Learning From Mistakes


“Failure is not something that you are, it’s something that you do.”  - I can’t remember who wrote this and google isn’t helping.

What a concept.  What a truth.

I am not a failure for my mistakes.  I have failed in the past.  The point is, what I learned from it.  The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.

I do this too.

So I fail at things and I am insane.

I can work with that.

Step 1 – What’s not Working?

I can’t have ice cream, chips, crackers, cookies, 100 calorie packs, etc in the house without overeating, and overeating hard.  Except every week at the grocery store, these items make it into my cart.  WHY?  because I am a glutton for punishment?  Because I don’t actually want to lose weight?  because I don’t have control?

That is all B.S.

I do have control.  I am a strong person who doesn’t need that cupcake, that milkshake, that frap from starbucks, the box of cereal, the 1/2 gallon of ice cream, or that 4th beer.

Okay sometimes I need the 4th beer.

I can’t keep eating the way I’ve been eating and expect things to change.

Step 2 – Removing the Problems

It’s easy to say “I won’t buy that stuff” but when I am at work with a cafe downstairs, a candy jar on my bosses desk, and people constantly bringing in delicious homemade items, it’s hard to stay accountable.

Untitled

So how do I do this?  Plan plan plan.  Bring snacks with me to work that are healthy – fruit, veggies, protein bars, chug water, lots of water.  STAY OUT OF THE WORK KITCHEN.  I don’t even put my lunch there, so why am I constantly venturing back there?  IN HOPE SOMEONE HAS DROPPED FOOD.

I’m like a dog really.

Step 3- You will slip up, so don’t beat yourself up

When I do slip up, which will happen, I can’t beat myself up about it, and I sure as heck can’t throw in the towel and say “I’ll start again tomorrow” I’m starting now.  Today I pack my breakfast, snacks, and lunch all up for me to bring to work.  I have confidently walked past the candy jar 3 times and not even looked at it (Okay I looked once).

I saw the scary number on the scale, and I thought that would shove me in the right direction, but instead I just got comfortable with it.  I got used to seeing the number on the scale and stopped letting it bother me.  Instead I would just blame myself and state that I am too weak to lose weight, and it will never happen.

That needs to stop.  Yes, it’s my fault, but those bad decisions don’t define me.  I need to grow up.

Step 4 – Stop Chasing My Tail

I just run.  All I do is run.  All I do is run and run and run.  At first I was like “BOOM LOSING WEIGHT!” then I was like “Man I am hungry ALL THE TIME.”  Then I was like “Oh I can eat whatever the heck I want because I ran X miles today!  BRING ON THE SHEET CAKE!”

Oh that doesn’t work, does it?

So I was running like a crazy person, eating like a crazy person, and then running more to burn off the food, which would then make me eat more.

Hello Plateau.

I pretty much went between the same 5 pounds for the past 6 months.  Well how am I going to fix this?  I’m running 3 races in the next 6 weeks, and running a bunch in the fall – INCLUDING A MARATHON.

easy peasy.  I’m adding in other workouts.  I’ve started my DVD collection again.  Dusted off some Bob Harper, some Jillian Michaels, some Firm DVDs, and I am getting to it.  I plan one rotating them so I don’t get bored or too used to one over the other.  I have the Biggest Loser Bootcamp which I talked about before (that kicked my butt).  I have the Firm Strength Training DVD (which always kicks my butt).  I also just got Jillian Michaels Kickbox Fast Fix – while I know it will not be a fast transition from flab to fab, I like the motivation it gives.

Step 5 – Rinse and Repeat

I will have good days, and bad days.  Heck, I might have GREAT days.  I might also have HORRIBLE days.  That is life.  So instead of dwelling on the horrible days, and the problems, I’ll hold on to the good days.  I’ll use those as motivation.  I’ll keep going with those.

 

Today:

B: 2 eggs, 3 strips of bacon, coffee, and a banana

S: Orange

L: Wrap with turkey, provolone, onion and grain mustard; yogurt; diced pears; carrots

S: Quest Nutrition Bar

D: Where ever I go it will be a salad with protein

Activity: 4 mile run & 20 push ups

Bachelor Recap – Part 1 of 2 Home Town Visits – Week 8


Here we go!

This is a Two Episode week, also known as, a gift from the gods of women who like to drink and overeat while swearing they will never be that desperate to go on to a reality show to meet the ‘love of their life’.  Also, myself.  The person who will simply make their husband watch this garbage to her hearts content.

It’s Hometowns!

For those just tuning in, hometowns week is when the Bachelor – Juany-Poo – goes to the 4 remaining women’s homes to meet their family, see where they live, and experience a little bit of them in their comfort zone – you know, real life.  Because nothing screams real life like having scripted drama.

We learned a few things this week about Juan Pablo.  He’s great with mom’s – he brings each one of them flowers – and he kind of sucks when it comes to fathers…. and guns.  Ain’t that the truth!

First we follow Juan and Nikki to her hometown of Kansas City, Missouri.  They eat Bar-be-que and do some bull riding.  After Juan rode the bull, Nikki rode it with him, which to me, seems a bit more scandalous then having a Gay Bachelor… But Whatever Juany-Poo.  This may be one of the most sexual things we have seen on TV, except for when you know, Clare slept with him in the Ocean.  Nikki’s parents seemed to like him, and she kept battling back and forth if she should tell him that she loved him or not… you know after like 2 weeks… but thankfully she held out.  Overall this date was extremely boring.

"The Bachelor"

Next up was Renee (MY FAVORITE.. and too good for this show).  She has a son as well, so I figured they would hit it off immediately, which obviously they did.  I also think the fact that she is not remotely part of any of the catty drama is a reason she has stuck around so long.  She is everyone’s friend, and really no one says anything bad about her.  She is always excited to spend time with him, even in a group setting, and never takes for granted anything given to her.

