Tuesday Morning Run #RunHappy


I DID IT.  I got my butt out of bed at 5:20, fed the dogs, laced up my shoes and went out for 3-ish miles.

photo 1

Prepared.

I finally got to wear my reflective vest!  You know, because wearing one while running inside might make you feel cool, but not more visible than you already are.

I set out, at first nervous, then I felt good, then my legs sucked, then the heat was getting to me (It wasn’t actually hot, I just told myself it was) and then my evil thoughts crept in.  I need to learn to banish those.   I slowed quickly.  Most likely because I have been running, yet again, on the treadmill, and not breathing right, and being lazy, and tired.

BUT.

I found this…

Trash Treasure

Trash Treasure

It was SO cool.  I stopped to inspect (and of course take this picture) and then thought about what kind of crossfit workout that would be to carry this beast home while finishing my run.  Before I threw on my gloves, pounded my chest, and activated beast mode, I took a whiff of air through my nose.

Death.  It smelled like actual death.  It also, upon further and closer inspection, had a mysterious stain.  All of these reasons are most likely why it is on the curb for trash pick up.  But I wanted to make sure.

I resigned to only have a slightly parkour run, so I jumped on and off some curbs and hurdled some sprinklers to make myself feel better.

It was not the best run, it was def. not my fastest or most comfortable.  But, it was mine, and it was done prior to work and that, my friends, enemies, lovers, and family is all that matters.

The face of accomplishment

The face of accomplishment

Nothing spectacular planned for today, but work, and then a doctors appointment.  I plan on going home and sitting on my ass, because hey, I earned it this morning.  I just really hope in all my exhaustion that when I do get home I don’t immediately lace up and try to run again.

HAH.  Who am I kidding.  I’m not going to forget that this is done.  PLEASE.

#Runhappy

#Runhappy

Bachelorette Week 4(?) Monday Episode – DRAMZ


So here we are again! Part 2 of this weeks double header, and this one, wow.  This one actually blew me away.  kind of like Game of Thrones did this past week too with one my favorite characters dying (I guess this could really be any week, but I digress).

So.. We are in Connecticut!  Exciting!  Seriously, what is with these locations… I mean Miami last season with Juany-Poo was his hometown (not the actual meet the parents date) but Miami has things to do.  Des went to Atlantic City to see the havoc that Hurricane Sandy had done.  ROMANTIC.

The guys walk into their suite and are told to be REALLY EXCITED ABOUT IT.

“This is the nicest hotel I’ve ever been in,” was stated at least 9 times (the contract required 8).

We start with the first date card which is a one on one with Dylan – YAY Dylan! – He really wanted some one on one time to talk to Andi about his life, where he comes from, and who he is.  While his story is really sad, I’m like, ABC… do you go find the most damaged guy out there and get his hopes up that this show WILL heal him?

Yay Alcohol Makes Everything Better

They take a steam train along the river where Andi is like “Wow isn’t this nice?” and Dylan is all like “Yeah I used to swim there.”  (Stares off into the distance).

He brings up his ex-fiance and then how when she got engaged again, it stung.  But mostly because it was the day after his sibling died.

Refresh my drink.  What?  that’s how he chose to bring that up?

Andi is all like “Oh.” and he gets silent, and she actually looks at the camera like “UM, HELP?”

It pans to her alone interview with the camera where she says “I know he has a story that he wants to tell me.  Hopefully he’ll open up to me and may be it will help being at dinner.”  Because, more alcohol.

The rest of the ride is kind of awkward, I mean it was for me, so I am sure it was hella awkward for them.

They had dinner where Dylan spilled his guts that both his sister and brother had died from drug overdoses.  He begs Andi not to keep him here because she feels bad for him.  Andi was all like “Awwwwwww….”

and then he got the one on one date rose.  Because how could she not.  I mean really.

“Oh that sucks about your world crashing down… and Imma let you finish that, but…”

So the group date!

They are playing Basketball with members of the WNBA (Women’s Pro Basketball if you didn’t know).

How many times do you think they had to film the scene of Andi making a basket?  Do you think someone else did it for her with camera tricks?  Discuss.

Chris is all excited because he is a basketball coach.  The other guys are excited because the date isn’t as lame as before.

Lindsey Harding of the LA Sparks has the quote of the night “I really hope they have more game off the court than they do on the court.”  BOYS YOU BETTER GET SOME ALOE BECUZ YOU JUST GOT BURNED.

Then totally UNSCRIPTED, they decide that they are going to break up the men into teams, and which ever team wins, gets the rest of the night with Andi, whilst the others must go back to the hotel room.

Apparently this message didn’t get to the production department because they only had six jerseys.  So the other team had to wear inside out jerseys with sharpie marker on them.  I wonder who is going to win this.

Rosebud Team: Nick, Cody, Andrew, Eric, Marquel (LOVE), Brian

Other team without name: Josh, JJ, Chris, Patrick, Tasos

At halftime there was a 6-6 tie.  So either the team is only making a basket every 8 minutes or the entire game is 12 minutes long.  They don’t look too winded, so I am going to go with short game.

Marquel gets all cocky and says that the other team is going to go back to the hotel and eat cereal, or you know whatever losers eat.  Oh burn.

More random quotes are thrown around that don’t make sense, and the Rosebud’s win.

ROSEBUD…

The other team must go back to the hotel room, but not before forlorn shots of them listening to the winners celebrate are captured.

The winners head off to the cocktail party where Andi kisses Nick V, because of course, and then… all hell breaks loose.

“I definitely feel like our relationship is not progressing, and I want to talk to him today about that.” Andi states about Eric.  He received the first one on one date.

Turns out he has some concerns of his own - primarily that attempting to have a normal date with someone on a reality TV show is (shocker) a lot harder than it looks. “Every one-on-one time we’ve had – it’s so formal,” he complains to Andi. “Even the way that we’re sitting and the way that we’re dressed. This isn’t really me.” Eric hopes they’ll dispense with the “formality” of the situation and get down to real, human-being dates soon enough — which is a lovely sentiment but a total pipe dream. “It worries me that we don’t thrive in [this] setting,” the Bachelorette tells him, adding that she still doesn’t know anything about Eric’s family.

