sitting down and not having to suck in for the entire duration of my seated expenditure.
I also bought “Get Clean” Detox Tea from Republic of Teas this weekend, and I love the taste. Before someone starts harping on me that Detoxes don’t work – this isn’t for weight loss. It actually doesn’t promote weight loss. It does the following:
Herb Tea for Detoxing – Had too much of a good thing? Feeling out of balance, a bit heavy or puffy? Then it’s time to get clean.
This gentle naturally caffeine-free herbal detox blend helps the body as it helps to stimulate the liver*, one of our natural cleansing mechanisms.
I had a cup last night and one this morning (the label says drink 2 cups a day or something) and frankly the way I have treated my liver, I need this. And also it’s tea, I’m not expecting to have some more powerful liver after this, but if I rebound from a hangover faster as a result – then let’s do it.
I am addicted to Facebook Games now. Farm Heroes, Candy Crush, Papa Pear, Pet Rescue… AGH. I swore I would never be that person, but I am. I AM. It started with Chef World or something back in the day, and The Husband made me delete it because I would put off going out for a certain period of time so I could serve my guests. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. So after reflection I stopped playing. Now I am back to playing other games, and it sickens me. But I love them so much. SO MUCH.
Can we just talk about the Law and Order SVU season Finale? WTF NBC? You’re gonna put Benson in MORTAL DANGER and then cut to black for the next 3 months? TSK TSK. WELL PLAYED.
The Bachelorette is Back!
Des from last season. She’s pretty, down to earth, etc. Girl Next Door. Whatever. I hope she’s not boring. I mean she kicked a guy off last night because he proceeded (3 TIMES) to try to get her to his make shift Fantasy Suite on night one. Huh? What was with the magician? And the shirtless guy? And the guy in a suit of Armor? Also, Social media guy? Saying “HashTag (Insert whatever is going on at the moment)” is really dumb. You are a loser, and you are giving all of us tweeters and other Social Media losers an EVEN WORSE name. Just stop it. The guy I thought was attractive was Larry, the ER doctor, but he got kicked off. Most likely because he ripped her dress, and acted like a complete idiot bringing up the failed Dip over and over and over again. The new guy I am rooting for is Brooks. Holy Hottness Batman.
Oh… Just… Yes.
Anyhoodle, I am happy that tomorrow is Wednesday. This week needs to go by fast so I can sleep again. Next week starts my Summer session, so I’ll be living in Educational Psychology and Young Adult Literature all Summer. Envious? I bet. I just got the schedules for both of my classes, and while one will meet in person every class the other has a hybrid model which will allow me to meet the class online. Thank Jesus. So my workouts will suffer in their frequency, but not that long. It just means I have to be on point with my eating, and not let the College aspect of life get the best of me. I can and will do this. I will also maintain my 4.0 GPA, darn it.
We all have those days where everything that could go wrong does. Except I didn’t have one of those days. I had an awesome day up until it wasn’t. Everything was going well, and then it didn’t go well. Then it messed up. Then something big messed up. It wasn’t my fault, but being caught in the cross hairs, I’m involved. I’m not sure what is going to happen from it, but I know it’s long from being over.
I ate my stress and feelings yesterday. I still tracked, and even with being On Plan and exercising today, I’ll still be over my points by a lot. I’m okay with this, because frankly, sitting and wallowing never did anyone any favors.
I think it’s very easy to fall back into the same old routine. Eat too much, don’t workout, and then feel bad for myself. I used to say this was so hard. But really that’s easy. What’s hard is not doing those things. I claim to be strong, and I claim to want this. So if I want it so badly, then I should just do it. I should just choose this hard, over the hard of being overweight, tired, sluggish, mad at myself, self deprecating, and loathing. I started saying that I had to compete with others because they were losing weight/getting thin/looking fabulous, but I can’t anymore. I am not them. They have other things going on, other things building towards their success.
I have me, my sneakers, my weights, and the road.
The past is exactly that. The past. I can’t change it. I can’t go back and rewrite it. I don’t want to. I want to rewrite the future. I know what most people expect me to become. I know what most people think I will do. I know that because I am not following Paleo after 6 weeks of trying – and gaining weight, not fitting into clothes, and feeling like my stomach was being torn apart day after day, makes some people feel like I didn’t try hard enough at it, or I didn’t wait as long. I know the fact that I am back on Weight Watchers, to some feels like me giving in to the hype, and that it won’t work, and I’ll be back to finding some other plan to follow eventually. Well they aren’t right.
A plan works, no matter what it is, if you work it. You can lose weight on Bob Harpers Skinny Rules of 800 calories a day. It is possible. It’s by no means healthy, but if losing weight is your only goal, then yes, it can be done. Diet pills do work, if you follow the plan. It’s not long lasting, and not healthy, but it works.
There are choices to be made by everyone. I am choosing to continue with Weight Watchers, lifting, and running and if that doesn’t make me look like this:
I’m really okay with that. I know that this is a goal for some women. I really don’t need/want to be that muscular. I just want to be stronger than I am. A little less jiggly. Could I be the above picture? SURE! (Without the tan) I could most certainly attain that with enough hard work. But I’d settle for this:
I know I am not fat, but I have fat to lose. I know I’m not obese, but I am not where I want to be. So I will keep chugging along. I feel better when I am on plan, not just mentally, but physically. My body functions better. My running is better. My lifting is better. I feel better.
So after having a pretty bad day, that shook me deeper than I have in a while, I am emerging, much like a cicada does, with a new purpose. My purpose is to be happy (unlike the cicadas, who emerge to have sex and then die). I am choosing to be happy, and with that, loving myself.
Things I love:
My legs are strong. I can run for long distances and they carry me across every finish line.
My shoulders have become stronger making shoulder presses easier, but not too easy
It’s summer so my eyes are a crisp blue – which I love
My feet, although a bit beat up being runners feet, are still strong and improving in their movement during my landing
What do you love about your body?
What choice have you made to make yourself a better person?
I’m lifting and running today, what are you doing to move?