They ventured to Sarasota Florida, and went to her sons little league game.  She is such a mom, and it was so adorable how she acted with him in sight.  Oh yeah, and personality of a table Juan Pablo was there too.  He met her family and they said that it was obvious how crazy she was for him, but she, like Nikki, restrained when saying a I love you.

Next up! Andi – In Georgia.  They headed to the shooting range, where it is obvious that not everyone (or really anyone) can pick up a gun and simply ‘get the hang of it’.  He met her family, where her mom who seemed to just get happy over shiny things loved him, but her father was like “No.”  I saw my own father in this situation and thought ‘this would totally be him’ but then thought better of it, because my dad would NEVER have let me go on this show.

Yes, I am almost 30, and if my dad says “no” I will listen (not remotely like when I was a teenager and didn’t care, but I digress..).  He couldn’t give JP his blessing, because SHOCKER, he’s dating 3 other women.  WOW.  A man with common sense.  I think we are finally getting to the parents who actually care about their kids after 45 seasons of this bull.

Bachelor Hometown Dates

And lastly, but most crazy, Clare!  Sacramento California is where this load of insanity hails from.  They met in a park, where she again, became even more candid about the relationship she had with her late father.  In the house surrounded by women, everyone really seemed to open up to the idea of JP in Clare’s life, except for her sister Lara.

She didn’t really want JP to have any one on one time with their Mother, which came off as weird, but then it was evident that she was just really protective of her sister.  Her sister was acting more like an overprotective parent than her sister, which was just plain weird. It was so odd, in fact — that she must either be a.) insanely jealous of her younger, way, WAY prettier sibling, or b.) she simply couldn’t resist stealing the spotlight for a few minutes since there were TV crews all over the place.

Aww, how sweet.  JP and the mom ended up having a great conversation and connecting, which was a bit weird, because I didn’t think he could actually hold a conversation with a person for more than 2 minutes without singing in spanish.  But who knows what they edited out.

UntitledThen the elimination…

He sent Renee home.

*collective sob*

“’m actually glad Renee’s going home to Ben; I think he’s more special to her than Juan Pablo was. It wasn’t easy for JP either, and you could tell he was seriously hurt since he was crying more than she was. After the elimination, she told Juan Pablo that she had fallen in love with him and that she saw the silver lining. The way she felt — which she said was unlike anything she’d felt before — opened her up to a whole new world of feelings. She is the classiest of the bunch, for sure and the most real.”

Couldn’t have put it better myself Hollywood Life

 

Tonight = Fantasy Suites!  yay…. gross.

The Bachelor Recap – Oh Juan – Week 7


WELCOME TO MIAMI!

Numbers:

  • Girls Remaining: 6
  • Single Dates This week: 2
  • Roses Given Out Before Rose Ceremony: 1
  • Fights: I think 2?  I mean possibly the side eye glances and silent treatment could mean multiple fights?
  • Best Quote: “What is Sharleen?” – Clare

So It’s no surprise that Sharleen has been on the fence about this whole thing from day 1 (Why come on this show?  I mean, really?).  She has had numerous awkward kisses, said numerous things that Juany-Poo just giggles at because he has no idea what she is saying, and pretty much kept to herself.

“She’s such a mystery” or something to that effect that Chelsea said.  You’re so deep girl.

Sharleen has kind of been the female version of Brooks this season.  Brooks, for those just joining us, was the guy that pretty much from Day 1 Desiree was like “I LOVE YOU” but obviously couldn’t say that because a.) that would be crazy on night 1 and b.) the producers told her she couldn’t say it – although we allllll knew she felt it.  Well obviously he was in the final two – along with Chris, who I am still like “THOSE AREN’T POEMS” – and he decided after flying home from Antigua (Way to waste the money of the show, dude, for an impromptu trip) and talking to his mom back at the headquarters of the Mormon Religion (Salt Lake City, Utah), that he wasn’t sure about Des.  His mom kind of seemed like she was all for it, and his sister was all like “We love her” but Brooks was like “Eh.  I mean.  Eh.”  So he came back and basically told Des it wasn’t going to happen.  She was all like “BUT I LOVE YOU” and he freaked out.  “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?” because she couldn’t you idiot.  Well he left and then suddenly she was in love with Chris and now they are engaged and living in Seattle, and they have a book of craptastic ‘poetry’ and she runs a website of dream weddings, and they tweet a lot.  The End.

SO ANYWAYS.

Sharleen is kind of that person.  She is the Brooks of Juan Pablo’s life.  She proved it on this episode.  She got the first single date and every girl in the room was like “$%#&@^&^#” at her direction.  She was kind of ambivalent at first and then came down stairs kind of acting happy.  They go on a yacht – that is smaller than the big one they parked next to – and then they make out a bunch, and she says she can’t stop kissing him.  This is obviously because they have NOTHING to talk about.  They go to a beach, and then dinner, and then stuff – boring – and she says there is an attraction, but she doesn’t know.

The next single date is with Nikki – to which Clare is like “I DON’T GET IT” and Nikki is all like “He’s my boyfrand” and everyone rolls their eyes.  Mama Renee isn’t shown because she is most likely smiling and happy for Nikki.  Because that is the classy woman that she is.

At this point I’m like “I really want French Fries.”

They head to a flower shop where they are buying flowers for a special person – who ends up being his daughter!  Because they are going to his daughter’s dance recital.  BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU DO.  He has six women he’s dating, and you choose to introduce your kid to 1/6 of the group at this stage?  HUH?  Well not only his daughter is there, so are his parents.  OH, and His Baby Mamma. HI AWKWARD.

