bless.

As I was driving into work today I was listening to my normal morning show, Kane Show on Hot 99.5 FM, and they were discussing a story that occurred in Richmond VA about how people are ‘paying it forward’ by doing good deeds just because, for people who they don’t know.

As in paying the toll for the car behind you on the toll road, or buying the lunch that someone ordered behind you in the drive thru, for them.  I used to pay for the coffee of a homeless man daily when I worked at starbucks in Gainesville, VA.  Especially when it was cold out.  Sure we all see the Salvation Army bell ringers, and the Toys for Tots boxes, and sometimes we donate, sometimes we just walk by.  But I thought about this today on my way to work and couldn’t get past the feeling of guilt.

I am blessed with so much.  SO MUCH, and I don’t think I do enough.  I did the breast cancer 3-day yes, but that was just one thing.  One small thing.  I want my entire year to be filled with that.  I want that feeling of graciousness and humility.  I know that is kind of selfish, but its the good kind of selfish.  Its the kind of selfish you want to be.

So tomorrow the Kane show is paying it forward.  They have asked all of their listeners to pay it forward tomorrow.  So that is what I am going to do.  I am not sure how, I am not sure when, or what the circumstances will be… but I will do it.

This also got me thinking about how blessed I am, and how annoying it is to me that I still find things to complain about.  “Oh our kitchen is outdated.”  We have a kitchen with food in which to nourish ourselves.  “Our bathrooms are too 80′s style” – we have 2.5 bathrooms to use in a house, when really we only need one.  “My clothes are all from cheap stores.”  I have clothes and shoes – I  am warm and comfortable in the winter months.  It’s like no matter how much we have, we always will want more.

I found a purse I so want.  Desire even.  It’s a lot of money, and granted Jason thinks I deserve it because I have worked really hard, and we have come into a nice bonus this christmas, and we are out of debt (well immediate debt – YAY MORTGAGE) so he says “Buy it.”

I think I will buy it.  But then I think we are going to take twice as much money and donate it to the Fauquier SPCA, where we got our Blarney Dog, so that those animals may get a little extra this Christmas.