Thankfully Brian comes in a swoops Andi off to the basketball court where he sinks a shot from the half point on the court, and this is the perfect moment for a kiss, but his nerves take over and he backs out.  My husband remarked “this is because he is like me.”  I beg to differ man who made out with me a train station on our first date, but okay….

Brian gets the group date rose for being the MVP.

The next one on one date goes to Mopey-Marcus.  I really can’t stand this guy.  They are going to “Face their fears” and scale down a building.  Why?  Because TV.  If I was ever on this show I would say my biggest fears were unlimited shopping sprees, long afternoon naps, and gelato.

Lace up kids, because come hell or high water you are going down that building.  If Chris Harrison has to come and push you off himself.

“I need to be the man in this relationship and hide my fear.”  Right.

They of course kiss while doing this, because, TV.

They have the ‘We didn’t die” dinner where Marcus goes a bit overboard.  You see, the guy hasn’t had a case of the feels since his ex-girlfriend dumped him “out of the blue” three years ago — but now he can’t stop hemorrhaging romantic emotions.  Rose, John Pardi, and a premature declaration: “I am falling in love with you,” Marcus yells into Andi’s ear over the twang of John Pardi’s guitar. “It’s the scariest thing in my life right now.”

He of course, gets a rose and an unforgettable concert from some guy no one has heard of now, and will never hear from again.

Where is Train?

Andi receives a secret admirer letter and gets all giddy.. these guys are pulling out all the stops aren’t they?  She heads into the cocktail party, feeling extra special and happy.  (Her bedazzled strapless gown looks to be held up by nothing but optimism and a smile.) Marquel, bless him, uses his one-on-one time to teach Andi some UFC-approved self-defense moves, but getting Andi to put him in a “rear naked choke” hold is as close as he gets to a kiss. It’s all fun and games until “E-Money” (aka Eric) interrupts to steal Andi away. He’s feeling defensive about their last conversation, and wants the Bachelorette to know it. “I’ve been really open with you,” he begins. “I feel like you’re not being [the real] Andi with me… I came on this to meet a person, not a TV actress.”

*Breaks Squealing* WHAT?

Normally I’d be all like “OH NO HE DIDN’T” but watching Andi get more and more upset about this, and realizing that she will be watching this back, and his family will be watching this, made me feel really uncomfortable.

“Am I comfortable and natural all the time? Not a chance,” fumes Andi. “But do I work my ass off and stay up late so that everyone knows that I’m here for them? Yeah I do. You have no idea how exhausted I am! You have no clue how it is to look at them in the face and send them home!”

Okay, so she’s crying now. I get why Team Bachelorette included this fight — I mean, catching emotional confrontations on film is their raison d’être — but boy do I wish they had trimmed several minutes out of this dust-up.

Whilst crying he says “This is the Andi I was talking about.”  With a smile, like that is gonna make it better.

Anyhow, Andi and Eric bid each other a tense goodbye, and then the Bachelorette marches back into the party to spray some rage shrapnel at the rest of the guys. “If any one of y’all thinks that this is a joke to me… you can just say it now and you can walk your ass on out,” she bawls, her voice steadily climbing up several octaves. “Every single day this is real to me.” And with that she storms out, while Team Bachelorette calls Eric a cab. Godspeed, sir.

Then, we find out there will be no rose ceremony.  They didn’t think it would be right.  So instead, Chris Harrison and Andi are going to talk about Eric.  Because you know, they know him best.

(Tasos got kicked off if you must know, which you do.)

That was the tribute to Eric Hill who died in a paragliding accident.  The group found out right after hometown dates in April.

There is no episode next week, so we’ll see you in two!

The Bachelorette – Week 2 – STRIP


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I am having so much scripted fun

Week 2 Ladies and Gents! ( Disclaimer – I stole A LOT of this from various blogs who do it better)

So it starts off with Andi changing into a tank top and shorts because she wants everyone to know that she isn’t high maintenance.

We then pan to the men who are standing in front of a large pile of fruit and stuff that we know none of them are going to eat.  This makes me feel for the starving children because seriously.  ABC you could have just stocked the fridge with booze and ramen and these guys would have been fine.

Except for Beef Cake Cody.  He would also need protein powder to mix in.

Meanwhile Craig is fixing up his second cocktail of the morning (My Man!) as Chris Harrison comes in trying not to look all judgey (I know son, it’s hard) and reminds the guys why they are here.  People forget, I realize this.

Chris – “It’s Andi.  A, N, D, I.”

Guys – “Ohhhhhhh.”  Some confusion from Cody, and Cocktail Craig, but he’s drunk so it’s okay.

Here are the rules of Week 2 – there will be two 1-on-1 dates, and one group date.  You get a rose, you stay.

First Date Card Goes to Eric (tear.)

Seriously, this guy is perfect.  He’s like a Ken doll with all the parts.  His smile is intoxicating, and he has a mind.  PLUS HE ISN’T A DOUCHE.

He knows how to build sand castles, fly a kite, execute a standing back flip and his blue eyes rival those of one Chris Harrison. He even has a humble answer when Andi teases him about riding in a helicopter because he’s probably done it a dozen times.

Eric: “Yes, but not with someone by my side. Isn’t the smog beautiful?”

The chopper lands on Bear Mountain. The pair exit, walking among the snow in bathing suits and flip flops. Because he is an explorer, Eric knew to grab a shirt before he left the beach and gallantly offers it to her. Before he can find two sticks to start camp fire, a lone snowboarder careens toward them.

 It was snowboarding aficionado Louie Vito. Where do you know him from you ask? Dancing with the Stars. from a few seasons ago. You’re welcome.

The Pro-Boarder is obviously only here for the money, as he loses patience quickly.  Andi pretty much sucks at this.  Eric, however, wanting that rose, takes the time to try and show her the mechanics of sliding down a hill.  I’m gonna be honest with you guys.  I’ve snowboarded.  It’s not too hard if all you are trying to do is go down a hill.  Most places have a gate that will eventually stop you, so you don’t even need to learn how to come to a stop on  your own.

Let the record state, Eric was snowboarded backwards the majority of the time.