“I’m speechless – Mind blown!” is how Nikki responds, bringing a new emotion to the table.  She must make a really interesting interview. ]

It goes off without a hitch – except for evil eyes from his ex (which man, I would do the same.. bringing some floozie to our daughters dance thing…), and Nikki is all like “YAY.”  They give the flowers to his kid, and then Juan tells her to go give them to her mom, because tomorrow is her birthday.  What is it with this guy ruining women’s birthdays?

Then they go to the ball park for the Marlins? (I suck at sports) and they throw a ball around and her dress is missing 90% of the fabric needed to make a dress.  Boring.

Meanwhile back at the mothership, Sharleen goes and talks to Renee and says that she isn’t sure about Juan, and Renee (being the amazing woman that she is) is all like “Don’t do something you’ll regret.”  If I were in this horrible situation, I would totally be like “You know what, you’re right.  You should leave.  I’ll leave with you.  Right after you get in the car and drive off out of sight.  I’ll be right behind you…. sucker.” Sharleen battles and battles and then pouts.

She goes and tells the girls she’s leaving and Clare about threw a party with her eyes.  Sharleen goes to tell Juan Pablo and despite the fact that he had told his brother (cousin? Hired man to speak spanish?  Producer?) that she could be “The Wan” he didn’t seem too upset.

But to make sure that his little heart could be mended, he proceeded to make out with Andi, Chelsea, Renee, and Clare on the group date.

The Bachelor Watch: Juan Pablo And The Whisper Games image

Chelsea brought letters from her parents about the rules of being a woman on this show.  Thanks?  Andi got the group date rose and Clare was confused.  Renee smiled.   Because Andi got the group date rose, that meant that there date was extended to some concert, where the guy sang in spanish, and Andi’s horrible dance moves were unveiled.  Sounds like a great evening.

Because I can’t say the next part any better:  From Show Tracker - 

“Back at the ranch, Nikki and Clare started fighting. Like most spats on this show, I have no idea what the actual source of conflict was, so I’m not going to try to decipher it. In any case, I’m very glad they fought, because it led to this:  There was the obligatory cocktail party before the rose ceremony. While each girl spent her required 15 minutes making out with JuanPabs, the other chicks sat around trying to fill the silence.

Crazy Eyes

“Does anyone wear any jewelry that you wear all the time?” Chelsie asked. THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT GIRLS ON “THE BACHELOR” TALK ABOUT.Surprisingly, no one was into that scintillating conversation prompt, so Chelsie said she had to go to the bathroom.“You don’t have to go that bad, do you?” Clare asked. Yes, Clare literally asked Chelsie to hold in her pee so that she didn’t have to be left alone with Nikki.Sadly, Chels could not hold it. And Nikki and Clare sat in actual silence for a solid two minutes. It was glorious, but helpful, too, as it gave us viewers a chance to understand what it would be like to date Juan Pablo.”

Chelsea was sent home, and she cried in the limo.

NEXT WEEK – Hometowns.  The women bring Juan home to meet their families and it looks interesting.  Parents aren’t happy (DUH) and Juan looks uncomfortable without his interpreter (which you know he has somewhere, feeding him lines through an ear piece).

But next week is a two parter!  Monday and Tuesday!  Tuesday they have the Fantasy Suite!  AND ANDI IS PISSSED ABOUT SOMETHING.

See you then!


The Bachelor Recap – The Land of Hobbits – Week 6


Hello New Zealand!

Can I just say, that if I wasn’t married I would totally try to get on this show just for the travel.  I mean seriously.  These women get to travel to random locations that they wouldn’t normally go to because they are on this show – FOR FREE.  Not fair, I tell ya.

So they are in New Zealand in Taupo where apparently the romance just runs rampant.  But there are some twists!  Cassandra is missing her son terribly (of course she is, it’s her kid y’all) and she has a heartfelt conversation with the house mom, Renee.  If Cassandra isn’t with her son, it seems she just wants to be with Juan Pablo – which I guess is legit, because hey, that is why she is here.

Fake pregnant Clare seems to be unraveling and really, this excites me.  I knew she was mentally unstable and a few sticks of butter short of a Paula Dean recipe, but man.  She has exceeded my expectations.  But seriously, it seems Juan Pablo knows this, and is doing everything in his power to push that to the forefront – most likely because he knows how boring and creepy he can be, and doesn’t want that kind of attention at this point.  I mean, you all agree right?  Sometimes when his voice kind of dribbles off after a work, all I hear is “Creepy Man you meet in an AOL chatroom”.  Just me?  Oh, okay.

But seriously, the way he just fornicated with Clare and then blamed her for it last week, was not cool.  I don’t care how emotionally unstable a person is, and how crazy in love they act after like 2 days, no one deserves to be blamed for something that two parties entered into willingly.  Jerk Pablo.

Andi, who hasn’t had a one on one date yet, gets the “let’s heat things up” card.  OOOOO.  You know what that means!   Clare was crushed, that’s what that means.  It would have been a great way for her to murder him make things right, but now she is worried (of course) that he doesn’t love her and she is going to be out of the land of Juan soon enough.

Back to Andi – so they run off on a speed boat ride, then take a dip in the hot springs (see, that’s where it heats up).  Andi is kind of my favorite, because she brought a one piece bathing suit, and we all know my bootylicious body needs to be in jeans and a polo at the beach, because no one is ready for this jelly.  So I admire her.  It’s still a little racy, being low cut in the front and rising pretty high in the back, so it’s more like a one piece for the girl who couldn’t find a two piece she liked.

Anyways, they make out, duh, and then have dinner and drinks – because I always go by that schedule too.   Their conversation is dull and frankly this is when I got up to go find chocolate because I was annoyed.

