Wednesday Meeting

Well I am in a meeting allllll day today for a dry run of a larger meeting I am in charge of early in November.

Yesterday I came home and ran 3.1 miles in 32’24”.  That’s a 10’27” pace.  Not bad at all.  I actually was incredibly happy with my run!  I am not sure if I am going to get to run tonight since I’ll be at work forever, but in the off chance I get home with enough time (and energy) I’ll try for another 3-4 miles.  If not tonight then most certainly tomorrow after work.  I think Friday I may do cross training to keep my legs warmed up for Sunday, but I don’t see myself running 2 days back to back before a race.

I have a lot weighing on me right now, with school, work, and family and it’s starting to make me unravel.  I am not exactly sure how it got this bad, but I no longer feel like my life or my house is my own.  I feel somewhat like a banquet hall or a hostel that people can just come and go as they please with.  I feel like if I was given the chance to dictate any parameters of an event at my house involving family, I would get shot down.

May be I was going to invite anyone anyway, but no one ever gave me the chance.  They just assumed.  Then when I do find out I am met with a childish reaction in blaming someone else, and my husband gets yelled at on the phone.

I’ve decided that I am not going to be the host anymore.  This year will be it.  It’s expensive, time consuming, and no longer fun.  With what used to be something that was exciting and enjoyable I am now in the frame of mind that it is just a burden.

May be I am hateful or childish for saying that, but I have a life that doesn’t revolve around everyone else and their wants.

Seem a little cryptic? Yeah I could easily call out names, but what would that accomplish?  An already strained relationship will just come more undone.

Well Off to lead my meeting!

Carry On Loves.

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