During dinner that night she asks him about his travels. He absent-mindedly twirls her hair (in an endearing way…not an annoying way like Juan Pablo) and told her about how visiting Syria was the scariest moment of his life. She wisely asks if he would continue life-threatening adventures when he had a wife or kids and his answer was a simple no. He got the rose. Was it really that simple?  Could that conversation have been anymore normal?

Eric: “My biggest goal is to have a family. My list is short and I’ll do what I can do now because life is short.”

*sobs*

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Group Date: ‘Let’s Bare Our Souls” (Lord.)

Coach Brian, Marquel (LOVE), Opera Bradly, Cocktail Craig, Vidal Brett, Patdrew, BeefCake Cody, Fireman Carl, Tasos, Josh, Ron from Israel, Marcus, The other Nick, Hair Product Dylan

Andi stood at the top of the stairs  looking super uncomfortable as the clan of rowdy boys clamored up the steps with the brute force of a thousand Rocky Balboas, landing at the front door of the OHM Night Club. Andi’s “friend” Steve surveyed the group with the wariness of a waitress in charge of speed dating at the lounge.

Steve: “We are going to expose you to the art of male exotic dancing. You will need a mind as open as my shirt”

Andi: “Y’all. Don’t worry. I’ve been there before. It’s for charity, so it’s okay. START THE MUSIC!”

The men were forced into a spontaneous audition. Techno music bumped to the same beat as countless pelvic thrusts. Crotches were grabbed. Unmentionables were writhed. I haven’t been this uncomfortable than watching The Bodyguard with my Mom.

Steve: “Alright. We’re going to break you up into three groups and two solos. There will be cowboys, firemen, Army recruits, an aviator and a robot.”

A robot?  really?  I mean is it gonna be Iron Man?  Not with the suit, but simply Robert Downy Jr?

Carl the Firefighter was given the role of firefighter. What creative casting, ABC. Cocktail Craig was irritated that he had to be an average cowboy next to Josh who is obviously a sexy cowboy. I understand your dilemma Cocktail. Coach Brian promised his Mama he would go to church the next day. This can only mean that Coach has some moves. The Other Nick is the robot and is ready to shake his groove thing for Andi. Good luck Number 5.

I am not sure I can comment much on the actual performances because my eyes are still burning. The one that stood out the most to me was Marcus who was the Aviator.  It only stuck out because I kind of hated him the entire time.

By the way, they raised $213 for charity.  That is it.

That night they are all sitting around giving themselves pats on the back for the good work they just did.  Andi’s boobs are on display and the guys are all remaining silent, because boobs.

Coach Brian whisks her away for some boring alone time.

Then Josh canoodles Andi outside and makes her cross her heart that she won’t stereotype him as the awesome athlete. He’s just a guy who happens to be a former baseball player. IT’S NOT A BIG DEAL. He’s had his share of models, sure, but he’s just a normal average, hot guy who just so happens to be amazing at sports and can date anyone he wants because of the wonder that is Josh. HE CAN’T HELP IT. Don’t judge him because of his giftedness and amazing DNA.HE HASN’T DATED A GIRL IN FIVE YEARS. Of course that doesn’t count one-night stands, but that’s normal for someone with his undeniable star athlete status.

If you remember, Andi said she is used to dating people like Josh so she wants to branch out:

Exhibit A: Opera Man

Speaking of Opera Man, and all men who feel the need to do this – WHY ARE YOU SINGING ON YOUR FIRST DATE?  Stop.  Stop.  Stop.  Do what Marquel did.  Bring cookies.  Cookies always win.

Craig is three sheets to the wind at this point and is frantically scouring the grounds trying to find Andi. This, too, always happens.  Guys.  It’s date one.  Hold yourself back.  There will always be more liquor.

Andi is all types of upset that he is drunk, and she lectures the guys on why being drunk is annoying to those that aren’t drunk.  My response to this is ‘You’re doing nothing hard tomorrow, catch up to him and join the party.”

Marcus takes this chance to remove Andi from the “Horrible Situation” and comfort her outside.  They talk about the stripping and how liberating and scary it was.  Marcus agrees to donate the underwear he wore (which obviously brought in the most money) to further help the charity. He gets the date rose.

The next one on one date is with Farmer Chris (The Man I would Marry if I wasn’t Already Married)

Chris was all dolled up with Andi for a day at the races!  They sat in a VIP suite, betting on horses, sipping drinks, and visited with an old couple that has been married for 55 years.  I’m sure that couple is thinking “There is a reason we have lasted this long, and it’s obviously not from meeting on TV”.  Oh, ABC, and your false hope giving.

He convinces Andi he is there for the right reasons and gets the rose.  But Wait!  There’s More!

What could Andi have up her sleeve?  That’s right!  A concert with a band no one has ever heard of!

(This Wild Life)

Whilst Andi and Chris are dancing he goes in for the kiss – which you could tell Andi was like “Wait. What?” though she reciprocates because of the cameras (me thinks).  He tried to go in again and she was like ‘Nope’ in the most polite body language way possible.

Rose Ceremony

  • Cocktail Craig serenades Andi with a musical apology, and her graciousness is fading.
  • Marquel’s outfit is fabulous
  • Nick V created his own Date Card (Why has no one ever done this?  I mean gross guy from Des’ season tried to make their own fantasy suite on night one.. but that didn’t turn out well… so may be I’m wrong?) and Andi and him are obviously on the same page with what they want *Swooooon*
  • Then there is Josh.  She realllllly wants Josh.  Like badly.  He does a great job of acting like she is so intimidating, but when she leans in giving him the green light, he takes it.  Why wouldn’t he?  I mean Andi is kind of cute… if you like that sort of crazy eyes look.  She was pretty much begging him.

Eric, Marcus, and Farmer Chris already received roses, so the rest of the ‘winners’ are:

Ron from Israel, Greasy Hair Dylan, Pants Guy, Marquel (LOVE), Andrick, Tasos, Josh, Beefcake Cody, Nicky V, Patdrew, Coach Brian, Vidal Brett, Opera Bradly (Really?)

So she got rid of: Carl the Fireman (who cried…), The Other Nick, and Cocktail Craig.

Next week it’s SUNDAY and MONDAY!!!