BUT SHE GETS A ROSE.

best quote: “Everything… is just wet” – Thanks Andi.

Group Date: Opera Singer Sharleen, The one know one likes Chelsie, Momma Renee, Nurse Nikki, Dancer Kat, and Cassandra (who is my current front runner) – Let Love Roll.

Oh geez.

Yeah they are in those big rubber inflatable balls.  Each woman gets at least one ride with Juany-Poo as that is him being “Fair”.  Which I still laugh at when I think of last week.  If you are so fair Juany-Poo does that mean you are going to get jiggy with it with everyone else?  That is the only way to be fair, after all.

Nikki gets some kisses while trapped in the bouncy ball, that I am sure smells of pee and vomit, because that’s what I would in that situation.

The happy bunch makes their way to Hobbiton – WHICH IS LIKE OMG THE BEST DATE EVER – Sharleen is like a fan girl and exactly how I would act, but Renee gets the first bit of one on one time.  Juany- Poo gives her a kiss and then she tells him how her and Cassandra miss their kids.  He treats them differently, almost with a hint of respect, and refers to them as his “Special Momma’s” – How sweet.

There are a bunch of really weird kisses and uncomfortable moments, that honestly I closed my eyes for.  Ew.

Cassandra thinks she is going to get the rose on the date, but instead it gives it to Shar-Shar because that is what you do to follow up an extremely awkward kiss.  You make up for it.  He then pulls Cassandra aside and SENDS HER HOME – WHY.  WHY.

That’s not even the best part.  IT’S HER BIRTHDAY.  -100 points for Hufflepuff on that one.

One on One – Crazy Clare

So Juany-Poo remembers he has a kid – I’m sure the producer has to remind him daily, which is why he reminds us daily – and skypes with her before hanging out with Clare.  The day begins as it should, with Clare wanting an apology, but instead Juany-Poo takes some responsibility before pinning the whole thing on her.  Again.  He goes on to say that he wants to be PG around his daughter, and really, I mean, that’s what he has been doing right?

bachelor-juan-pablo-clare-hot-tub-kissing-thumb-315xauto-73484 download juan-pablo-and-andi-photo-pagespeed-ce-vcvdkd1aj7 Juan-Pablo-Cassandra-Date nikki-juan-pablo-kiss-bachelor-w352Oh wait.  Yeah.

So she keeps her mouth shut, and gets a rose.

The Cocktail Party – Man these people drink a lot.

He talks to Chris Harrison before the party and admits that he thinks he’ll be dropping to one knee at the end of this.

Chris Harrison: To tie your shoe?

Juany-Poo: What?

(Not an actual conversation, but it should have happened)

So Chelsie and Kat realize they are risk of going home, and I couldn’t care less.  There are conversations, and stuff, and Kat talks about her drunk dad, again, and everyone makes out.

ROSE CEREMONY

Sharleen, Andi, and Clare are all Safe from their date roses.  Cassandra is gone (Sads)

Nikki, Renee, and Chelsie all get roses.  Wait, what?

Kat = devastated.

Sharleen = guilty because she is still uncertain about all of this (because that’s normal when you have known someone for like a month).  I think she will be leaving soon, really.

The Clare/Nikki feud is about to hit the fan.  Team Nikki or Clare?  Or Team I don’t care?

They are heading to Miami (Ahh Papi!) next week, because Juan Pablo needs to remember what his kid looks like.

The best part of the episode was the sheep poop incident.  Juan Pablo states “Whoever steps in the most sheep poops wins” which really sounds better than getting a rose at this point.

 

Bachelor Recap – Good Morning Vietnam! – Week 5


The Final 11 Ladies in Vietnam

I’m not sure about everyone else, but other than a few random occurrences, I’ve been kind of bored this season. Juan Pablo is kind of flat as a person and frankly I think he is only on here to hook up with chicks and get on Dancing With The Stars.

Anyways.

So this week things did get interesting.  I suggest you get that second box of wine ready, and possibly some popcorn (fat free of course) because it’s about to go down.

11 Girls remain!

One on One date – Renee

Juan Pablo Galavis and Renee Oteri Freewheel Around Vietnam in Episode 5

She is obviously thrilled she got picked, because this might mean she is out of the “Mom-Zone”

They head out on their one on one date to explore the city they are staying in, Hoi An.  Juany-poo takes Renee to a dress maker, possibly because he thinks she could use a makeover so she doesn’t look like the house mom.  She gets a custom made dress.  It was almost like watching a babysitter and the child she is responsible for.  I just don’t see the connection between them.  I also think she is just constantly a mom, no matter how hard she tries not to be.  They spend most of their date wandering around, buying gifts for their children, and taking in the sights.  They held hands, obviously because Renee was afraid he would wander off, and leashes on adults are not allowed in public.  He treated her like a queen, so of course she is now in love.

She got a rose at dinner, but not a kiss – because apparently Cameeeeelaaa (his daughter for those not following along) doesn’t want him to kiss a lot of girls (unless you are a girl he already kissed, because then, well, the damage has been done).  Renee is all like “Wahooooo..”

Group Date – Clare and a bunch of other girls who obviously didn’t matter enough to name

Juan Pablo in a festive rice paddy hat (because that’s not a racist comment) took his lucky ladies on a group date to the countryside.  It was a gorgeous day where the pastel shorts were plentiful, the bachelorettes were dehydrated and hot (and complaining), and bitter side eyes (not as intimidating as Tiera’s eyebrow, but you get the point).  Clare – the villian of the house – stole him away (shocker) from the girls so they could covertly make out.  Right.  Because anything on this show is covert.  Everyone saw, and everyone was totally jealous.  Everyone hates Clare.

