Wednesday Wants/Something a Bit Heavier (Jezebel Related)


First, the light…
  1. To run.  Desperately.  I miss it.  I know my legs are thanking me for this rest, but still.  I miss it, and lunges suck.  Squats Suck.  I know they will pay off in the end, but I miss my cardio like no other.
  2. Chocolate.  When I said I would give up chocolate for Lent, I knew it would be hard, but I didn’t realize it would be epically annoying too.
  3. For people like this idiot to fall off the face of the earth (More on this below).
  4. For more dismal mornings.  It’s gray and misty out and while that’s not a happy morning to wake up to, it makes the sunny, warm afternoons more enjoyable.  It’s like we won the weather battle or something.
  5. For Michael Bay to not ruin Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
  6. For one week, at the grocery store, for me to remember to BUY MORE FRUIT.  I swear.  What’s the point if I run out of grapes by Wednesday.  I mean really.  WHAT IS THE POINT.  VALEDICTORIAN OF GROCERY SHOPPING (Thanks Dooce for coining this term, and making my literally LOLZ every time I see it.)
  7. FOR ME TO GET THE NERVE/GUMPTION/GUTS TO SIGN UP FOR THE STUPID PRAXIS I EXAMS.
  8. I really need to stop buying low fat ice cream.  It gives me the false sense of healthiness, and makes me eat like 4 servings a night and then I oddly wonder why my pants don’t fit, and I am up 9 pounds (imaginary number) on the scale.
  9. For someone to give me one more report to do on a weekly basis.  Come on.  I already have 6.  What’s one more right?
  10. To not get eaten alive by teenage girls tomorrow at the Hunger Games midnight showing.  Every year that I have gone for twilight has been one frightening evening after another.  Yes I like the movies and the books.  Do I like sitting near girls who are genuinely convinced that they will in fact marry Edward?  No.  Why?  He doesn’t exist, and the guy who plays him is kind of dirty.

Now the Heavy…

The above post contained a link where an Idaho man, Chuck Winder, in office stated that:

Rape and incest was used as a reason to oppose this. I would hope that when a woman goes in to a physician with a rape issue, that physician will indeed ask her about perhaps her marriage, was this pregnancy caused by normal relations in a marriage or was it truly caused by a rape. I assume that’s part of the counseling that goes on.

 

Basically questioning if women even knew what rape was.  So lets think about this for a moment.  What is rape, by definition:

 

RAPE – noun, verb, raped, rap·ing.

noun

1.the unlawful compelling of a person through physical force orduress to have sexual intercourse.
2. any act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person.
4. an act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation;violation: the rape of the countryside.
5. Archaic . the act of seizing and carrying off by force.
Okay well, since I am pretty sure we are not talking about the violation of a country side, I think we can all agree rape means ‘Any act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person.’  Any argument there?
Okay, good.
So because old Chuckie here used women as the example, I’ll use women too (Even though men can and have been raped, and it’s not any less traumatizing just because its a man), to prove to Idaho and the WORLD, that I A WOMAN, know the difference between rape and not rape.
If a woman is on a date with a man and he begins making ‘moves’ and the woman consents for a bit and then says no.  The man stops, and they amicably move on to another activity.
Is this rape?  NO.
If a woman is on a date with a man and he begins making ‘moves’ and the woman consents for a bit and then says no.  The man says “Come on.”  and the woman continues her protest and the man still doesn’t listen, forcing the sexual encounter.
Is this rape?  YES.
Here’s the tricky example (apparently it differs in the minds of crusty old men)
If a married couple is in bed reading and the husband initiates ‘moves’ and the wife says no, and the man say’s okay and backs off.
Is this rape?  NO.
If a married couple is in bed reading and the husband initiates ‘moves’ and the wife says no, and the man say’s ‘TOO BAD YOU’RE MY WIFE YOU HAVE TO IT’S THE LAW.” and then forces the sexual encounter.
IS THIS RAPE? YES.
It doesn’t matter if it’s your boyfriend, friend, husband, stranger, coworker, boss, Senator, etc.
If the women (or in fact the man – just to keep things equal) say no, and the other party continues against their wishes, it’s forced, and it’s rape.
Before I met Jason, I dated a guy who I met while working at the evil empire of coffee shops.  He was sweet, attractive (to me), and hilarious.  He was a little bit older than I, but not by much, and I was smitten.  Well at his place one night, things went a bit farther than I wanted and I asked him to stop, or said something along the lines of “No, not tonight.”  I liked him, and felt myself falling for him but after mistakes made in my past I wasn’t ready for that.  Well he continued and I became forceful and said “No.”
He didn’t listen.
This is the first time I have admitted this to really anyone, other than Jason and well, a few friends – most whom I no longer speak to.  So you can imagine the amount of anger I must have felt reading that article from Jezebel.  I was fuming last night upon sight of this.
I never pressed charges, mainly out of fear that because of poor choices in my past, the situation and because for so long (during my questionable past and drug use phase) it was hard for anyone to believe anything I said, I didn’t think anyone would take anything I said with a grain of salt.
I don’t plan on pressing charges, because last I had heard (via facebook stalking because I’m crazy) the world had repaid him, nicely, for his actions, and frankly that at this juncture is good enough for me.  So please don’t comment here or anywhere else about how I let ‘women down’ by not reporting him, or how I could still do it, because I won’t.
I’m at peace with the situation and where I am now.  Mostly thanks to Jason.
My Open Letter to Chuck Winder:
Dear Chuckie and all old men of the Government,
The fact that it is 2012 and you still act as though women can not take care of themselves is hilarious.  We’ve been taking care of all of you for centuries.  Where would you be without us?  Where would you be without support?  Where would you be without the strong woman standing behind you during your campaigns, elections and decisions?
The least, the very least you could do, when it comes to thanking the women who supported you through everything is support us in our own rights.  This is not about abortion choices, for me.  It’s about the respect that we deserve for our intelligence that may be JUST MAY BE we know what is best for us.
Be part of the solution Chuckie.  Not the problem.
xoxo.

3 thoughts on “Wednesday Wants/Something a Bit Heavier (Jezebel Related)

  1. You are a brave girl, and I’m sorry that is an encounter you had to experience. I think that by speaking out, you can only help raise awareness and help prevent future situations as such.
    On a lighter note – do a little cardio if you absolutely feel like you enjoy it! No shame in getting out and enjoying yourself!

  2. Every day I learn a little more about you that makes me love, respect and admire you even more. Someday I really hope we can meet in person. You are an amazing woman and I would love to just sit and chat with you.

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