Goodbye April/May Goals


This month has not been kind.  I have made some pretty poor choices and they kicked me in the butt.  I am attempting to make May the exact opposite and work towards a better me.  I think that the trip to Italy in a few weeks will aide in this, or it will make it worse if I come back 20 pounds heavier (That’s not the goal).

I felt pretty good about myself this week so far (well Monday and Tuesday at least).  I did Yoga Inferno via Jillian Michaels on Monday and my abs are still screaming.  Well, my abs that are underneath my pooch and stomach flab, they are screaming.  The fat is just like “I look weird when you do planks”.

30 Days of Weight Loss Humor, Day 6 - "DEATH to CARBS!"

Yesterday I ran on the dreadmill and managed to eek out 3 miles.  I figured that after not running for a week I’d be fresh and good to go – hah.  That never happens.

I’m still bummed about the Nike Half Marathon.  Like really bummed.  If I think about it long enough I actually tear up a bit.  I hate that my stupidity made that happen.

But on to the good things this month:

  • I am blessed with a great group at school for our final project.  It has gone swimmingly.
  • The big milestone meeting at work went well – in my mind – and everyone seemed to exit the room at least with a hint that we are on the right track.  Plus my slides were almost perfect.  No complaints from management for the most part.
  • I hung out with a friend from work (Forcing friendship!) in order to break out of my constant shell of just watching Netflix (although, there is nothing wrong with that).
  • I ran a 10 miler on the 6th that although wasn’t my best time, was a great route and I had so much fun.
  • I’m finishing up 1 of 2 classes today for my masters – and my last in class session for this program.  It’s scary to think that I will have a higher education degree soon.  The idea of a PhD is getting closer and closer.
  • We found and decided on getting another dog who will be coming home this weekend!  I’ll post pictures!

I am attempting to focus on the positive, and while that will be an interesting change of pace… I think it’s doable.

May Goals

  • Exercise in some way shape or form 5 days a week (Italy time will consist of walking everywhere… so that shouldn’t be hard.  Debating on buying a fitbit to measure all that)
  • Be more aware of what I am eating and make better choices (it’s hard to measure this, yes, but I think just staying within my points will be sufficient)
  • Lose Weight (Not a particular number, but I will weigh myself tomorrow, and will aim to be less than that come May 31)
  • Be more positive at work (Hah.  I think my coworkers will think I am on drugs, but oh well)
  • Run the Mother’s Day 4-Miler and may be not PR but do your best.

Defeating the Scale Tuesday – Week 7


  • Starting Weight: 190.8 pounds
  • Current Weight: 193.0
  • Week Difference: +1.6
  • Total Difference: +2.0
  • Emotion: Over it

I just, I can’t.  I can’t keep doing this.  I can’t keep letting myself down.  It has no explanation or excuse except I didn’t do it.  This isn’t because my body holds on to weight, or that I am bloated, or that it’s muscle over fat.

It’s that I just didn’t do it.

The scale number has come and gone, and I am just irking up closer to my weight when I started this whole thing 6 years ago.

I never really cared enough in high school to try and lose weight.  I figured that it wouldn’t happen because I wasn’t born that way, I wasn’t athletic, and well sitting in a parking lot eating taco bell and doing other destructive things to my body isn’t conducive to weight loss.

So what’s the plan?

I don’t have one.

The Before and After Weight loss Photos or Pictures by xyngitoff weight loss by vi vi90daychallengeI have no excuse.  “I can’t do it” is not true.  I can, and have before.  I am 20 pounds (TWENTY) pounds heavier than my lowest adult weight.  That was May 25, 2012.

I look back at that and think “GOD I WAS SO FAT”.

It’s depressing.

June 2012 – Not fat

I can’t fit into those pants now.  That shirt barely stays down because my stomach makes it roll up.

I would never wear something sleeveless now.

March 2012 – Not fat

April 2014 – May be not fat, but sure as heck not happy, not where I want to be

I think it’s a weird balance to strike.  I think that we will always seek improvement of ourselves, which is fine, but there needs to be a point of contentment or at least acceptance.

It’s no shocker that I am in therapy, and something she said last night was a real ‘A-ha’ moment, that I have to say people have told me before, but not as bluntly.

“You think you are the Queen of F***** Up.  Well I have news for you.  I’ve seen A LOT worse.  You aren’t even in the top 50%.  In comparison, you are not even bad.  You just think you are because you do nothing but compare yourself.  You compare yourself to the coworkers you have, the woman you see on the street, Kate Middleton, etc.  But what you don’t realize is NONE OF THEM are 100% happy.  If they say they are 100% happy with themselves and every aspect of their lives all the time, they are lying.  We all have insecurities, and we all have low points.  So yes, you might have more than some people, but you are still here.  You can change, but first you need to stop feeling so sorry for yourself and grow a pair.”

Harsh? May be.  What I needed?  I think so.

So on to another week.

 

 

Learning From Mistakes


“Failure is not something that you are, it’s something that you do.”  - I can’t remember who wrote this and google isn’t helping.

What a concept.  What a truth.

I am not a failure for my mistakes.  I have failed in the past.  The point is, what I learned from it.  The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.

I do this too.

So I fail at things and I am insane.

I can work with that.

Step 1 – What’s not Working?

I can’t have ice cream, chips, crackers, cookies, 100 calorie packs, etc in the house without overeating, and overeating hard.  Except every week at the grocery store, these items make it into my cart.  WHY?  because I am a glutton for punishment?  Because I don’t actually want to lose weight?  because I don’t have control?

That is all B.S.

I do have control.  I am a strong person who doesn’t need that cupcake, that milkshake, that frap from starbucks, the box of cereal, the 1/2 gallon of ice cream, or that 4th beer.

Okay sometimes I need the 4th beer.

I can’t keep eating the way I’ve been eating and expect things to change.

Step 2 – Removing the Problems

It’s easy to say “I won’t buy that stuff” but when I am at work with a cafe downstairs, a candy jar on my bosses desk, and people constantly bringing in delicious homemade items, it’s hard to stay accountable.