Well this insatiable appetite got even more heated because Clare and Juany-Poo ended up making out in the swimming pool on the second half of the date.  What about your daughter, Juan Pablo?  Don’t you think she would be a little miffed to see this?  I WAS MIFFED TO SEE THIS.  It takes a lot to make me uncomfortable, but you and horse teeth getting it on like that was making me want to go to Church right then and be cleansed of this visual.  I think even God said “Ew.”

She kind of looks at him like she is going to eat him.  Literally.  Like kill him and then eat the remains.  There are a many things not right with that woman.

Who Sneaks a Kiss in Vietnam?

She, of course, got the group date rose because you have to throw a bone to a girl willing to be that forward with you.

This apparently just added fuel to her fire, because she totes showed up to his room later that evening for a midnight (actually more like 3 am) swimfest in the Ocean.  Because that is when Sharks Feed, and no one would know it wasn’t her.   I went full on blind watching this, because ew.

Sorry China Sea.  Not even salt water can fix this.

One on One date 2 – Nurse Nikki who works with Children, don’t ya know?

Juan Pablo Galavis and Nikki Ferrell Hang in Vietnam on Their 1-on-1

Juany-Poo forced Nikki to spalunk down a ‘cave’ named hell.  This date is my worst nightmare.  I hate darkness, tight places, and unknown.  So I hate pretty much all nature outside of open fields of wild flowers (you catch that reference and we could be friends).  What do you do after being in a hole in the earth surrounded by creatures just licking their lips at you, or and bats?  You eat dinner of course.

Juan Pablo had to change into his yellow shirt for the occasion and then sat down with Nikki for the most boring conversation ever.  Sickly kiddos, the fact Juany Poo has a love child, and the fact that he was wearing a bright orange bracelet.  Well that was the topic of the conversation I had with the voices in my head.

So many questions about that one.  Duh, she got a rose.

Most Dramatic Part of the Episode:  I can’t say this any better than this person did from Wetpaint.com so here you go:

“EveryoneSHHHHHHH, Juan Pablo is sad. This tragic victim of scarfitis (a sickness wherein those afflicted wear scarves for no reason) was reduced to tears during this week’s Rose Ceremony, and we blame Clare. Thanks to her undeniable charm and ability to swallow her own vomit, Juan Pablo broke his no-kissing rule and felt super iffy about the fact that he hooked up with her in the ocean. So, how did Clare react when Juan Pablo broke the news that they’d no longer be swapping spit on the sly? Not well, guys. Not well at all. Clare basically suffered an emotional breakdown all over Vietnam, sobbed hysterically (what’s the point of living life without Juan Pablo’s tongue in your mouth?!), and tearfully uttered the following sentences: “That conversation just blindsided me,” “Do I wanna crawl back in my turtle shell?” and “I just feel so bad because dhsajdkhsajk [indescernable weeping].”

Clare Crawley in Vietnam

We’re shocked she made it out of the country in one piece.”

Eliminated Girls: Kelly ‘I love Dogs’ Travis, Ally ‘Who?” Restko, Danielle ‘Does She Speak?’ Ronco.  Juany Poo barely talked to them all season, with the exception of Kelly who got a group date rose when she had to be dressed like a dog.

What will week 6 bring?  The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings – because we are going to New Zealand!

(All images from wetpaint.com)

So You Want to Play With Magic?


I’m on Day 3 of Wheat Free, and I have to say I am pretty much loving how I’m feeling.  Not hungry, more energy, no headaches, etc.  It’s a wonder.

I’m working on a post explaining a lot of my choices with this, and lots of sources on the subject.  If for nothing else, I am so far doing well.  I am liking the current state with myself, but like I’ve said before, it’s not for everyone, and I would never push a diet on here that I think everyone should do.  Find what works for you and do it.

FYI I’m still eating carbs, just not of the bread variety.

I’m obsessed with that Katy Perry song by the way, I’ve downloaded it for my running playlist and am not ashamed to say I’ve listened to it on repeat pretty much for the past 4 days.  I know that I sound nothing like her, so I apologize if you are caught with me in a small space when it comes on the radio, because you are in for torture.

Be My Friend.

Be My Friend.

So it’s Wednesday and I suck at taking pictures of my food.  So here is one picture of what I am eating today:

Clementines (0P+)

Clementines (0P+)

Yep.  that’s it.

Menu:

  • Breakfast: 2 Eggs, 3 strips of bacon, coffee with Half n’ Half
  • Snack: SO MANY CLEMENTINES
  • Lunch: Mixed Green Salad with: Cucumber, Zucchini, baby carrots, cherry tomatoes, feta, chicken strips, and balsamic vinaigrette.  Yogurt, Diet Coke
  • Snack: Apple
  • During Class Snack: Quest Nutrition Chocolate Brownie Protein Bar (Gluten Free!)
  • Dinner: Bacon Wrapped Chicken Breast with Parmesan Asparagus

No activity today because there is no time for a lunch time workout with all the meetings I have, and I’ll be in class till 7, not getting home till close to 8.

It’s okay.  I ran yesterday!

We got snow again last night, which meant that no one had school, and no one was driving normally, and everyone acted like it was the end of the world and all humanity.

If my hockey puck of a car can make it through, you have no excuse.  Unless of course you ride a bicycle, unicycle, rickshaw, or swim to work.

I’m noticing that my running is getting harder and harder.  At first I was like “My legs are obviously possessed and no longer wish to abide by their owner” but then I thought – Is it my shoes?  Nope, couldn’t be.  I’ve had these babies not even six months, and I don’t run more than like 20 miles a week, so there is no way I’ve worn them out – and I have two pairs which I interchange frequently.  So, could it be my alien parasite that I was talking about on Twitter earlier?

Untitled

 

and then I made, what I was told, is an insensitive comment

Untitled1I can see both sides.

Or maybe it is the fact I am running on a treadmill?  I’m not sure.  I do know, however, my long run of 7 miles will be outside this Saturday because apparently it’s going to be in the 50′s?  I mean, Weather… come on.

Don’t tease me so.

Well, that’s all I got.

If you hate my Bachelor Recaps and want a better one each week go to: http://www.ashleyjonesy.com/

 

The Bachelor Recap – Week 4 & ProFlowers Contest!


(ABC)

This was an awkward episode for me, if not the worst one ever in the franchise.  It really made me think that Juan Pablo doesn’t really want to find a wife, so much as he wants to just be Juan Pablo.

The episode starts with Juan Pablo saying goodbye to his sweet daughter because he must whisk his band of Wives-to-Be off to South Korea (Random location.  If I were on this show as the Bachelorette – HAHAHA – I would pick some place like London, Dublin, Munich, Amsterdam, if I was even given the option.. me and rainy cool weather mesh well) to party it up and dwindle the list down further by two women.

Chris Harrison tells the girls to quickly pack because they are going to SOUTH KOREA!  All of the girls freak out and start breaking out into the Gangnam Style dance.  This is where I decided I hate all of them. They headed off to the airport, as some of them, I’m sure Google Mapped the location of the country on a map.  They don’t want to see uneducated around Juany-Poo!

First Group Date: Chelsie, Cassandra, Elise, Danielle, Kat, Nikki – Date entitled: POP

The girls start to ask each other “WHAT COULD THIS MEAN?” and Nikki the Nurse just seems to be mad that she didn’t get a one on one.  Nikki doesn’t have sisters, and obviously has never been around the female gender.  She also has never watched an episode of The Bachelor and never thought that she would actually have to share the time with Juan Pablo.  Yeah right, like she was going to walk out of the limo and he’d be all like “¡Dios mío” and that would be it.

So they all go to the K-Pop studie to learn some dance moves form the kindness of the K-Pop singing sensation “2NE1″.  Apparently they are as popular as the Spice Girls (AS IF).

Kat is of course all like “YAY I’M A DANCER.  Remember?  From the other episode?  Where I danced?”  Nikki is all sad, and complains pretty much for the rest of time.

Just when things can’t get worse for Nikki, the group is informed that they will be dancing with 2NE1 in front of a large crowed.  You can see where this is going for Nikki the Nurse.

The Large Crowd ends up being a stage in a mall, like what pop bands in America used to do.   They all end up jumping around behind the group on stage until Kat goes all stripper and takes the attention away from EVERYONE ELSE.  (She is totally getting a rose)  Meanwhile, all of these screaming Koren teens are wondering who the hell these people are.

That night, at the ‘cocktail-ish non-rose ceremony party” Kat steals Juan away for some one on one time where she reveals some troubling things from her past.  I am not going to make fun of that in anyway because we all got baggage.  Props to her for being vulnerable.

While this is going on Nikki complains to everyone else – the camera man most likely hates her – about Kat’s phony behavior – because she obviously isn’t a dancer – and makes everyone uncomfortable, because these women don’t EVER gossip.

Elise then decides to seal her fate by telling Juan that some of the girls aren’t here for the right reasons.  I mean seriously.  THAT IS YOUR TICKET HOME ON THIS SHOW.

Nikki gets one on one time and turns into the nurse again and is all sweet and shy and did she mention “I work with kids”.  She tells him that is a good diaper changer, which is really vital because his kid is out of diapers.  Juany-Poo still looks smitten.

Of course he asks her if she will “essspet this roose” and she says yes.

One on One Date: Sharleen (UGH GO AWAY)

Sharleen say ‘s she is excited, but has about as much excitement as a girl doing the walk of shame across campus on Family Day.  They are setting off to explore Seoul, and she has admitted, she isn’t sure she is feeling it.  They walk around and do boring things, and he is wearing yellow pants.

Before dinner, Juan Pablo begs her to sing for him, and she does.  This is a big deal because as an Opera Singer who performs, she doesn’t sing in front of men often.  As if last weeks kiss wasn’t bad enough, he decides to bite her lip this week.  Sharleen thinks they have a shot at love (kind of like the other dating show with Tila Tequila).

Then, the topic of kids comes up and Sharleen is all like “I don’t think I want any, and blah blah, and it was hard dating a guy with a kid, blah blah blah” and then Juan Pablo was all like “I appreciate your honesty” (you know about not liking the fact he has a kid, hey Camila!) and ‘here’s a rose”.

Juan I thought you were here for your daughter?  If you want to do something for her, drop these people, go home, and take your kid to Disney World.

Second Group Date:  Lauren S., Andi, Clare, Renee, Alli, and Kelly

They are singing Karaoke.  This is horrible. Then they get fish pedicures where Renee’s feet are apparently riddled with dead skin, and Clare is jealous.  Then after the fish are done, they head to streets to eat Octopus.  Clare says “I’M NOT DOING IT” and everyone rolls their eyes with the tentacles stilling out of their mouths. Kelly is visibly and audibly annoyed calling her insane.

He decides on this date he isn’t kissing anyone else because he doesn’t want his daughter to see this.  Lauren tries anyway and is shot down, and then cries and makes a fool of herself. Great job.  She runs off crying in a corner.

Clare gets some one on one time where she tells Juany-Poo that even though she initially swallowed the Octopus, she later threw up in her mouth, but don’t worry, she swallowed it down.  SEXY!

He then kisses Clare, which is like “Hey Renee, Andi, and Lauren I don’t really like you at all.”  BUT, Andi gets the rose.