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So how do I do this?  Plan plan plan.  Bring snacks with me to work that are healthy – fruit, veggies, protein bars, chug water, lots of water.  STAY OUT OF THE WORK KITCHEN.  I don’t even put my lunch there, so why am I constantly venturing back there?  IN HOPE SOMEONE HAS DROPPED FOOD.

I’m like a dog really.

Step 3- You will slip up, so don’t beat yourself up

When I do slip up, which will happen, I can’t beat myself up about it, and I sure as heck can’t throw in the towel and say “I’ll start again tomorrow” I’m starting now.  Today I pack my breakfast, snacks, and lunch all up for me to bring to work.  I have confidently walked past the candy jar 3 times and not even looked at it (Okay I looked once).

I saw the scary number on the scale, and I thought that would shove me in the right direction, but instead I just got comfortable with it.  I got used to seeing the number on the scale and stopped letting it bother me.  Instead I would just blame myself and state that I am too weak to lose weight, and it will never happen.

That needs to stop.  Yes, it’s my fault, but those bad decisions don’t define me.  I need to grow up.

Step 4 – Stop Chasing My Tail

I just run.  All I do is run.  All I do is run and run and run.  At first I was like “BOOM LOSING WEIGHT!” then I was like “Man I am hungry ALL THE TIME.”  Then I was like “Oh I can eat whatever the heck I want because I ran X miles today!  BRING ON THE SHEET CAKE!”

Oh that doesn’t work, does it?

So I was running like a crazy person, eating like a crazy person, and then running more to burn off the food, which would then make me eat more.

Hello Plateau.

I pretty much went between the same 5 pounds for the past 6 months.  Well how am I going to fix this?  I’m running 3 races in the next 6 weeks, and running a bunch in the fall – INCLUDING A MARATHON.

easy peasy.  I’m adding in other workouts.  I’ve started my DVD collection again.  Dusted off some Bob Harper, some Jillian Michaels, some Firm DVDs, and I am getting to it.  I plan one rotating them so I don’t get bored or too used to one over the other.  I have the Biggest Loser Bootcamp which I talked about before (that kicked my butt).  I have the Firm Strength Training DVD (which always kicks my butt).  I also just got Jillian Michaels Kickbox Fast Fix – while I know it will not be a fast transition from flab to fab, I like the motivation it gives.

Step 5 – Rinse and Repeat

I will have good days, and bad days.  Heck, I might have GREAT days.  I might also have HORRIBLE days.  That is life.  So instead of dwelling on the horrible days, and the problems, I’ll hold on to the good days.  I’ll use those as motivation.  I’ll keep going with those.

 

Today:

B: 2 eggs, 3 strips of bacon, coffee, and a banana

S: Orange

L: Wrap with turkey, provolone, onion and grain mustard; yogurt; diced pears; carrots

S: Quest Nutrition Bar

D: Where ever I go it will be a salad with protein

Activity: 4 mile run & 20 push ups

Bachelor Recap – Part 1 of 2 Home Town Visits – Week 8


Here we go!

This is a Two Episode week, also known as, a gift from the gods of women who like to drink and overeat while swearing they will never be that desperate to go on to a reality show to meet the ‘love of their life’.  Also, myself.  The person who will simply make their husband watch this garbage to her hearts content.

It’s Hometowns!

For those just tuning in, hometowns week is when the Bachelor – Juany-Poo – goes to the 4 remaining women’s homes to meet their family, see where they live, and experience a little bit of them in their comfort zone – you know, real life.  Because nothing screams real life like having scripted drama.

We learned a few things this week about Juan Pablo.  He’s great with mom’s – he brings each one of them flowers – and he kind of sucks when it comes to fathers…. and guns.  Ain’t that the truth!

First we follow Juan and Nikki to her hometown of Kansas City, Missouri.  They eat Bar-be-que and do some bull riding.  After Juan rode the bull, Nikki rode it with him, which to me, seems a bit more scandalous then having a Gay Bachelor… But Whatever Juany-Poo.  This may be one of the most sexual things we have seen on TV, except for when you know, Clare slept with him in the Ocean.  Nikki’s parents seemed to like him, and she kept battling back and forth if she should tell him that she loved him or not… you know after like 2 weeks… but thankfully she held out.  Overall this date was extremely boring.

"The Bachelor"

Next up was Renee (MY FAVORITE.. and too good for this show).  She has a son as well, so I figured they would hit it off immediately, which obviously they did.  I also think the fact that she is not remotely part of any of the catty drama is a reason she has stuck around so long.  She is everyone’s friend, and really no one says anything bad about her.  She is always excited to spend time with him, even in a group setting, and never takes for granted anything given to her.

They ventured to Sarasota Florida, and went to her sons little league game.  She is such a mom, and it was so adorable how she acted with him in sight.  Oh yeah, and personality of a table Juan Pablo was there too.  He met her family and they said that it was obvious how crazy she was for him, but she, like Nikki, restrained when saying a I love you.

Next up! Andi – In Georgia.  They headed to the shooting range, where it is obvious that not everyone (or really anyone) can pick up a gun and simply ‘get the hang of it’.  He met her family, where her mom who seemed to just get happy over shiny things loved him, but her father was like “No.”  I saw my own father in this situation and thought ‘this would totally be him’ but then thought better of it, because my dad would NEVER have let me go on this show.

Yes, I am almost 30, and if my dad says “no” I will listen (not remotely like when I was a teenager and didn’t care, but I digress..).  He couldn’t give JP his blessing, because SHOCKER, he’s dating 3 other women.  WOW.  A man with common sense.  I think we are finally getting to the parents who actually care about their kids after 45 seasons of this bull.

Bachelor Hometown Dates

And lastly, but most crazy, Clare!  Sacramento California is where this load of insanity hails from.  They met in a park, where she again, became even more candid about the relationship she had with her late father.  In the house surrounded by women, everyone really seemed to open up to the idea of JP in Clare’s life, except for her sister Lara.

She didn’t really want JP to have any one on one time with their Mother, which came off as weird, but then it was evident that she was just really protective of her sister.  Her sister was acting more like an overprotective parent than her sister, which was just plain weird. It was so odd, in fact — that she must either be a.) insanely jealous of her younger, way, WAY prettier sibling, or b.) she simply couldn’t resist stealing the spotlight for a few minutes since there were TV crews all over the place.