Rose Ceremony:

  • Already have roses: Nikki, Sharleen, Andi

Clare is having one on one time until Nikki, who apparently lost part of her dress, decides to interrupt.  Juan Pablo and Nikki have a boring conversation when he brings up the possible drama in the house.  Nikki assumes that Clare ratted her out, which leads to some heated words that are actually annoyingly tame for us viewers, showing us that this feud will not end until one of them goes home.

Roses Go To:

  • Renee
  • Chelsie
  • Kelly
  • Danielle
  • Cassandra
  • Clare
  • Kat

Taking the 12 Hour Rejection Flight Home Are:

  • Elise – She blames her dead mom for sending her to The Bachelor and then sending her home.  CLASSY
  • Lauren S – Who has no dignity left to muster even a well done hair and make up job

Contest!

This season, we’re proud to announce that ProFlowers is the official floral partner of The Bachelor on ABC. To celebrate the new season and partnership, we’re kicking off The Bachelor Facebook Sweepstakes! This is a chance to win a trip to L.A. for you and a friend to attend the “After the Final Rose” final episode this season. We’re also giving away exclusive Bachelor Bouquets from our new Bachelor-inspired page here: http://www.proflowers.com/bachelor.

 It’s easy to enter, just “Like” the official ProFlowers.com Facebook page, click on the Sweepstakes tab and complete the entry from for a single entry. For additional entries, share the provided link with your friends on Facebook or Twitter. You’ll receive an additional entry for each friend who also enters!

The Contest Runs until February 20 – so don’t delay!

The Bachelor, Exercise & The Scale


So this will be a pretty broken up and random post, but I have a lot of little things to say and figured I would just group them.

The Bachelor

Oh Juan Pablo…

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He is cute, there is no denying that.  He is also hilarious, and doesn’t really hide what he is thinking.  Every girl that walked out of the limo’s he was like “WOW” and really excited.  He thought everyone was beautiful and made every effort to try and talk to everyone.

He also did a great job of getting rid of the crazy, I might add.

There were 27 girls this time as opposed to 25.  He seemed to get, what I think, 2 extra crazy girls than most seasons.  But, with that said, he eliminated – what appears to be – about 80% of them.  But it’s only the first episode.  These girls still have a chance to show their true nature.  A few of the ones he kept, Jason thought were absolutely, cut your phone lines, and break your knee caps crazy, and that is why I love him.

We had one woman cry almost instantly talking about how it was so hard, and it shouldn’t be this hard, and she didn’t know how to approach him, and blah.  She also still has the engagement ring and wedding dress from her failed engagement EARLIER THIS YEAR.  Girl take some time for yourself.  Juan Pablo don’t need that drama.

There was another girl, the ginger, who showed up in a horrible gown and for that should have been kicked off. I mean really. 

kylie-hear-wrong-name-rose-ceremonyYou can’t see her dress, but if you want to watch her humiliation – go here  (She heard the wrong name and went up when it wasn’t her, and then ultimately didn’t get picked.

Other than that we had a free spirit:

LUCY, JUAN PABLO GALAVISand the girl who got the first impression rose didn’t really seem to like him at all…

the-bachelor-juan-pablo-girls-first-impression-rose-ftr

 

Exercise

I was supposed to incorporate weight training yesterday with my running, and while I did a few things (Deadlifts, Squats, Shoulder presses, bicep curls, and rows) I didn’t stick to a routine and just kind of did the exercises I could remember from other workouts.  

So today I’m heading to the work gym with my coworker Grace to pump out some strength exercises.  I’m thinking this routine:

  • 1 Mile run Warm Up
  • Arm Machines 
  • Some free weights
  • Leg machines
  • Core machines?

I am not sure what they have at the gym because I usually just bee line for the treadmills, so I will have to report back when I find out.  I think that will be a good workout to ease back into it, and then when I have the machines down I can start using the D2S book again for actual workouts that have some sort of method to them.

The Scale

I didn’t post my Weigh In last week, even though I lost weight.  I am thinking that it’s too much for me to focus on (like it has been before).  While it’s a nice accountability factor, it makes me angry and annoyed when I don’t lose and I don’t need to project that on the blog anymore than I usually do.  My eating is getting better and more on track and I am looking forward to starting the week over on Friday with a clean slate, a clean weigh in, and a fresh start.  That is what every week, day, moment is – a new, fresh start.  I am planning on also buying a crap ton of produce this week, because my smoothies in the morning about about to get a major boost.  I am planning on making super smoothies with Shakeology and banishing the English Muffins for good!  Or just for breakfast. 

Well Darlings I am off to get back into work – busy weeks coming up – and then to the gym!

 

 

Oh There She Goes


Good Morning From Fair Lakes Virginia!

No I am not on travel.  This is a subset of Fairfax county in Northern VA, that isn’t really a place, so much as an area.  It’s where there are a lot of offices, and some homes, but mostly a place people commute to, like myself.

I am feeling rather chipper this morning, despite the nagging headache and the fact I am at work, because of two things!

  1. I’m going to work out at the gym at work during lunch
  2. IT’S THE LAST DAY OF CLASSES

The workout: I’m allotting about enough time for me to hit 3 miles or roughly 30 minutes.  Then I plan on doing a quick wipe down, dry shampoo of the hair, and then it’s back to work.  I think I need to do this more because it breaks up the day and makes the afternoon fly by – especially because I will be in meetings for the remainder of my day.  I’m going with a coworker/friend Grace who is training to run a 5K and because of the weather has found that running outside is kind of annoying – I agree with her.  I would much rather run in tepid weather (50′s – 60′s) than the bitter cold.  But I have done the bitter cold thing because of races (training and racing) and once you’re out there moving (especially at a race) it doesn’t matter so much.  But I am also crazy.