Aww, how sweet.  JP and the mom ended up having a great conversation and connecting, which was a bit weird, because I didn’t think he could actually hold a conversation with a person for more than 2 minutes without singing in spanish.  But who knows what they edited out.

UntitledThen the elimination…

He sent Renee home.

*collective sob*

“’m actually glad Renee’s going home to Ben; I think he’s more special to her than Juan Pablo was. It wasn’t easy for JP either, and you could tell he was seriously hurt since he was crying more than she was. After the elimination, she told Juan Pablo that she had fallen in love with him and that she saw the silver lining. The way she felt — which she said was unlike anything she’d felt before — opened her up to a whole new world of feelings. She is the classiest of the bunch, for sure and the most real.”

Couldn’t have put it better myself Hollywood Life

 

Tonight = Fantasy Suites!  yay…. gross.

The Bachelor Recap – Oh Juan – Week 7


WELCOME TO MIAMI!

Numbers:

  • Girls Remaining: 6
  • Single Dates This week: 2
  • Roses Given Out Before Rose Ceremony: 1
  • Fights: I think 2?  I mean possibly the side eye glances and silent treatment could mean multiple fights?
  • Best Quote: “What is Sharleen?” – Clare

So It’s no surprise that Sharleen has been on the fence about this whole thing from day 1 (Why come on this show?  I mean, really?).  She has had numerous awkward kisses, said numerous things that Juany-Poo just giggles at because he has no idea what she is saying, and pretty much kept to herself.

“She’s such a mystery” or something to that effect that Chelsea said.  You’re so deep girl.

Sharleen has kind of been the female version of Brooks this season.  Brooks, for those just joining us, was the guy that pretty much from Day 1 Desiree was like “I LOVE YOU” but obviously couldn’t say that because a.) that would be crazy on night 1 and b.) the producers told her she couldn’t say it – although we allllll knew she felt it.  Well obviously he was in the final two – along with Chris, who I am still like “THOSE AREN’T POEMS” – and he decided after flying home from Antigua (Way to waste the money of the show, dude, for an impromptu trip) and talking to his mom back at the headquarters of the Mormon Religion (Salt Lake City, Utah), that he wasn’t sure about Des.  His mom kind of seemed like she was all for it, and his sister was all like “We love her” but Brooks was like “Eh.  I mean.  Eh.”  So he came back and basically told Des it wasn’t going to happen.  She was all like “BUT I LOVE YOU” and he freaked out.  “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?” because she couldn’t you idiot.  Well he left and then suddenly she was in love with Chris and now they are engaged and living in Seattle, and they have a book of craptastic ‘poetry’ and she runs a website of dream weddings, and they tweet a lot.  The End.

SO ANYWAYS.

Sharleen is kind of that person.  She is the Brooks of Juan Pablo’s life.  She proved it on this episode.  She got the first single date and every girl in the room was like “$%#&@^&^#” at her direction.  She was kind of ambivalent at first and then came down stairs kind of acting happy.  They go on a yacht – that is smaller than the big one they parked next to – and then they make out a bunch, and she says she can’t stop kissing him.  This is obviously because they have NOTHING to talk about.  They go to a beach, and then dinner, and then stuff – boring – and she says there is an attraction, but she doesn’t know.

The next single date is with Nikki – to which Clare is like “I DON’T GET IT” and Nikki is all like “He’s my boyfrand” and everyone rolls their eyes.  Mama Renee isn’t shown because she is most likely smiling and happy for Nikki.  Because that is the classy woman that she is.

At this point I’m like “I really want French Fries.”

They head to a flower shop where they are buying flowers for a special person – who ends up being his daughter!  Because they are going to his daughter’s dance recital.  BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU DO.  He has six women he’s dating, and you choose to introduce your kid to 1/6 of the group at this stage?  HUH?  Well not only his daughter is there, so are his parents.  OH, and His Baby Mamma. HI AWKWARD.

“I’m speechless – Mind blown!” is how Nikki responds, bringing a new emotion to the table.  She must make a really interesting interview. ]

It goes off without a hitch – except for evil eyes from his ex (which man, I would do the same.. bringing some floozie to our daughters dance thing…), and Nikki is all like “YAY.”  They give the flowers to his kid, and then Juan tells her to go give them to her mom, because tomorrow is her birthday.  What is it with this guy ruining women’s birthdays?

Then they go to the ball park for the Marlins? (I suck at sports) and they throw a ball around and her dress is missing 90% of the fabric needed to make a dress.  Boring.

Meanwhile back at the mothership, Sharleen goes and talks to Renee and says that she isn’t sure about Juan, and Renee (being the amazing woman that she is) is all like “Don’t do something you’ll regret.”  If I were in this horrible situation, I would totally be like “You know what, you’re right.  You should leave.  I’ll leave with you.  Right after you get in the car and drive off out of sight.  I’ll be right behind you…. sucker.” Sharleen battles and battles and then pouts.

She goes and tells the girls she’s leaving and Clare about threw a party with her eyes.  Sharleen goes to tell Juan Pablo and despite the fact that he had told his brother (cousin? Hired man to speak spanish?  Producer?) that she could be “The Wan” he didn’t seem too upset.

But to make sure that his little heart could be mended, he proceeded to make out with Andi, Chelsea, Renee, and Clare on the group date.

The Bachelor Watch: Juan Pablo And The Whisper Games image

Chelsea brought letters from her parents about the rules of being a woman on this show.  Thanks?  Andi got the group date rose and Clare was confused.  Renee smiled.   Because Andi got the group date rose, that meant that there date was extended to some concert, where the guy sang in spanish, and Andi’s horrible dance moves were unveiled.  Sounds like a great evening.

Because I can’t say the next part any better:  From Show Tracker - 

“Back at the ranch, Nikki and Clare started fighting. Like most spats on this show, I have no idea what the actual source of conflict was, so I’m not going to try to decipher it. In any case, I’m very glad they fought, because it led to this:  There was the obligatory cocktail party before the rose ceremony. While each girl spent her required 15 minutes making out with JuanPabs, the other chicks sat around trying to fill the silence.

Crazy Eyes

“Does anyone wear any jewelry that you wear all the time?” Chelsie asked. THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT GIRLS ON “THE BACHELOR” TALK ABOUT.Surprisingly, no one was into that scintillating conversation prompt, so Chelsie said she had to go to the bathroom.“You don’t have to go that bad, do you?” Clare asked. Yes, Clare literally asked Chelsie to hold in her pee so that she didn’t have to be left alone with Nikki.Sadly, Chels could not hold it. And Nikki and Clare sat in actual silence for a solid two minutes. It was glorious, but helpful, too, as it gave us viewers a chance to understand what it would be like to date Juan Pablo.”

Chelsea was sent home, and she cried in the limo.

NEXT WEEK – Hometowns.  The women bring Juan home to meet their families and it looks interesting.  Parents aren’t happy (DUH) and Juan looks uncomfortable without his interpreter (which you know he has somewhere, feeding him lines through an ear piece).

But next week is a two parter!  Monday and Tuesday!  Tuesday they have the Fantasy Suite!  AND ANDI IS PISSSED ABOUT SOMETHING.

See you then!


The Bachelor Recap – The Land of Hobbits – Week 6


Hello New Zealand!

Can I just say, that if I wasn’t married I would totally try to get on this show just for the travel.  I mean seriously.  These women get to travel to random locations that they wouldn’t normally go to because they are on this show – FOR FREE.  Not fair, I tell ya.

So they are in New Zealand in Taupo where apparently the romance just runs rampant.  But there are some twists!  Cassandra is missing her son terribly (of course she is, it’s her kid y’all) and she has a heartfelt conversation with the house mom, Renee.  If Cassandra isn’t with her son, it seems she just wants to be with Juan Pablo – which I guess is legit, because hey, that is why she is here.

Fake pregnant Clare seems to be unraveling and really, this excites me.  I knew she was mentally unstable and a few sticks of butter short of a Paula Dean recipe, but man.  She has exceeded my expectations.  But seriously, it seems Juan Pablo knows this, and is doing everything in his power to push that to the forefront – most likely because he knows how boring and creepy he can be, and doesn’t want that kind of attention at this point.  I mean, you all agree right?  Sometimes when his voice kind of dribbles off after a work, all I hear is “Creepy Man you meet in an AOL chatroom”.  Just me?  Oh, okay.

But seriously, the way he just fornicated with Clare and then blamed her for it last week, was not cool.  I don’t care how emotionally unstable a person is, and how crazy in love they act after like 2 days, no one deserves to be blamed for something that two parties entered into willingly.  Jerk Pablo.

Andi, who hasn’t had a one on one date yet, gets the “let’s heat things up” card.  OOOOO.  You know what that means!   Clare was crushed, that’s what that means.  It would have been a great way for her to murder him make things right, but now she is worried (of course) that he doesn’t love her and she is going to be out of the land of Juan soon enough.

Back to Andi – so they run off on a speed boat ride, then take a dip in the hot springs (see, that’s where it heats up).  Andi is kind of my favorite, because she brought a one piece bathing suit, and we all know my bootylicious body needs to be in jeans and a polo at the beach, because no one is ready for this jelly.  So I admire her.  It’s still a little racy, being low cut in the front and rising pretty high in the back, so it’s more like a one piece for the girl who couldn’t find a two piece she liked.

Anyways, they make out, duh, and then have dinner and drinks – because I always go by that schedule too.   Their conversation is dull and frankly this is when I got up to go find chocolate because I was annoyed.

BUT SHE GETS A ROSE.

best quote: “Everything… is just wet” – Thanks Andi.

Group Date: Opera Singer Sharleen, The one know one likes Chelsie, Momma Renee, Nurse Nikki, Dancer Kat, and Cassandra (who is my current front runner) – Let Love Roll.

Oh geez.

Yeah they are in those big rubber inflatable balls.  Each woman gets at least one ride with Juany-Poo as that is him being “Fair”.  Which I still laugh at when I think of last week.  If you are so fair Juany-Poo does that mean you are going to get jiggy with it with everyone else?  That is the only way to be fair, after all.

Nikki gets some kisses while trapped in the bouncy ball, that I am sure smells of pee and vomit, because that’s what I would in that situation.

The happy bunch makes their way to Hobbiton – WHICH IS LIKE OMG THE BEST DATE EVER – Sharleen is like a fan girl and exactly how I would act, but Renee gets the first bit of one on one time.  Juany- Poo gives her a kiss and then she tells him how her and Cassandra miss their kids.  He treats them differently, almost with a hint of respect, and refers to them as his “Special Momma’s” – How sweet.

There are a bunch of really weird kisses and uncomfortable moments, that honestly I closed my eyes for.  Ew.

Cassandra thinks she is going to get the rose on the date, but instead it gives it to Shar-Shar because that is what you do to follow up an extremely awkward kiss.  You make up for it.  He then pulls Cassandra aside and SENDS HER HOME – WHY.  WHY.

That’s not even the best part.  IT’S HER BIRTHDAY.  -100 points for Hufflepuff on that one.

One on One – Crazy Clare

So Juany-Poo remembers he has a kid – I’m sure the producer has to remind him daily, which is why he reminds us daily – and skypes with her before hanging out with Clare.  The day begins as it should, with Clare wanting an apology, but instead Juany-Poo takes some responsibility before pinning the whole thing on her.  Again.  He goes on to say that he wants to be PG around his daughter, and really, I mean, that’s what he has been doing right?

bachelor-juan-pablo-clare-hot-tub-kissing-thumb-315xauto-73484 download juan-pablo-and-andi-photo-pagespeed-ce-vcvdkd1aj7 Juan-Pablo-Cassandra-Date nikki-juan-pablo-kiss-bachelor-w352Oh wait.  Yeah.

So she keeps her mouth shut, and gets a rose.

The Cocktail Party – Man these people drink a lot.

He talks to Chris Harrison before the party and admits that he thinks he’ll be dropping to one knee at the end of this.

Chris Harrison: To tie your shoe?

Juany-Poo: What?

(Not an actual conversation, but it should have happened)

So Chelsie and Kat realize they are risk of going home, and I couldn’t care less.  There are conversations, and stuff, and Kat talks about her drunk dad, again, and everyone makes out.