Last Day Of Class: It’s my last day of the Fall Semester.  All of my cohorts are off to do great things in schools and I have Spring Semester to learn about Bilingual and Second Language Acquisition Students.  It’s gonna be great! Plus I’m only taking one class, and studying for the Praxis, so I won’t have to let certain things fall off to the wayside and I can focus better.  Plus the class is Thursdays from 4:30 – 7:10 so I’ll even get home at a decent hour!  I’m most likely going to use Thursdays as my workout at lunch day so I can get it all in.  Or I’ll switch back to morning workouts… I meant to do that over the summer and failed after week 2 because, man, getting up early is hard if you’re not used to it.  I’d like to get back into it, if possible, at least two days a week.  Maybe I’ll start this next week with Tuesday and Thursday being my morning workout days and see how it goes.  MAYBE I’ll get up early enough to go running outside!

Wow everything I talk about circles back to Workouts, apparently.

I’m annoying that way.

We went to our brewery last night (it’s ours because we love it, and you can’t have it, so there.).  They were tapping the newest barrel of their Pumpkin Saison, which is amazing, but also 7.1 percent ABV, so I was done for the night after that one… only because Jason was done, and he reminded me I am not 21 and will not bounce back.  He was kind of right, because here I am with a mild hangover/headache thing.  I hate when he is right, and I have that it’s most of the time.  Anyways, we got our growler filled with Double Chocolate Stout which is my favorite beer from them (well I love all of them, but yeah.) and Jason was brave enough to have a glass when we got home – I was tipsy because I am apparently a lightweight now.

BadWolf Brewing Company – Manassas VA

I’m shocked at how fast the days are going – 15 more work days till I get a nice bit of time off!  WAHOO.  I am so ready for Christmas – I am not sure how ready Jason is… But I’m READY!

  • Are you doing anything special for the holidays?
  • Do you workout in the morning, lunch time, or evening or all three?
  • Beer – What’s your favorite?

Yesterday’s Run – 3.1 Miles – 31’33″


So yesterday after work I decided that it would be good to get my recovery run in.  I should have done it on Monday (as most articles I found said to do it with in 24 hours) but I could barely stand let alone walk or even think about running.  Tuesday it is, then.  I came home and threw on every cold weather item I had, since by the time I got home and was ready to run it was 44 degrees outside.  So I had the following:

  • Running dry wick gloves
  • Under Armor Pull Over in reflective Pink (half Zip)
  • My DailyMile T-shirt on top
  • Under Armor running tights with fleece lining
  • Knee high Reebok socks
  • Jason’s Virginia Tech Knit Beenie

I was ready to go.  I also was carrying a water bottle (completely not needed) and my Spi-belt with my phone in it.  I began my trek and felt injured almost immediately.  Because of my paranoia and my slowness I decided to change up my route since there have been a few ‘indiscretions’ in my area (as the Manassas City Police put it) and I didn’t want to add to the list.

Since my ‘close call’ last year with those two men who decided to ruin my running life outside, I’ve been pretty much steering clear of trails, cul-de-sacs, side roads, and any side of the street with a white van.  I actually felt bad yesterday because I straight up tore across the road when a guy switched sides of the road suddenly and began walking towards me.  It turns out he lived in the house I was in front of, but my insanity didn’t realize that.

There was another point that freaked me out, when I stopped to take pictures of the sky and sunrise for my Instagram (trying not to be 100% selfies anymore) a man walked up behind me and said “Isn’t it beautiful?” I shrieked and ran away.  I’m sure he thought I was insane, and of course I think I am.

It’s a crap shoot really.  I need to wear reflective gear because it’s getting darker earlier, and that makes me more visible, but then I also feel like a target.  I know that is a victim mentality, but it’s really hard when you’ve already been a victim.  Being a person who last year was ‘almost attacked’ as the police put it when I called, and then a survivor of rape from years ago, I am on edge when things feel “wrong”.  I get these gut feelings that something isn’t right, and I never can put my finger on it, and 99% of the time I never find out what it is, or nothing happens – but it’s there.  Always.  Walking to my car on campus at night is most troubling, even with a million people around and calling Jason till I get in my locked car, I feel on edge.  What would he be able to do on the phone?

Some might think I am being over dramatic, but for the past 11 months I haven’t been running outside except for races, my training and speed have suffered, and so have my legs.  So for me to go outside, run a loop in my neighborhood, and not be constantly looking over my shoulder, is hard.  I run with mace, I did run with a tazer my sister got me, but there were close calls on me tazing myself, and a lot of people at work think I should buy a gun and run with that (Please. No.  I think that would scare me more).  I thought about getting a dog to run with, but now with my old man Moody being so old and stuff, I can’t imagine bringing another dog into the house while he is here.  I don’t want the added stress, lack of attention, and confusion brought to him, so I don’t need a running dog now.

Blarney is fat and may be I should bring him.  I could try that today.  I run slow enough that he could just trot next to me, and smile, and laugh, and bark at squirrels.

Plus he is so intimidating.

Vicious

So there is my conundrum.  There are no running groups near me, and frankly I’ll lose motivation if I have to drive to meet one (unless it’s a weekend).  So I will just be looking over my shoulder, and praying for a protective bubble.

Oh and I am pretty sure I am going to gain a crap ton of weight this week, because although I have been tracking, I have also been eating my feelings and stuff.

To end this on a positive note – my run yesterday was great.  It was cold but nice, and I felt good at the end.  My legs are a lot better this morning, but I am pretty sure I caused trauma to my toes, the tips of them are sore, and I am sure I am going to lose some of the nails – At least it’s winter boot season!

Seen On My Run (Scenery and a Psycho)