ROSE CEREMONY

Sharleen, Andi, and Clare are all Safe from their date roses.  Cassandra is gone (Sads)

Nikki, Renee, and Chelsie all get roses.  Wait, what?

Kat = devastated.

Sharleen = guilty because she is still uncertain about all of this (because that’s normal when you have known someone for like a month).  I think she will be leaving soon, really.

The Clare/Nikki feud is about to hit the fan.  Team Nikki or Clare?  Or Team I don’t care?

They are heading to Miami (Ahh Papi!) next week, because Juan Pablo needs to remember what his kid looks like.

The best part of the episode was the sheep poop incident.  Juan Pablo states “Whoever steps in the most sheep poops wins” which really sounds better than getting a rose at this point.

 

Bachelor Recap – Good Morning Vietnam! – Week 5


The Final 11 Ladies in Vietnam

I’m not sure about everyone else, but other than a few random occurrences, I’ve been kind of bored this season. Juan Pablo is kind of flat as a person and frankly I think he is only on here to hook up with chicks and get on Dancing With The Stars.

Anyways.

So this week things did get interesting.  I suggest you get that second box of wine ready, and possibly some popcorn (fat free of course) because it’s about to go down.

11 Girls remain!

One on One date – Renee

Juan Pablo Galavis and Renee Oteri Freewheel Around Vietnam in Episode 5

She is obviously thrilled she got picked, because this might mean she is out of the “Mom-Zone”

They head out on their one on one date to explore the city they are staying in, Hoi An.  Juany-poo takes Renee to a dress maker, possibly because he thinks she could use a makeover so she doesn’t look like the house mom.  She gets a custom made dress.  It was almost like watching a babysitter and the child she is responsible for.  I just don’t see the connection between them.  I also think she is just constantly a mom, no matter how hard she tries not to be.  They spend most of their date wandering around, buying gifts for their children, and taking in the sights.  They held hands, obviously because Renee was afraid he would wander off, and leashes on adults are not allowed in public.  He treated her like a queen, so of course she is now in love.

She got a rose at dinner, but not a kiss – because apparently Cameeeeelaaa (his daughter for those not following along) doesn’t want him to kiss a lot of girls (unless you are a girl he already kissed, because then, well, the damage has been done).  Renee is all like “Wahooooo..”

Group Date – Clare and a bunch of other girls who obviously didn’t matter enough to name

Juan Pablo in a festive rice paddy hat (because that’s not a racist comment) took his lucky ladies on a group date to the countryside.  It was a gorgeous day where the pastel shorts were plentiful, the bachelorettes were dehydrated and hot (and complaining), and bitter side eyes (not as intimidating as Tiera’s eyebrow, but you get the point).  Clare – the villian of the house – stole him away (shocker) from the girls so they could covertly make out.  Right.  Because anything on this show is covert.  Everyone saw, and everyone was totally jealous.  Everyone hates Clare.

Well this insatiable appetite got even more heated because Clare and Juany-Poo ended up making out in the swimming pool on the second half of the date.  What about your daughter, Juan Pablo?  Don’t you think she would be a little miffed to see this?  I WAS MIFFED TO SEE THIS.  It takes a lot to make me uncomfortable, but you and horse teeth getting it on like that was making me want to go to Church right then and be cleansed of this visual.  I think even God said “Ew.”

She kind of looks at him like she is going to eat him.  Literally.  Like kill him and then eat the remains.  There are a many things not right with that woman.

Who Sneaks a Kiss in Vietnam?

She, of course, got the group date rose because you have to throw a bone to a girl willing to be that forward with you.

This apparently just added fuel to her fire, because she totes showed up to his room later that evening for a midnight (actually more like 3 am) swimfest in the Ocean.  Because that is when Sharks Feed, and no one would know it wasn’t her.   I went full on blind watching this, because ew.

Sorry China Sea.  Not even salt water can fix this.

One on One date 2 – Nurse Nikki who works with Children, don’t ya know?

Juan Pablo Galavis and Nikki Ferrell Hang in Vietnam on Their 1-on-1

Juany-Poo forced Nikki to spalunk down a ‘cave’ named hell.  This date is my worst nightmare.  I hate darkness, tight places, and unknown.  So I hate pretty much all nature outside of open fields of wild flowers (you catch that reference and we could be friends).  What do you do after being in a hole in the earth surrounded by creatures just licking their lips at you, or and bats?  You eat dinner of course.

Juan Pablo had to change into his yellow shirt for the occasion and then sat down with Nikki for the most boring conversation ever.  Sickly kiddos, the fact Juany Poo has a love child, and the fact that he was wearing a bright orange bracelet.  Well that was the topic of the conversation I had with the voices in my head.

So many questions about that one.  Duh, she got a rose.

Most Dramatic Part of the Episode:  I can’t say this any better than this person did from Wetpaint.com so here you go:

“EveryoneSHHHHHHH, Juan Pablo is sad. This tragic victim of scarfitis (a sickness wherein those afflicted wear scarves for no reason) was reduced to tears during this week’s Rose Ceremony, and we blame Clare. Thanks to her undeniable charm and ability to swallow her own vomit, Juan Pablo broke his no-kissing rule and felt super iffy about the fact that he hooked up with her in the ocean. So, how did Clare react when Juan Pablo broke the news that they’d no longer be swapping spit on the sly? Not well, guys. Not well at all. Clare basically suffered an emotional breakdown all over Vietnam, sobbed hysterically (what’s the point of living life without Juan Pablo’s tongue in your mouth?!), and tearfully uttered the following sentences: “That conversation just blindsided me,” “Do I wanna crawl back in my turtle shell?” and “I just feel so bad because dhsajdkhsajk [indescernable weeping].”

Clare Crawley in Vietnam

We’re shocked she made it out of the country in one piece.”

Eliminated Girls: Kelly ‘I love Dogs’ Travis, Ally ‘Who?” Restko, Danielle ‘Does She Speak?’ Ronco.  Juany Poo barely talked to them all season, with the exception of Kelly who got a group date rose when she had to be dressed like a dog.

What will week 6 bring?  The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings – because we are going to New Zealand!

(All images from wetpaint.com)